Chapter 199 - Comfort, Emotions, And Demons

Nature, with an unexpressive face, tried to console Teren while he emits spine-chilling energy.

"You can just kill him again..."

"Your sister will understand your circumstance one day. Until then, do what you must."

Her mouth didn't stop speaking. As knowledgeable as she was about every other thing, Nature didn't know what to do but to say that she thinks that would calm Teren down.

The distance between her face and Teren's were only a little centimeters apart. She already said everything she needs to say, even though fate was not included in this incident.

Nature looked at Teren, thinking that there are things that people do when comforting others. Her hand reached out. Her actions could be said to be slightly successful since Teren was doing nothing more than staying there with his deep stare into the void.

When she was about touch his back, it was faintly slapped back.

"Sorry, but don't touch me."

Teren didn't even glance at her, putting Nature in an awkward position. It took her a moment before she realized something strange.

"You're... conscious?"

"From the start. But this weird feeling, I hate it."

"That's it."

For the first time, there was a slight smile on Nature's face. Making her beautiful face expandingly brighter.

"Did you just use this chance to trick me into saying things more than I intendedly do?"

"... unintentionally..."

Teren replied with a low voice.

"So you're no longer in rage?"

Nature's chest felt heavy. She asked this question while still feeling the dangerous energy from Teren. Does that mean he's conscious while emitting that energy?

"I still am."

"..."

Nature ran through her own mind first but before she could draw a possible conclusion to what was happening to Teren, the person in question continued-

"But Dehian's hatred is deeper than Seres'.  Dehian lives within Iesa."

Those simple statements created a deep void within Teren's chest. For him, it was hopeless and maybe, outright impossible.

And that is why...

"I have to kill that man."

Teren determinedly said while Nature looked at him with unease. Was this the right path? All for love?

It was... uncanny and that further pointed it is the right path.

- The Devil Himself -

Nature understands this very well and chose to stay silent. But because of the aura surrounding Teren's existence, she was unable to leave. Until that his emotions were resolved, she would stay there.

Million was too late. Fortunately and unfortunately.

"How long have I felt this way?"

Teren sighed and leaned back. He glanced at Nature and maybe, he thought, she was the worst person to talk to about this and that is why she's the perfect person he should say this to. An emotionless person like Nature would never be able to understand Teren.

If Teren began sharing right now, it would be the same as talking to a rock. At least that rock is beautiful, right?

"Are you thinking about something rude?"

"You felt that?"

Nature silently nodded.

"Humans are more complicated than the world itself."

She added.

"And that's why it's hard... it's also depressing... but sometimes, it's also sweet."

Teren deeply sighed as he stared into the ceiling. This somewhat baffled Nature. Sensing this reaction, and even predicting it, he continued.

"Humans like buts, that's why."

"Right... you like butts too?"

"That too but I'm talking about the contrast. Things that are perfect seemed unrealistic, unreliable, and untrustworthy. We can only believe in people that have bad sides. That's why opening up closes the distance between one another." Teren sighed while he palmed his face, "Why am I getting philosophical? Shouldn't you continue comforting me?"

"Haven't I done it already?"

"You're bad at it."

"Then, why is it that you seemed to calm down."

Nature pointed out which Teren noticed too.

"Maybe talking about the big picture puts me into at ease. In the end, it's all about emotions."

"That's why I don't understand humans even though I know a lot of things about them."

"That's the thing, you don't understand, you just feel it."

"Isn't that... stupid?"

Before Teren could speak, Nature spoke first, answering her own question-

"That's the thing... right?"

"Yeah. It's not the point but it's just that."

"Meta."

"Anyway, leave me alone. I don't think that weirdo will come back anytime. And I'm getting hungry so I have to cook dinner first."

Nature stared at Teren for a while, she nodded, stood up, and disappeared as if she wasn't there in the first place.

Just like how dusk have arrived, everything was silent again. The neighborhood was, strangely, undisturbed by anything that happened just now. A peaceful wind blew, sweeping away everything that happened.

Just like standing at the edge of a cliff. Just a little more, just a little push, just a little more misfortune, and a great disaster should've fallen before them. Yet, as a result, there was nothing out of line.

