Chapter 39

Chapter 8 – Friday evening, 8:17 p.m.

“Okay. I will collect all corrected drafts and send them to Baeksan then.”

“Thank you.”

“Are you getting off from work now?”

“I should, soon.”

“I heard you are going on a date with Seung-Jae after work?” asked Hee-Jung with a playful smile.

It was already the third time today Na-Yool had been asked this question. Including messages received on the office messenger, the sixth time. Without acting flustered nor denying it, Na-Yool just quietly shook her head.

“Those are false rumors, false rumors.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Really. Just rumors.”

Anyway, that damn gossip ground of a company…

Although the company was so uselessly spacious ‒ as if to tell its employees to live without looking at each other’s face ‒ it certainly sounded way more cramped, seeing how fast a rumor could spread.

“You should try to seriously give it a thought, though.”

“About what?”

“Dating Lee Seung-Jae.”

“Why?” retorted Na-Yool, perplexed.

Hee-Jung, 10 years older than Na-Yool, laughed amused by her cuteness.

“I don’t know how this rumor came out but…No, actually I do know how. Yes, I do. Earlier Kim PD was passing by our desks but stopped to throw a tantrum about not wanting to go home and—”

“Isn’t he kind of cute?” asked Hee-Jung, casually ignoring Na-Yool’s explanation.

“What?”

“Lee Seung-Jae.”

“Why do you keep mentioning him? You should know better, but you sound like an amateur.”

Of course, the idea was not necessarily unpleasant. Because Seung-Jae was not a dreadful choice. In another company she had even been set up for marriage at the age of 24 with a 39-years-old manager, so she was almost thankful to be coupled at 29 with a fine young man only one year younger than her.

Nevertheless, what good would there be in being entangled with a colleague who was pushed on her by the other employees and become the talk of the town? Was there any single benefit to it?

Even if it was a joke, the more talk there was about it, the firmer she had to be to shut it down or else rumors would remain for a while in one way or another. She could do with people wrongly remembering that she had something going on with Lee Seung-Jae, as long as they did not bullshit her with some “Didn’t he reject you back then because you kept throwing yourself at him?” remarks.

And I’m already in such a muddle…

It really was burdensome and so pointlessly noisy and tiresome. In any case, the craze for matching people romantically was unchanged, regardless of their age or situation. Be it in middle school when a girl and a boy get teased for studying together, or in college when you clap for your friends to date each other out of boredom, or even getting matched now as a grown-up with a job.

This country is such a sucker for love stories…

Korea was so helpless on this matter. As she pestered her country, Na-Yool felt the need to trample without dreams or hopes on this pathetic situation.

“It’s because I know well that I am poking around.”

“……” Na-Yool had to answer carefully to such meaningful words. If she denied calmly, her denial would seem too weak, but if she denied too vehemently then it might get misunderstood as answering in the affirmative.

“If I had to say, he is also handsome.”

“His body too, it’s pretty nice.”

“He must be taking care of it, right? Despite his looks, he is quite diligent!”

“No, I think he would fall if I hit him just once.” Na-Yool was answering with moderate cautiousness, apathetic yet uncompromising.

Plus, Seung-Jae honestly was a little thin. He seemed to have some muscles but, judging from the fancy clothes he liked to wear like a celebrity, he undoubtedly had a slim line. For having such tastes, he had to be.

Therefore Seung-Jae was far from being skin-and-bones, but it did not mean that he was objectively attractive nor that she had any reason to objectively praise his looks. At this point…

“Hey! I don’t think he would.”

“That kid is not exactly…” Na-Yool chose her words carefully again. Although Seung-Jae was the one responsible for this situation for mentioning the dinner party in front of Kim PD, he meant to comfort her, so she could not randomly find fault with him either…

“… he is not exactly reliable. That’s just it.”

Of course, in terms of work rather than body. That fact at least was not defaming towards Seung-Jae.

“Na-Yool, you haven’t dated younger men?”

“Ah, not really…”

“Only older ones?”

“Well, yes, basically…”

So what if Seung-Jae was younger or older? Not only did he not qualify to be classified this way, but they did not even have a slight interest in each other, so what was the point of this conversation? Right now, listening attentively then denying any involvement was much needed.

“Indeed, even if it’s by one year, he is still a younger man. When you keep dating older ones, even men of the same age as you will end up looking like kids.”

“Yes, exactly.”

“Even his actions look childish right?”

“You said it. That’s exactly it!” Na-Yool was delighted. Hee-Jung nodded vigorously and added:

“Which is why you should try dating him.”

“……?” How did the conversation flow this way?

“This is your time to date him. Not old men that have lived many more years than you.”

Sang-Hoon, who had suddenly become an ‘old man’ just by being 4 years older than her, would be crying out of injustice. Of course, Sang-Hoon could be considered to have become an old man at an early stage. Even if all 33-years-old people were technically young.

“You are so lovely, it’s such a waste. I understand your principles, but I feel you are missing out by dating only older men.”

“It just happened this way, it’s not like I had principles or anything.”

“When you look at it, younger men clearly have a cute side to them, and also the satisfaction of looking after and carrying for them…”

“……”

So what, were older people especially grown-up and mature? Even the younger men that Hee-Jung found cute would eventually become older ones to someone. In Na-Yool’s eyes, whoever they are,  they were all just the same Korean men who were raised so preciously.

The depth and extent of consideration are standard, as if all predefined. Saying “For you, of course I would” is, when you think about it, the result of showing great generosity at heart. Only until that generosity bothers the precious gentleman hidden in one’s heart. Or until you get tired of that relationship.

It is all about how long you can pretend not to have feelings, or pretend these feelings are not what they are…

So mature or cute, they are all alike anyway.

Sang-Hoon also basically acted like an adult. That is, back in the days their love was in full bloom.

“…Younger ones are fine, the cute type, the needy type, all are good, but right now I’m already having a hard time taking care of myself…”

“It sounds like a hassle, right? But let me tell you. Do you know what is fascinating?”

“What is it?”

Hee-Jung whispered as if to reveal a grand secret. “If you love that man, it won’t.”

…It truly was fascinating. Na-Yool felt her will to fight slipping away but, unwilling to back off, she tried her best to raise objections.

“Isn’t it impossible to like a troublesome man from the start?”

“Why are you already so narrow-minded about it? You’re not even 30 yet. You need to have an open mind.”

“Obviously, if he is troublesome, it would be hard to have good feelings about him…”

“You’re right. It is difficult. Of course it is.”

“Yes, right?”

“That’s why in that case, a nice face is an absolute prerequisite. A young, good-looking face with a firm skin.”

“Ah.” Na-Yool nodded as if she found it kind of convincing.

“You need to feel good just looking at him. That way, you will feel good even when you go around together.”

“…That might be…”

“Sometimes, it also helps with putting up with your hardship when you are tired. If your man doesn’t have a face with that effect, he should at least have some skills. See, that’s how men should be.”

Hee-Jung’s words flowing into her ears sounded less like an utopia than a diatribe.