Book 2: Chapter 42

It is Nala that is announced next. She sings a love song. Hero blushes. She blushes. I'm not amused.

Nala: Me: 3/10 Florian: 10/10 Sebastian: 5/10 Audience: 5/10

Next is Kida, who appears to have a strong man act. She lifts several weights of increasing sizes. It’s somewhat impressive, but the last weight is making the stage sound a little…

CRACK

The impromptu stage can’t take the weight, and Kida falls to her knees, barely managing to keep the weights from landing on her head. With a massive thump, Kida’s head hits the stage and there is a loud bang. When the dust clears, Kida is knocked out cold, her ass is in the air, her thong armor giving the crowd an eyeful. Women cover up the eyes of their boyfriends, but even their disapproval can’t stop the roaring cheers of a crowd getting an eyeful of camel toe.

Kida: Me: 1/10 Florian: 8/10 Sebastian: 2/10 Audience: 9/10

“Is she going to be alright?” Florian asks worriedly.

“Probably fine. You didn’t give her a ten?”

“Ah, well… there is children present, right?”

Florian looks genuinely guilty he didn’t give her a ten.

Bell comes up next and pulls out a bunch of hula hoops and started hula hooping. I didn’t realize she is so good at using her hips. I’ll need to take that under advisement for the future.

Bell: Me: 7/10 Florian: 10/10 Sebastian: 4/10 Audience: 7/10

Cindy comes up next. She sits down in the middle of the stage. Everyone is briefly confused. A moment later, she lifts a foot and then puts it behind her head. Then she lifts another and puts both behind her head. Suddenly, she flips, her body moving in angles that should be completely impossible. Did her head just turn 360 degrees! Cindy, have some restraint in front of the crowd!

“She… um… sure is flexible.” Florian smiles wryly as Cindy continues to bend into increasingly more exotic shapes.

Just like I built her…

Cindy: Me: 8/10 Florian: 10/10 Sebastian: 6/10 Audience: 8/10

“Come! I will take down any man!” Shivra walks on stage and pulls a sword. “Come at me, you dogs! Try your luck and get cut to pieces by my sword!”

“Is-is this some kind of play?” Florian asks.

“No… I think she just wants to fight something.” I shrug. “Hey, Jasmine, want to fix your score? Fight her!”

“Eh?” Jasmine walks out from the back stage. “F-fight her?”

“Mm… it’ll be fine.”

“Um… I think…” Florian tries to intervene and stop the show down.

“Let the fight begin!” I interrupt him as the crowd murmurs in confusion.

“You dare mock me!” Shivra growls, “Don’t think I shall hold back because it’s a little girl. I will destroy her- “

While Jasmine is shaking and Shivra is strutting, I wave my hand. Shivra stops immediately. It’s so abrupt that everyone looks on with confusion. Her eyes shoot to me and then back to Jasmine before she audibly gulps.

“W-which is… to say, I… am too proud to possibly… gain satisfaction, from fighting a little girl. So… I refuse… to fight.”

As she says this, her voice seems strained. Her position looks awkward, her legs pressed tightly together as her body trembles.

“Huh?” Jasmine looks on in confusion at Shivra’s state.

Shivra is starting to sweat, and she takes baby steps back as if she’s planning on fleeing the stage. “Now, if you’ll excuse me since no one is brave enough to fight me, I’ll be going…”

“Jasmine, attack her now!”

“B-but…”

“It’ll be fine.”

“Don’t little girl!” Shivra’s voice suddenly takes on a pleading tone. “That is, to say, yo-you can’t possibly defeat- “

“Okay, here I come!” Jasmine trusts me fully and races up to Shivra.

Shivra doesn’t move her sword, her hand gripping tightly on it like she can barely move. She looks on in horror as a small fist flies towards her stomach. It hits right there. Although it isn’t hard, the added pressure is too much.

“No! It’s coming out!” Shivra wails.

A moment later Shivra’s face goes yellow. However, that isn’t the only thing.

“Eh?” Jasmine looks on in confusion. “Shivra’s pants are getting wet! Is Shivra peeing herself?”

“Ah!” Shivra screams, her pants now completely soggy. “Damn you, warrior, I’ll get my revenge. Humiliating me like this!”

Shivra runs from the stage followed by the laughter of everyone in Riun.

“She probably shouldn’t have gotten into a fight if she had to pee so bad,” Florian responds wryly.

That’s right, Florian, interpret things at my own convenience… I mean, your own.

There is a great deal of clapping, and the audience seemed to take it as some kind of comedy routine.

“She really sold it, I thought she actually peed herself on stage. I thought goblins were scary but it turns out they can have fun!” Someone in the crowd is saying.

Well, it’s only advantageous if they don’t remain frightened of goblins.

Shivra: Me: 6/10 Florian: 10/10 Sebastian: 2/10 Audience: 8/10

I also increased my score for Jasmine to an 8.

“Finally! The best girl here, my Tiana, woooah!” Sebastian got up and clapped as soon as Tiana got on stage.

Wow, father is a little biased here, it seems.

“Pass.” I say.

“Eh? What, but I didn’t even say anything yet!” Tiana declares.

“What does it matter? It’ll be garbage anyway.” I respond.

“Hah… you commoner… this… on stage, in front of everyone.”

“Ah, isn’t that a little mean? I mean she-“ the white knight Florian tries to defend her.

“I don’t know what you mean by saying I’m mean. All I see is some trash on stage. Hey maids, isn’t it your job to sweep up? I see a piece of crap on my stage! Get rid of it!”

There is a mumbling across the crowds as people start giving me dirty looks.

“My lord, if I may suggest. Perhaps it would be wise if you should tone down the foreplay with my daughter while we are in public.”

“F-f-foreplay?” the words are heard by everyone in the crowd.

As eyes snap back to the girl herself, rather than in tears, her face is flushed, and she is breathing hard. “Hah, hah… shit… just shit… I’m just trash… like a noble… hah… call me more names, commoner. I’ll be your toilet!”

The maids run up and grab her, dragging her off stage as she twitches and squirms. An awkward silence follows.

Tiana: Me: -1/10 Florian: 20/10 Sebastian: 10/10 Audience: 1/10

“Hey, you can’t give 20 points!” I complain.

“Any way you look at it, your treatment is too mean!” Florian shouts back.

“And now, our last contestant. Her name is Meg!” Daisy interrupts my argument.

“Hey everyone!” A girl runs out in her kimono dress with two hands raised in victory, “I’m Meg, the cutest girl alive!

Already, her bubbly personality causes people to start cheering for her. She immediately poses on the stage, showing a shamelessness only Ariel could match.

“For my Talent, it’s a very special one, but I’m going to need the audience’s help! Okay?”

“Woooooh!” The crowd cheers.

She turns to the judges and gives us a wink, but at that moment I start getting a sinking feeling.

“I just want…” She smiles as cutely as possible. “You all to die for me…”

“Huh?”

She raises her hand and slams it down. The world suddenly explodes as a massive force of energy seems to erupt everywhere at once. The shockwave carries a massive fire that erupts miles in every direction. When the dust finally settles, an untouched stage sits in the middle of a massive crater, and as to every building in Riun, there is none left standing.