Nothing.

Teren stood up and stretched. He went to the kitchen and prepared the pan.

"Teren,"

Behind him, coming from the living room where he had just come from, a familiar voice called out to him.

"Is everything alright?"

"..."

Teren stopped his tracks and stared down at the knife he's handling.

"Not at all."

Tears dropped from his eyes again.

"That's the point."

The voice from his behind replied, heartlessly, before it disappeared.

Sniff*

Teren wiped his eyes and continued his way towards the freezer. He took out ground meat. Cold clouds came from the freezer as Teren stared at the ground meat for five seconds... ten seconds...

... thirty seconds.

Teren then went to get the garlic and onions and other spices. Pouring a small amount of liquid over the pan, he began cooking. After eating under the dimly-lit dining area, Teren went to the shower, brushed his teeth.

Looking at the mirror, he stopped.

He saw his eyes... two voids staring at their reflection.

So much had happened. How will his life go onward?

Maybe he should stop asking questions and try to answer them. Even so, that was the night for it. Because he could see them, behind him. Just like what the others fear, will he turn out that way too?

Teren continued brushing, ignoring them.

Eline had once thought that Teren didn't act upon his emotions. She was right and wrong at the same time. The reason Teren was unable to act upon his emotions is that he barely has any. When he does, he will use them as a tool.

'As long as I have control... I cannot let them get over me. Not the other way around. I will always be behind.'

After doing his nightly routine, he went back to sleep. However, after an hour or so, he was unable to sleep.

He was sweating. Teren tried to calm himself down because it will become a cycle; the more he feels the pain, the more his heart throbs and it painfully throbs.

In that way, he will never forget. Because, in his fear, that may be the last thread that connects him and Iesa.

Love was the first, and now that... he may never see her again, at least, the last thing that she'd done to him was close to his heart. So close, it hurts.

"Haa... Iesa..."

Teren whispered as he heavily breathed. His cheeks began to burn, spreading all over his body.

He couldn't sleep.

"I have to distract myself..."

With teary eyes, he opened his phone in the hope to find something that will take his attention away. Now that he opened his phone again, he saw many unread emails. Some of them... from days ago.

Mainly, they were from the group chat. There were very many updates regarding each of their missions and tasks given to them by Teren.

"... Iesa..."

But Teren couldn't help but mutter that name as he held his chest. He couldn't get her out of his mind.

He tried to scroll up and read through everything. His concentration, at best, let him read through them all. Unfortunately, he was unable to find anything that he could reply to. This left him exiting the group chat.

This led him to another 99+ messages left unread. This one wasn't a group chat. It came from a certain classmate of his, it was Catherine.

Disinterested, but desperate enough, Teren clicked on it. He unhesitatingly scrolled up and saw her first messages, asking where he is and what's he doing. Then, there were updates regarding her training and what the steps she would take next.

Since he didn't reply, Catherine took the liberty to choose her new regime. Afterward, there were a lot of audio clips.

[Lala~ lalaloo!]

A disturbing voice came out of Teren's phone when he hit play.

"She improved..."

[Yo, what are you on about? Listen to all of my audio clips and judge!]

[I'll be waiting. But seriously, in this day and age, who doesn't have their phone with them?]

[You're intentionally ignoring me, right?]

[I heard about Iesa and you... so you're a thing now. Anyway, listen to this.]

Those audio clips were soon no longer about her singing. It was just rambling as if it became a habit for her, at least that's what Teren theorized.

"You're improving."

He typed and hit send before dropping the phone onto his side.

Immediately afterward, there was a notification. Teren peeked and saw that it was Catherine's reply. It was an audio clip. If it was texts, Teren didn't have the energy to bother himself and read through them. But since it's an audio clip...

[It's one in the morning, how are you still awake!? You've missed a lot of classes, the teachers are very angry with you. Wake up early tomorrow or you'll be in much deeper trouble!]

[... and at this time in the night, did you listen through all the clips I dumped here?]

But this question was not answered that midnight.

Teren dropped the phone one final time and whispered...

"Tomorrow... maybe I'll see her...."