Chapter 55: They are not a mistake

Why on Lord's names would John be a voice in my head sitting out there? Um, maybe because you have been missing for days? Said a voice in my head. "Um, do you mind sending him in?" I asked the officers politely. "Of course mam," they said, then left.

I lay there on the bed for a few minutes before my mom came running through the door. "Amelia baby! You are awake!" she yelled. I laughed and hugged her back when her arms wrapped around me. "Hey mom, I am ok," I said bravely. "Are you ok, really?" asked a familiar voice from the door.

I looked past my mom to see John leaning against the door frame. His face was almost exactly as I remember it, but his smile was gone.

Even in his eyes, they were dull. For a moment I felt his pain, but then I remember that he bought it against himself. "Hey John, how are you?" I said softly. He looked over me, just as I had done to him a few minutes ago.

"Your head looks sore" was all he said I laughed, "Yeah it is a bit. I will be ok." "I am going to go get us all an Ice Tea, maybe some cake, would you like that?" my mom asked me I nodded hesitantly.

Not because I didn't want cake and Ice Tea, because I did, but because it would mean that I would be left alone with John. We had not been alone for a very long time since we were still together. There had always been someone else there to ensure there were no awkward silences.

"Don‟t be stupid John. I will go" she said with that no-nonsense voice I remembered all too well from my childhood. With those parting words she left the room in pursuit of Ice Tea and cake, nature‟s comfort food in bad situations. As soon as my mom left, that silence I knew would come came. We both sat there half expecting the other to start a conversation, half hoping that someone would come. Nobody did.

"Ok, I will be the adult. How are you John" I asked stiffly "What makes you the bloody adult?" he asked rudely "The fact that I didn't run away from the family when I thought that things were bad without talking to anyone," I said angrily

"Hey, I made a mistake! You made mistakes, three of them if I remember correctly." "Excuse me?" I yelled, "They are NOT mistakes.

They weren't planned, but not mistakes, and who helped make them? Huh? They weren't a miracle birth" He looked to the ground, realizing his mistake. His face then turned red; out of anger or embarrassment, I wasn't sure. But I hoped it was an embarrassment.

"Lord, Amelia. I am sorry, alright! I am sorry that I could not remember that I was the father, I am sorry that I couldn't make things work, I am sorry that I always make mistakes and jump to conclusions, I am sorry that I left, believe me I didn't want to and I am just bloody well, f**king sorry!" he yelled.

I looked at him like he was mad. "Ok, I get it, John," I said and turned away. "You know I am not the only problem here Amelia. You aren't perfect. It takes two in a relationship and that means you and me" I gritted my teeth.

"You think it is my fault that things didn't turn out so well! Do you think that it is my problem that you thought that I was cheating on you? What have I ever done to make you not trust me? I was in love with you! I was sitting in hospital wondering where the man loved was, why he wasn't there!

I thought that there was something wrong with you, I thought you must have been sick or something horrid had happened, but no, you were being a Jerk."