Chapter 33: Don't faint on your wedding night

Xi Zirui must blink up at Han Yu in shock for upwards to a minute.

Did this motherfucker just call him a 'whore'?

In the previous world he had his ways of putting Han Yu in his place, and he's not opposed to using them here too.

For his part, Han Yu takes Xi Zirui's stunned silence in a completely different way.

"Could it be that Xi-fei is simple-minded?" He actually looks a little remorseful, probably because he just called a 'simple-minded' person, a whore.

Xi Zirui is going to kill him, it doesn't matter that he's in love with him, Xi Zirui is going to turn him into sausage.

"Host, please calm down! Remember the rules of propriety and courtesy. A concubine has much lower standing than a Prince! Act accordingly," Ni Ni warns, her metallic voice ringing like alarm bells inside Xi Zirui's mind.

He doesn't know what has got her so worried, he's more than capable of rendering Han Yu to tears while using formal speech.

He drops to his knees and kowtows in front of Han Yu, something that he absolutely doesn't need to do, but he's determined to make this as uncomfortable for Han Yu as possible. "This wretched one apologizes for displeasing His Highness."

Han Yu walks backwards a few steps, giving Xi Zirui a puzzled look.

But Xi Zirui isn't done yet. "This wretched one is ignorant of the ways of the palace, and begs His Highness' forgiveness. This one wasn't aware that male members of the Imperial household were allowed to visit this humble residence before this lowly one and His Majesty consummated their marriage, and as such hasn't prepared anything to receive His Highness," he bumps his forehead against the hardwood floor and tries to disguise his hiss of pain.

Han Yu curses under his breath and waves his arms towards Xi Zirui trying to discourage him from continuing to kowtow.

If he thinks his humiliation is going to end so fast, he has another thing coming. "As no servants have yet arrived in this humble residence, this wretched one takes responsibility for any unsavory rumors that might spread through the palace in case His Highness' presence is noticed."

Han Yu goes very still. He doesn't miss the implication in Xi Zirui's words.

Presently, they're the only ones in the pavilion. What would happen if word gets out that a Prince was sneaking inside the newest concubine's rooms, not even a day after Xi Zirui married his father?

Usually a Prince's word carries a lot more weight than a concubine's, but no one in their right mind would believe that Xi Zirui was able to find Prince Han Yu inside the sprawling palace, and seduce him in the span of less than two hours.

Xi Zirui gets up from the floor and smiles at Han Yu. "His Highness needn't worry. If His Majesty asks, this humble one will just say that His Highness got lost on the way to the brothel."

He can't help that last parting barb. Ni Ni screeches something, but Xi Zirui is too busy admiring the rainbow of color crossing Han Yu's face to hear her. Currently it's wavering between pale green and mauve.

Once he regains his bearings, Han Yu gives Xi Zirui's calm face an accessing look and then bows to him again, a courteous deep bow this time.

"This prince apologizes for speaking out of turn with Xi-fei. This one's words were rude and ungentlemanly. Xi-fei may request any boon it is in this prince's power to grant and he'll give it to Xi-fei in heartfelt apology."

Xi Zirui wishes he had a fan to hide his smirk behind. Instead he flutters the billowy sleeve of his wedding robe in front of his face, in a way he hopes looks coquettish and alluring.

Han Yu might be behaving like an even bigger asshole than usual in this world, but he's still the reason Xi Zirui hopped on the damn Transmigrator 4000 again.

And unwittingly, he's giving Xi Zirui the perfect opening to see him again.

He just needs an excuse to have Han Yu around, but what?

Ni Ni chimes. "The Prince is well regarded for his portrait paintings, maybe Host could ask him for lessons."

Ni Ni, being useful? Xi Zirui can scarcely believe it.

"This humble one has long heard about His Highness' talent for portraiture. If His Highness wouldn't be opposed to it, this one would like to take lessons with His Highness."

Han Yu looks as if that's the last thing he expects to hear, but apparently, he appreciates the surprise because his elegant face breaks out in a mischievous grin. "I assume there will be servants around to chaperone us, and ensure all our interactions are appropriate."

Xi Zirui nods and bends his knees in an abbreviated bow. "Naturally." At least until he finds a way to get rid of them.

"Then it will be my pleasure to teach Xi-fei. If Xi-fei is as adept at painting as he is at conversation, I expect our lessons to be most fruitful."

Xi Zirui nods demurely, and says, "Thank you, your Highness, this humble one looks forward to resolving all the misunderstandings between us." Flickering his lashes upwards, he gazes into Han Yu's dark eyes to deliver the killing blow. "We're family, after all."

---

Han Yu leaves after that, maybe a little unsteady on his feet, if Xi Zirui can say so himself.

He smirks as he watches him wind his way through the pavilion's manicured courtyard.

Xi Zirui knows his gege.

And his gege is a kinky motherfucker.

He can't resist all the things he knows he shouldn't have, in the previous world, or any other.

And now Xi Zirui has firmly placed himself in the realm of "things Han Yu can't have." Again.

Which means he'll come running after him like a dog in heat. Predictable, endearing, and sweet.

The situation might be salvaged for now, but there's still a big problem in Xi Zirui's horizon.

And he knows just who to blame.

"Ni Ni, why the fuck am I once again expected to end up in a relationship with Su Xueyi instead of Han Yu?"

