26 I AM ALONE PART III

A Betrayer

"If you become a ghost as well, then where are you?" I drop to my knees and sit on the cold floor. I hug my knees and put my head down. "Come back, take me with you."

"I miss you," as I said these words my tears spill out. "Where should I go?" I cry and cry the whole night.

I didn't realise that it's already morning when someone enters the memorial room. I look up and I see the 'Prince' comes in and he's still wearing his bedclothes.

He sits in front of the memorial table and after he paid his respect, he sits on the floor while looking at the memorial plaques.

"Queen Mother," he says. I come closer to him when he calls me as though he could see me.

"I dreamt of you again last night," his eyes are teary while mine already spilling out. "Oh, My 'Prince', I'm right here."

"Do you remember the time when we laid on the flower field? His Majesty was busy that time and didn't have time to play with us and you said that we would have all the great time ourselves and wouldn't invite him," he laughs softly but his eyes are sad.

"Then His Majesty sulked and didn't let us enter the flower field and we had to coax him for a week!" he smiles and his tears roll down his cheeks. "I miss that time."

He was only five-year at that time, how can he remember it so clearly?

"Mother misses you too," I say to him. I want to wipe his tears and hug him on this instant but when I touch his face, my fingers penetrate through and I quickly retracted my hand.

"Why did you do that?" He says suddenly and I look at him questioningly.

"Why did you do that and left me behind?" He looks angry as his eyes fixed on my memorial tablet.

'What did I do?' I thought.What did I do to make him look this angry? Was it because I left him and his father behind? I am sure I had no choice. Did I?

"Why did you betray ..." he trails off. His head down again and he couldn't finish his words as he starts sobbing.

"Betray?" I ask him. "I never betrayed anyone," I say defending myself. It hurts to hear my child to say such a corrupted word.

"What do you mean, my 'Prince'? Who did Mother betray?" I demanded, I want him to answer me but he couldn't even hear me, how could he possibly answer me?

He stops crying when he hears someone's coming into the room. He wipes his tears.

"Your Majesty," a woman calls. "Why are you here this early?" She drapes a thick garment on him. "Let's go, you'll get cold," she says, worried.

I follow them until inside the chamber, he sits on his bed. The woman orders a palace maid to prepare a hot tea for the King then she returns to him and sits beside him.

"My Queen," the King says while looking at her. He's wearing a very sad expression.

"What is it, My King?" She looks worried.

"I dreamt of her again," he says and tears filled his eyes.

"Oh, My King," she takes his hands and wraps it with her small hands. "I'm sorry that I couldn't comfort you enough but if I could give you a piece of my advice, let her go and you will feel better after that."

I feel offended by her words and say to her, "How dare you making my child forget about me."

To my contempt, he agrees with her, "I know. How could I keep thinking about her when she betrayed us like that but My Queen, whenever I dreamt of her, it was all a happy memory. I'd never once dreamt a bad thing about her despite what she had done to us."

"What did I do to make you say such treasonous thing, my 'Prince'?" I feel anger rushes in me, my heart breaks into pieces.

My own child said I was a betrayer.