Chapter 194 - 178

Shigure stood at the pier and watched as the fleets I assembled before left the base for their designated posts. The operation is in full swing, and many of my shipgirls have been assigned to friend fleets. The earliest one that left was Yahagi's Arson fleet. I assigned them to help Azur Lane with their operation. At least, that's what I wrote on paper. They will be avenging us in my place. I hope they made it in time. By the way, the 'Arson' part is because of Zuihou-chan's and Shigure-chan's ability to set things on fire. I figured it would be a fitting name for them.

"Should we go back? It's cold out here."

"A little longer..." (Shigure)

Shigure really wants to go back out to sea. That's a given. The sea is their birthplace. They are known as 'Children of the Sea' by some sailors and activist groups. As much as she wants to, she is in no condition to. The eyes serve as a radar alongside their vision. Shigure will be unable to detect an enemy properly until it's too late and will get blindsided by enemy attacks. As such, I am not sending her out to sea.

"Ah-ci!" (Shigure)

She just sneezed,

"Let's go back and warm ourselves up."

"Okay..." (Shigure)

When we got back, Shigure went straight to the docks. I know a hot bath is perfect in this cold weather but she has been spending a lot of time over there. Maybe because it's the closest body of water she can be in. Or maybe she is still trying to repair the broken part of herself. When she isn't helping me with work or getting headpats from me, she would either be staring out at the sea or hiding in the bathroom or the docks.

It's already been two weeks since then. I wonder when Grand Admiral Hasake can come by. I sent him a a few messages last week and haven't gotten a single reply since.

Hopefully the best researcher and engineer in IJN can figure something out...

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---Shigure POV---

Why am I still here? I'm useless and ugly now.

I stared at my own reflection in the mirror and the grotesque void on my face stared back at me. I still can't believe this happened to me. Why did I let this happen? If only I was stronger...

I closed the void. I don't want to see it.

How long has been since then? My eye has stopped hurting. I lost a vital part of myself, but sometimes, I feel as if it is still there.

Now, the only bodies of water I can be in is here and Admiral bathtub. Pathetic... I'm really useless like this. I can't even go on patrols or expeditions like this.

I just keep on imposing on him. I won't be surprised if he were to scrap me sooner or later. A destroyer who can't fight is just a waste of resources and time.

Then again, Admiral is kind. He wouldn't do such things as scrapping us or abandoning us. He is too kind...

Way too kind for someone like me...

I dipped my head under the water...

Let's try this again...

I opened my eyes underwater. There was the usual burning sensation on my right. So painful that it forced my head out of the water.

The usual bleeding comes soon after...

Why? Isn't this pool supposed to heal me? Why is it hurting me instead?

"Why am I like this?! Why is this happening to me?!"

This is ridiculous. What's the point of me being here?

I just want to be with everyone. I want to fight together with everyone. I don't want to be alone again.

More importantly, I want to useful to Admiral. If I'm just a burden to him, then there is no meaning in life for me! I love Admiral. But Admiral loves Zuihou. I know there isn't a place for me in his heart. At least, if I can be useful, I get to a chance to stand by his side. Now, I even lost that position...

"Eh? Someone's here already?" (???)

I turned to the source of the voice. It was Commander Rei.

"Commander Rei..."

"Ah. It's Shigure. Rei is fine for now. I'm on break today anyway." (Commander Rei)

"I see."

Then why is she here? Shouldn't be having fun outside?

"Huh? Why are you bleeding?" (Commander Rei)

Crap. I forgot to wipe away the blood.

"It's fine."

I tried to wipe the blood away.

"No no no. It's not fine at all. Come here." (Commander Rei)

Commander Rei pulled me out of the medicinal pool. She dragged me to the washing stations and made sit on the stool.

"Open it." (Commander Rei)

"I'm fine, Commander. You don't have t-"

"Just open it." (Commander Rei)

"But it's ugly and disgusting."

"It's not. There is nothing disgusting about an empty eye socket. I have seen worst in my JSDF days. This is nothing compared to that. Oi! Don't cover it with your hands!" (Commander Rei)

How is she stronger than me?

I got completely overpowered...

Commander Rei is looking at the disgusting void of mine.

"Gosh. What did you do this time? The insides are inflamed." (Commander Rei)

"Just a little... experiment."

"Yeah right. As if I can believe that. Admiral will freak out if he sees this. At least the bleeding stopped a while ago. This was just residual blood." (Commander Rei)

Commander Rei washed off the blood that was still on my face. Speaking of which, Commander Rei wanted to aim for Admiral too, didn't she? I wonder what she thinks about it now,

"Commander Rei,"

"I told you, Rei is fine." (Commander Rei)

"Then, Rei-san..."

"Yeah?" (Commander Rei)

"What do you think of Admiral?"

"Hmm... Since we are here, let's do it." (Commander Rei)

"Eh? Do what?"

"A heart-to-heart girls talk." (Commander Rei)