Chapter 67

A confusing memory from not so long ago unexpectedly came to mind.

“You know, about being ‘focused’…”

Just recalling their dialogue made her stuck for words. In the midst of her confusion, Si-Jin had finished his work after busily moving his fingers over the screen with a concentrated look and shifted his gaze towards Na-Yool.

“What is it?”

“You know, that focusing of yours.”

“Say things that make sense, would you?”

“Mind you, you were the first to say something that did not make sense, Mr. President.” rebuked Na-Yool angrily. She remembered how a few days back his words had confused her for half a day. She had asked him why he would bother sleeping with her despite his busy schedule and, to her great astonishment, he had answered that it helped him focus… [T/N: cf. dialogue in chapter 35]

His face was tilted to the side with a still completely oblivious look. And his eyes, which had been tainted in all shades of desire over the weekend, were as blank as it could be. As though plenty satiated.

It was expected. After tiring her down like a beast like he did, if his eyes were still filled with hunger, it would be when his lack of humanity hit a no-return point!

“I still don’t understand what you’re talking about.”

‘Because it helps me focus’. The bizarre statement he had previously made grazed Na-Yool’s ears like an auditory hallucination. She gave Si-Jin a suspicious look.

“What I mean is, that thing, se-…”

Although her boss was perfectly fine with using that word all the time, she still had a hard time doing the same, as she hated how bland and casual it sounded.

“Sex.”

“……”

Even when Si-jin filled in the word on her behalf like that, it made her shudder.

“Yes, that.”

“What about sex?”

“…You know, when you said having sex helps you focus.”

“Ah.” A wry little smile drew on Si-Jin’s face tilted towards Na-Yool. “It’s exactly as I said.”

“How can you smile so brightly and speak of it like it is nothing?”

“Because it’s nothing.”

“It is something. By how weird it is, to say the least.”

“Like I said, it literally helps.”

Si-Jin was still so composed that the pervert within was nowhere to be found. It suddenly brought back an earlier memory to Na-Yool’s mind.

“…That day, when you were mas-, masturbating on your own, could it be…?”

“Could it be because it helps me focus?”

It was the same plain tone as when he had previously said those astonishing words to her. A tone which seemed to say that this explanation truly was the sole reason for his actions and nothing more.

“So, Mr. President, you are saying that, in your office, in the middle of the night, that kind of filthy thing… you did it in order to focus? Feeling strangely insane enough as to… do that thing…?”

She was basically asking if he was crazy to that extent. Si-Jin replied indifferently.

“No need for feelings. I just mechanically get down with it.”

So now he was proud of being a machine-like sicko! Na-Yool’s sharp eyes looked up at him as she cautiously picked her words.

“So every day at night, at work, in that place where clueless people come and go all day long, you…”

“I did not do it that often.”

“Each person has their own standards of ‘often’. If a man can jerk off 5 times a day but only do it 3 times, without knowing that fact, who knows if you might look down on him as a dull man who does not jerk off that much?”

Even though her visible irritation made it look like she was on the verge of reporting Si-Jin’s hobby, Na-Yool spoke in a relaxed tone, as if she understood this pervert’s circumstances. He answered with a shrug.

“My focusing is usually too great for that.”

“…Because you really need it, each time you really need it, to choose to‒”

“To begin with, I have no interest in shaking my dick.”

And I am not a fucking pervert either, he insinuated. Him, who anyone would now indisputably recognize as an outstanding sicko if they knew about his ‘circumstances’!

Whether out of interest or accidently, who on earth could be called a pervert if not the guy masturbating in his office?

“Once I’m done releasing, my mind gets light and clear, that’s all.”

“And because it falls in the same category…”

Na-Yool wanted to ask if sleeping with her was a substitute for jerking off, but the idea felt so miserable that she refused to let the question pass her lips. Si-Jin faintly shrugged his shoulders.

“You are not as helpful as you think.”

“……”

He denied the question Na-Yool had not yet asked as if he already knew about it. She had felt weird the first time hearing she was being of help, but, for some reasons, why did it hurt her self-esteem now that he was saying otherwise?

Si-Jin carried on with his usual nonchalance.

“It’s not that you’re a substitute but…”

“…So you are still doing that thing every day?”

“I did not, ever since sleeping with you.”

“What are you saying…”

“Because it doesn’t stand.”

“……” Just as she was stunned speechless by the audacious declaration, Si-Jin pulled out his erect penis. “You mean you cannot because it simply would not stand? Wait, but…”

Discovering the penis one beat late, Na-Yool’s face froze in confusion.

“…Why are you suddenly taking that shameless thing out?…”

“Just a few words from you make it hard like this. Especially when that little mouth of yours fearlessly debates such dirty topics, my dick just wants to open it wilder and shove itself in…”

“……”

His words didn’t stop at all after that, but Na-Yool blocked her ears before hearing more of his horrendous crave, and she maniacally muttered that she could not hear anything. Unable to make sense of the situation, she shouted “I don’t know what you mean but I got it already so tuck that thing back in!” out of desperation.

As he silently berated her for overreacting about something she was already familiar with, Si-Jin slipped the erect monster back into his sweatpants. The shape of his erection was clearly visible but, finally relieved to not see it anymore, Na-Yool dropped her hands and released her ears.

Right then, distinctive words entered them.

“Thanks to you, I don’t have to bother getting it up with my own hands.”

“Oh god, for real… you’re so nasty…”

Si-Jin smirked above Na-Yool’s sullen face. As she pushed him away with disgust, his smile grew wider.

“I know you’re pretending.”

“What do you know!!”

“I know that deep inside you like this kind of thing.”

It did not come from the baseless confidence typical of men, but from the certainty of having read her mind correctly. She had secretly wavered because of him a few times, therefore she felt troubled to say it was not true. Since she could not deny it, she simply put up an aggrieved front.

Not aggrieved because it was not the truth, but instead because of that odd and self-deceptive feeling that it partially was true…

“As I said from the beginning, I have no intention of dating.”

“……”

Si-Jin said it casually like a fact of no importance, but Na-Yool’s heart sank with a thud without a chance to fool itself. That one statement, that she had kind of expected. Or rather, that she was confident to be well aware of. That firm line drawn between the both of them. Just the fact that she had heard it directly from Si-Jin… it was brutal.