There were only me and a cop inside the narrow investigation room. He was standing and I was sitting. The burning illumination from the 40W bulb hurt my eyes.
“Tell me the truth and I’ll strive to reduce your sentence.”
He narrowed his eyes and looked at me with glee. Like a hunter who just caught a sly fox.
I couldn’t help recollecting the events that happened today. I want to tell you how I ended up in this position after pushing Ai ShuQiao’s threats in the back of my mind.
In the morning at 7am, because of Auntie Ren’s interference, Xiao Qin wasn’t able to come to me, so I rode the subway alone to film city.
Nothing noteworthy happened on route other than the advertisement which read ‘XXX intestines hospital, treating both inner and outer hemorrhoids, guarantees no reoccurrences.’ My anus was pretty itchy after staring at the ad for the entire ride.
After I arrived on set, the first one I bumped into was Kyle, the main protagonist, who was able to leave the hospital early because he had recovered.
He scratched the bandage on his ear and said to me with a strange Chinese accent:
“Can I-oh as-kissu you?”
Damn, what kind of question is that? Although I know America is the home of the gays, I never thought I would meet another one. I never expected a guy with lady killer looks would be a homo.
Kyle quickly realized his incorrect words from my expression. He thought for a while and suddenly came to a realization and changed his sentence:
“I-oh said, I have an affair, can I-oh ask you?”
Oh, so you had something to ask. If he said he wanted to kiss me, I would have punched him on behalf of the Chinese government and its people.
Kyle wanted to know Ai Mi’s preferences so he could improve their relationship.
What a joke. I know Ai Mi likes cola, chips, and other junk food, but why would I tell you. I’m already discontent with your intimate actions with her in front of camera, why would I help you improve your relationship with her.
Kyle, who seemed to be missing a brain, jabbed my stomach with his elbow like he was an old friend.
“Ai Mi will leave China in 2 years, you’re only a passerby in her life and won’t have any results with her. Instead of doing something useless, you might as well help me get her. It’s worthwhile being my friend since I’m very generous to my friends.”
Passerby? I’m her brother, you’re the one who’s only a passerby.
Even if my sister will marry one day, I’ll take Shu Zhe’s words into consideration and find her a smart partner.
He was completely blind to my hostility and said shamelessly:
Who bedded Su Qiao? She only came to me because she was enticed by someone else. Also, I admire myself for how eloquently I was able to reject her. You only saw her walk out of my room, don’t make irresponsible remarks about our relationship.
“Anyway, you guys always say Americans have loose morals, but you’re the playboy here. Why do you have to fight over Ai Mi, what if my mouth slips and I accidentally tell the martial arts director’s daughter that you slept with Su Qiao…”
You dare. If you told Xiao Qin, I’ll beat you up even if it causes a diplomatic incident.
Seeing as I was unmoved, Kyle thought of an even more outrageous idea. He quietly told me he has some ‘good stuff’ and we can ‘fly’ for a bit after work and improve our relationship.
Weed isn’t prohibited in a lot of countries (ex Netherlands), so Kyle thought that it would be fine in China as well.
Foolish, we might lose in other areas, but when comparing prohibited things, China definitely won’t lose, we ban everything that you don’t ban.
Carrying is a serious felony in China, weed isn’t an exception. Not only do you want to smoke weed, you even want to coerce me into doing it as well?
I remembered something that my old man once said to me:
“I wont stop you even if you want to have a sex change, as long as that’s something you actually want, but I’ll never let you touch drugs, that’s my only rule.”
It’s said that drugs can change the composition of one’s brains, and can eventually turn yourself into a stranger that you don’t recognize anymore, so that’s why he warned me so seriously.
Because of his influence, I don’t even smoke, let alone come in touch with any drugs.
Kyle heard that I’m not interested in his weed, he sneered with an expression like he was in need of a beating and said that all university students in America has smoked it and that it’s not even as harmful as smoking or alcohol. I remain unmoved and firmly rejected him.
Kyle shrugged and went to look for the director to discuss filming plans.
I suddenly remembered that Director Cao once told me that of the foreigners filming in film city, many carried drugs, and weed was considered the least harmful of them.
Dong Shan city’s counter-narcotics team knew of this happening, but because of the economic benefits that they brought, and that the foreign actors only smoked it themselves and not peddled it, so with the mayor’s interference, the counter-narcotics team could only turn a blind eye.
However, that only happened with a tacit mutual understanding if a couple of rules, one major one was that none of the drugs they carried were allowed to pass hands to a Chinese, especially not being brought out of film city by a Chinese.
It was like how the Americans treated the Native Americans, you can take the drugs until you die, just don’t bring harm to the Chinese.
If you carefully looked around, whether at the subway entrances or highway tollbooths, you’ll always find a couple of undercover cops observing the crowd, and would investigate as soon as they notice something out of the ordinary.
In summary, I don’t feel that Kyle carrying weed is anything special, I also don’t think it has anything to do with me, I just speculate that one day he’ll smoke himself retarded.