Ni Ni violently denies playing any part in the situation Xi Zirui now finds himself in. According to her, she wasn't able to tell who everyone in the Royal family is because they all look like middle-aged, balding men, on their official paintings.

"Photography hasn't been invented yet!" she says, after Xi Zirui has been screaming at her for close to ten minutes.

Eventually, they reach some kind of truce, and Xi Zirui just asks her for all the information she has on Han Yu.

Han Yu is the Eldest Prince, and the heir apparent, even though Su Xueyi hasn't officially announced him as Crown Prince. According to Ni Ni, he's planning to do this after Han Yu takes his first wife. Something that hasn't happened yet, even though at 22, Han Yu is more than old enough to take a first wife and establish a household.

Why hasn't it happened yet? Xi Zirui files this information away for later. It could prove useful to get closer to Han Yu.

His name is still Han Yu, but most of the royal household just calls him Eldest Prince, or First Prince. Su Xueyi is oddly named Han Xueyi in this world, instead of Su. Su is instead the name of the dynasty he and his family belong to.

Xi Zirui is going to continue to think of him as Su Xueyi for the time being. It's not like he's supposed to address the Emperor by his name, anyway.

Other than Han Yu, Su Xueyi has 16 other children, among princesses and princes. The youngest, a little prince, was born just one month before Xi Zirui's arrival.

Ni Ni asks him if he wants to know the names of the Empress, consorts, and concubines, but Xi Zirui doesn't have the mental fortitude for that. He'll learn the name of the ones who give him any trouble soon enough.

---

The servants Eunuch Du mentioned start arriving not long after Han Yu leaves. Most of them are achingly young. Xi Zirui hoped that perhaps this world would be different than his own in regards to child labor in feudal societies, but he guesses not.

The youngest of them all is a boy of eleven, that the oldest servant, an elderly woman called Granny Ma, introduces as her nephew Xiao (1) Gou.

Xiao Gou smiles a gap-toothed smile up at Xi Zirui and bows to him. "Xiao Gou is very happy to serve Xi-fei. Xi-fei is the most beautiful of all the concubines in the palace."

Granny Ma pales at his words, but they make Xi Zirui laugh. Children are hilarious, especially when they're embarrassing adults.

He looks around the reception room and finds a bowl of candied fruits someone must have left for him. He takes five and gives them to Xiao Gou. "Smart boys deserve a treat, why don't you and your auntie go eat these outside in the courtyard? There isn't much to do anyway."

"Your Grace, we, we couldn't," Granny Ma says, waving the candies away.

Xi Zirui pushes both of them towards the sliding doors leading outside. "It's a lovely day, the two of you should enjoy yourselves. That's an order."

Xiao Gou runs outside with a joyous laugh, holding the candies with one hand, and holding Granny Ma's with the outside.

There isn't much Xi Zirui can do as a low rank concubine, but he can at least make sure that the people working for him aren't needlessly overworked.

---

Xi Zirui sits at the low table in his room trying to distract himself with a book while some of the servants run around the pavilion making sure that everything is ready for their new master, and for the Emperor whenever he decides to grace them with their presence. Xi Zirui has tried to tell them that everything looks fine and they should just enjoy the rest of their day, but most of them aren't as easily persuaded as Xiao Gou.

The evening turns into dusk outside the oiled paper windows, and Xi Zirui starts hoping that Su Xueyi won't make it after all.

That is, until a shrill voice bellows, "The Emperor is here!" and the sound of dozens of knees and elbows hitting the floor in prostration echoes through the pavilion.

Xi Zirui gets up from his table and walks outside into the reception hall to greet the Emperor too.

Su Xueyi catches his eye as he is about to prostrate himself, and stops him. "Please, Xi-fei, there's no need for that between us. We are a married couple."

He waits awkwardly in place for Su Xueyi to reach him, and then lets himself be guided by the warm hand Su Xueyi places on his lower back.

"Leave us, we'll tend to our own robes," Su Xueyi says, to the servants trying to follow after them.

The sound of the door being shut behind them by the servants outside almost makes Xi Zirui jump out of his skin.

Great. Now how is he going to get out of this?

Su Xueyi comes up from behind him, and rubs his shoulders. "Xi-fei is tense, it's normal to be nervous during one's first time." He nuzzles into the back of Xi Zirui's neck and inhales the scent of his hair. "This Emperor vows to be careful with Xi-fei."

His broad hands travel from Xi Zirui's shoulders, down his arms, and into the dip of his waist. He runs his fingers over the sash keeping Xi Zirui's robes together and pulls at it with expert ease, unwrapping it with a few tugs.

The robe and inner robe slip down Xi Zirui's shoulders, leaving him bare save for a thin layer of underwear.

Su Xueyi turns him around in his arms and eyes him up from head to toe, a hunter admiring his prey.

He fits two fingers under Xi Zirui's chin and lifts it until their eyes meet. "My Xi-fei is beautiful all over."

Xi Zirui is starting to tremble under that hungry stare. He needs to put a stop to this. He doesn't actually want to have sex with Su Xueyi.

Wait.

He has been in a similar situation before.

Su Xueyi keeps his hold on Xi Zirui's chin and brings their faces closer, intent on bridging the distance between their lips.

Before their lips make contact, Xi Zirui's eyes roll back in his skull and he lists into Su Xueyi's chest, losing conscience as the Emperor's arms come around to steady him.

---

(1) This 'Xiao' isn't a family name, here it means 'small', Xiao Gou is a nickname and not his real name.