18. Live for yourself

minimi22

A somewhat awkward silence had appeared. Not finding anything else to talk about, Tomoka began thinking about another subject to talk about. A moment later she realized there was a rather obvious topic they hadn’t touched on: ninjas. 

“Hey Nozomi since you are an Uchiha and all are you going to become a ninja as well?” Right after Tomoka’s question Nazomi’s expression became depressed. It was obvious that Tomoka had chosen a rather delicate subject for the girl. 

“I don’t know if I can become one” It was more than clear that the girl lacked confidence but below that there was something else. Tomoka couldn’t tell exactly what it was but something was bothering her. At that moment Tomoka decided to try and help Nozomi. 

“Do you want to be one? Because I am sure I want to be a ninja” Tomoka gave Nozomi her brightest smile. Tomoka couldn’t tell what it was but something about the girl in front of her made her want to protect her. 

“I do but I don’t think I am good enough” Throughout the conversation Nozomi avoided eye contact with Tomoka. It was obvious that she felt shame about something. 

“Nozomi. I am sure you will be a great ninja if you want. All you have to do is put effort into your training. If it doesn’t work then put more effort. Find what suits you and what doesn’t. I believe you can do it” Once again Tomoka gave Nozomi a bright smile.

What happened next took Tomoka by surprise. Nozomi furrowed her brows, she looked angry. For the first time in the current conversation she looked Tomoka straight in the eyes before speaking. 

“What do you know! I have trained a lot, I have given it my all! In the end I am still useless!” Small tears began appearing in Nozomi’s eyes. Tomoka could tell that the girl was hurting inside. Something or someone had completely demolished her self confidence. Just like Aurora’s parents did in her last life. 

“Nozomi please calm down. What are you talking about to begin with? What did you try that didn’t work? I might be able to help, after all two heads are better than one” Tomoka tried her best to pacify Nozomi with no success. After all, most of the time you told someone to calm down they would do the opposite. 

“Help me? How are you supposed to help me? I am defective! I can’t do the Uchiha’s fireball jutsu no matter how much I try! I don’t have the element for it!” At that moment Nozomi broke down sobbing. She hated herself, or rather through her short life people have made her hate herself. 

Tomoka didn't do this but Nozomi is an orphan, her parents died during Kurama’s attack on konoha. She had been neglected and never received any love. Things got worse a few months ago when her chakra was tested for elemental transformations. She had fuuton and suiton, no katon. In other words she had wind and water but no fire which was a staple of the Uchiha clan. 

Due to Nozomi’s lack of fire element she could not use the fireball jutsu that once again was a staple of the Uchiha clan. This led her to be shunned by other clan members. Even worse was the bullying she received from the kids. 

Hearing Nozomi’s words, Tomoka understood some of Nozomi’s pain. She decided that words would not be enough in a situation like this instead opting to hug the crying girl. Nozomi didn’t resist, instead she hugged Tomoka back with all her strength while crying. 

It took a while but Nozomi managed to calm down. She was still sad but she also felt lighter, like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. 

“Nozomi, you are not useless. Yeah, you might not be able to use fire release but who cares? You still have water release and wind release. Train them with all you got and show everyone that you can become a great ninja. 

“But I am an Uchiha, I am supposed to make the clan proud!” Tomoka could only smile wryly at that. 

“Nozomi, you shouldn’t care about dumb things like that. You owe them nothing. You should be your own person and live for yourself. You should aim to live a life you can be proud of, one that will make you happy. After all, it is your life and you will only get one” 

[That last part is a little hypocritical don’t you think?]

‘Shut up. can’t you see I was having a moment there?’

“Can I really do that? Can I really become a strong ninja?” Nozomi’s sad eyes were now filled with a fragile hope. One that Tomoka was sure that if broken would cripple Nozomi’s mentality for the rest of her life. 

“You can, I promise. Don’t listen to anyone that says otherwise. I will help you become a great ninja. Believe I will” For the third time today Tomoka gave Nozomi a bright smile.