Chapter 37: John's viewpoint (2)

I felt my heart shatter and I couldn't stop the pain that was now flowing through my body. Was that what he thought about me? That I was a whore and a liar? I walked back to my room with a calm that I defiantly didn't feel.

I had gotten up to go to the drink machine to get a coke. I was craving a coffee and coke drink but nobody was in my room. I took the initiative to go get it myself as I had been feeling much better.

It sounded like he hated me! And what was he talking about proof? What proof and proof of what? I felt the tears start to fall on my face and I couldn't stop them. It opened up a flood gate, tears racked my body.

I sobbed for what seemed like forever, but in reality, was most likely only an hour tops. I loved John and hearing him say that hurt. I had always been afraid that he would think I was a slut or that he wouldn't want to be with me, and now that fear has become true. I didn't know what to do.

I had not heard from John and I realized that I wasn't likely to again but I still hoped. My mom knew realized that I seemed to understand but we didn't talk about it. She bought it up once; it ended in tears and me not wanting to talk about it, so we didn't.

***

"Amelia?" my mom called. I put Ava back on the ground and walked into the kitchen to see what mom want, but to my surprise, she has a letter in her hand and an anxious look on her face. "What is it, mom?" I asked her worriedly.

"A letter from John," she said quietly so that the triplet‟s couldn't hear. I stared at the harmless envelop for a full minute before I held out my shaking hand to reach for it.

To Dearest Amelia, I am so sorry. I knew that you wanted us to be a happy family and I decided that I cannot do it. I have left to go back to college, where I should be. I should never have come back, no matter the reason. I will help you support Ava, Mae, and Adam but I will not be with you at all.

I thought that if we both tried then things might have worked, but I came to my senses before we both made any stupid choices or made the wrong decisions. Can you believe that I was planning to marry you? I had a ring and everything.

It had a white diamond in the middle and blue sapphires surrounding it. I had a huge romantic plan and everything; the perfect proposal. It would have been a huge mistake to go through with it though. It has become very clear that anything between us would never work. We are too different.

I was beginning to fall in love with you. I know that I had said those three words before, I realized that what I was feeling wasn't love. I cared for you very much, but I realize now that it was never loving. I could never love you. You are a teenage mom that has no idea where your life is heading and I have plans. I want to explore the world