Chapter 77 - 77 - WHAT AM I?

The strange, cryptic symbols lit up one after another as Sera continued to mumble her chant. A bright, light blue, creamish sheen slowly covered the metal frame, growing and engulfing the entire door in a rapid fashion.

Eventually, as Sera completed the incantation, the glimmering, blinding light also reacted, receding back in the wall and to the metal door's frame. Still, there was a sudden change, the spell didn't fail.

The lifeless, powerless door suddenly activated, the elevator's door opened up, revealing the marble-like luxurious splendor that awaited them inside.

The gentle ring of a bell broke Lucien's bewildered daze, Sera's words brought him back to reality.

"I presume you enjoyed the show?" She chuckled, motioning for him to step inside. "Come, let's go up, the rest of shareholders, the High Elders probably have already all arrived, and are just waiting for us."

Nodding, Lucien smiled back at her, silently stepping into the elevator, still feeling slightly overcome with the variety of marvels he was subjected to in such a quick fashion.

As he leaned back against the metal wall and looked at the warmly smiling blonde woman, he was assaulted by unknown, unfamiliar emotions. Ever since he met this woman and decided to place his trust in her, his life had changed drastically. 

From being a mere test subject, an entity with only an ID and a number in the depths of some facility to having a taste of what it meant to be truly alive, his life had taken a drastic change.

Even his short, roughly half a month seclusion in that strange, another world, just served to break his understanding of the real world even further. Sub Spaces, Pocket Worlds, these so-called Edens… from what he learned, there seemed to be several of them, each hiding grand and unknown mysteries, secrets from the average citizen. 

Thinking back on his last clash against that strange divine beast, the large mythical tiger, covered in a perpetual purple flame, like a coat of fur… the strangely intelligent monkey-like creatures or just that mutated-looking nightmarish wolf-like predator, the warg. Just that small slice hid so many impossible creatures that would throw the great powers of this world, the nations upside down.

But then again, as his eyes wandered back on the back of Sera, Lucien couldn't help but wonder: How many monsters like him hid in plain sight, walking amongst the regular humans of this world? How many sat in important positions, governing larger bodies or maybe even entire nations?

Just what was up with the world? Though his last 5 years were spent in a 4-by-4 plastic white cell deep below the ground, he still lived more than a decade in an orphanage. He still learned, he still studied, even if he was hated and bullied, he was still subjected to the world. 

Everything he learned, his understanding of everything that was normal, was quickly being shattered, as these new fantastical tales were being injected into it. Sects, Cults, Monsters, Magical, Supernatural powers… 

Thinking about all these heavy thoughts, Lucien couldn't help but sigh with a wry, bitter-looking look on his face.

"Lucien? You okay?" Seeing the boy's face, Sera asked with visible concern in her tone. "Is there something bothering you? Can I help?"

Coming back to reality, Lucien took a moment to collect himself before responding. After a while, he shook his head as his usual calm, insipid, emotionless look returned to his face.

"No. It's okay, I am fine." He spoke, letting out a light cough, to regain his composure. "I was just thinking about all that happened in these last couple of days. The Lewis' Elders, my captors from before… Everything is just happening so fast, I had no time to process it, that is all."

Lucien's expression soured as he thought about the kind elderly husband and wife that was forced to suffer, just because they had the misfortune to meet with him… Their torture and suffering was all because of him. Still, despite that, neither of them held it against him, they retained their kindness and love for him even as they met the cruelest of suffering.

Seeing his expression, and feeling his mood, Sera sighed as well, stepping closer to the boy reaching out with both of her arms and gently grabbing his shoulders. 

"Listen to me, Lucien." She spoke, looking deep into his eyes. Her smile vanished, it was replaced with a stern, serious outlook. "What happened to them is NOT your fault! It was the actions of a monster, a bast*rd who doesn't care about the lives of humans!"

"But…" Lucien wanted to argue, but before he could speak, Sera lightly shook him and continued.

"No! Never ever blame yourself for the actions of those monsters! To them, the only thing that matters is to gain more and more power! To them, you are nothing more than a resource that needs to be claimed, processed, and converted for their use!"

Hearing her words, only caused Lucien's pain to grow stronger. He clenched his fists and looked back at Sera with a fierce, sullen look.

"All the more reason to put the blame on me!" He cried out, shattering the look of a collected, calm boy in an instant. His emotions that he had tucked away all the time have suddenly erupted like a volcano. "Just because of this power, this thing inside me, my entire life has been nothing but pain and suffering!"

He shouted, his entire body trembling with emotions. 

"My entire childhood was nothing but an endless nightmare. I was beaten, spat upon, tormented. I cried myself to sleep every night! Then, suddenly, before I could see the light at the end of this endless darkness, I found myself gagged and chained. My entire identity, my existence stripped from me, I have become nothing more than the plaything of a deranged demoness!" 

He cried, letting everything that he kept hidden out in one go.

"Then, when I finally see the end and was actually happy that I can finally rest and leave this cruel world, It happens! Pravitas, the MONSTER you are SO AFRAID of, wakes up, and escapes with me being just a passenger in my own F*CKING body! I killed, torn apart, and EVEN EATEN other HUMANS!" 

He continued venting, not bothering that his tears were rapidly flowing and that he was just a breath away from the warmly smiling blonde woman.

"Do you want to know how they tasted? What did I think as I chewed on their organs? Do you know how their blood tasted?!"

Meanwhile, as the boy was finally venting the tormenting emotions weighing heavily on his heart, the elevator was steadily rising, passing floor after floor as the light sound of the bell kept ringing, ignored by the both of them.

"You say that they are monsters, heartless beasts, that don't care about the lives of others? Huh?! Then what does that make me?!"

Just as his speech together with his pent-up emotions reached their culmination, the elevator also reached the top floor.

Being an elevator only used by specific, high-profile personnel, the door directly opened into the conference room where several other figures were already present, impatiently waiting for the arrival of their leader unaware of her little guest…

As the metal door opened, suddenly a powerful ancient force erupted from inside, the reinforced windows trembling, shivering, barely being able to keep their stability as the boy inside exploded with sorrow.

"WHAT DOES THAT MAKE ME THEN SERA? JUST WHAT AM I?!"

—

AN: Hello!

I don't really like to do this, but unfortunately, I need to since it is now affecting not just the growth of this novel, but also my mood and incline to invest ridiculous amounts of my time and energy to something that may not work.

I really like the world and story behind this novel. I really do. I have spent hundreds of hours building up a big mess of arcs, storylines, or just random *ss characters/groups/clans I would love to depict at some point. 

The Main Character, Lucien,  is vastly different from any other I have dreamt up or designed in the past. His past is much darker, his future is one of my favorite paradox-theories out there. He is neither good, nor bad, not 'kind-hearted', hard to trust, yet at the same time, not necessarily lost in his own edgy cruelty and self-misery.

The upcoming storylines will slowly expand the current known world, introduce a slew of characters, and also revisit some of the ones whose current situation is still unknown. 

Anyway, the reason I'm going on this seemingly endless tangent is to ask you, readers, to please spend a few minutes of your precious time and provide me with your feedback. Give a review to the novel, throw a bone (/power stone) in my way if you enjoyed it. Heck, you can even comment or just reach out to me, in a multitude of ways if you wish so! 

Just let me know that my time would not be ultimately wasted and that you, the reader are out there, interested in this modern-day, dark urban fantasy world.

Thanks!

(Note: This is the first and last time of me going on to this tangent. Apologize for those that I annoyed.)