Chapter 183 - Comfort

The sky got darker.

Iesa was peeking at the door from time to time while stiffly sitting on the couch in her living room. She was not doing anything else except just sitting there for over half an hour now.

Sometimes, she would stand up and walk to and fro. She was not worried, no, she was feeling an entirely different emotion rather than what her appearance was showing.

Ding*

The doorbell rang and it made her jolt up from her seat. But before opening the door, she looked at the mirror one last time, checking if there's anything wrong with her looks.

"Haa..."

She breathed out and smelled it.

'It doesn't smell bad, right?'

There was no reason for her breath to smell but she still checked. After school that day, she took a bath and brushed her teeth. She set up the living room as if she's expecting to meet a VIP. Not to mention her clean room.

All of this last-minute check-up didn't even last a minute.

Iesa finally opened the door and saw Teren holding a plastic bag in one hand.

"Sorry, I'm late."

He said with a smile.

"No, it's fine, I didn't even the time passing by."

Iesa unintentionally said in a coquettish manner. She didn't know that with that one action, she just lifted a ton of weight in Teren's mind. That's why he sighed and closed his eyes for a second.

"Is something wrong?"

"No, I'm just tired."

"Ah..." Iesa's eyes flashed with disappointment and worry, "if you want, you can go home for now and try to rest."

Teren was slightly taken aback by her suggestion but he didn't take it much to mind.

"Well, actually, I was thinking of resting here."

"Is that so."

Iesa immediately responded.

Teren looked at her and thought if she knew that her face went from dark to light in that one second.

"Then come in! Ergh..."

Iesa pulled him in but at the same time, she felt embarrassed that her voice unintentionally rose, hinting Teren something embarrassing.

"What did you bring?"

She asked to divert his attention. Unfortunately for her, Teren was very aware of what is in her mind.

'She must be embarrassed that she's excited.'

The reason why he can tell this is due to him feeling the same way. They've gone through almost all the ABC's in a relationship in a short amount of time, however, just seeing each other makes them excited. It was definitely embarrassing in some way.

"Donuts."

Teren said while lifting the plastic bag. With just one look, anyone could see its rectangular shape within it. Therefore, Iesa wasn't so surprised about it.

Afterward, Teren came in and got comfortable inside. They just made small talks on the way as Iesa prepared him a drink.

Once both of them were seated, Iesa asked-

"So why were you tired?"

"... I just learned that I don't know a lot of things."

In her pajamas, Iesa rested her arms on a pillow that also rests on her lap. She held the glass of cola with both hands while leaning forward.

Between the two of them, there is a space that one person can still sit on. They haven't made any attempt to cross that distance.

The television was turned off. The faint breeze outside could be heard.

"There are really a lot of things that we don't know."

Iesa replied.

"Yeah..."

"Have you thought of what's better? Knowing more or knowing less?"

Iesa asked something that anyone can answer easily. Most people wouldn't hesitate to pick the former option, however, Teren gave it some thought, aware of the underlying meaning behind it.

"It depends."

But even though he gave it a thought, he didn't take it seriously.

"As for me," Iesa glanced at Teren and continued, "I think knowing less is much much better."

"Wouldn't that put you in danger?"

Teren asked. There was no weight in his words as if he just casually asked.

"Yeah, it would definitely put me in danger. However, knowing less also means that I don't know that I'm in danger, right?"

Iesa smiled at him.

"I guess that's right."

Teren lightly chuckled in response. After a brief silence as both of them took a sip of the cola, Teren continued.

"Wouldn't that make you vulnerable? Seeing narrowly... often, does not last."

"But isn't it worth it? I mean, eventually, we need to look at the things around us but while we do not, we should embrace it."

Teren slightly frowned in ponder. This time, he was getting hooked on the topic.

"But what are the benefits...?"

"Benefits?"

Towards Iesa's doubtful eyes, Teren withdrew his question.

"Is it really worth it?"

"Of course." Iesa answered without hesitation, "It's better than not experiencing it at all!" she grinned.

This turned Teren's pondering face back to a smile.

"I see...  a short yet happy life is better than a long sad one."

"Uh-huh"

Iesa nodded and both of them laughed, realizing that their conversation just turned philosophical.

"Actually, I now have a proper answer." Teren said with a light sigh.

"To what?"

"I would choose that I know more."

"Huh?"

Iesa was a little dumbfounded by his words as she remembered her first random question. She couldn't help but ask-

"Why?"

"Because I'm aware that I will not be satisfied with my own life."

Iesa went silent, not catching up to what Teren was talking about.

Seeing her ponder about what he was trying to say, Teren felt embarrassed but since he thought she was too cute to be left unsatisfied, he continued his words.

"Once I got out of the well, it will be too late. I would want to know more from the very start to avoid anything bad happening. It's just not worth it."

Teren glanced and saw Iesa's face that says 'I still don't understand'

"Urgh... what I mean is, I'm not satisfied with just one life, my life being happy and short. Because, how can we really tell that knowing more will make life less happy?"

But that was still not enough. Teren had no choice but to whisper-

"I'm knowing more but I'm still happy."

He then glanced at her before looking down with a bashful expression.