Chapter 45: Don't be a third wheel

Han Yu lets himself be led into Xi Zirui's room, but startles in the doorway as soon as he sees Su Xueyi sprawled across the bed.

Xi Zirui doesn't let up and pulls him inside.

"He's dead to the world," he says, kicking off his boots and dragging Han Yu in with him. "He won't wake up, no matter what we do."

"What is Zirui planning?" Han Yu asks, sounding all the while like he already knows what it is.

Xi Zirui lowers himself on the floor in a graceful sprawl, spreading his legs invitingly. "What does Han Yu think about fucking right here?"

Han Yu's eyes widen in surprise, fixed on Xi Zirui's sultry gaze and upturned knees.

The surprise fades, however, replaced by something soft an worried, not at all like the lust Xi Zirui expected to elicit. 

Dropping to his knees on the floor, Han Yu gathers Xi Zirui into his arms and pulls him against his chest, rocking back and forth on his heels as if lulling him to sleep.

Xi Zirui doesn't understand what's going on. The Han Yu he knows would never turn down the chance to have sex. 

"Has the Emperor upset Zirui in any way?"

Why would he think that? Does Xi Zirui look upset? He's not upset he's angry, there's a difference, he's, he-

"Why is Zirui crying?" Han Yu asks softly, as he runs the pad of his thumb over the tear tracks on Xi Zirui's cheek.

He doesn't know why he's crying. It doesn't make sense, he isn't even sad.

But at the same time, he's powerless to stop the tears.

The only thing he can think to do is hold on to Han Yu's shoulders and hide his face into his warm chest, letting the tears soak the front of his robes.

Han Yu cradles the back of his neck and continues rocking him back and forth, whispering sweet nonsense into his ear to soothe him.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry that Zirui is in pain." He tips Xi Zirui's chin back and kisses away his tears, brushing his lips against Xi Zirui's skin with utmost tenderness.

Xi Zirui feels unmoored by the gentleness of his actions, and ashamed of himself for breaking down like this when his initial plan was to seduce Han Yu.

When his sobs subside, he pulls away from Han Yu and tries to fix the front of his wet robes. Han Yu smiles and stills his hands against his heart.

"Does Zirui want to talk about it?"

Does he? Xi Zirui isn't sure if he knows the answer to that question, or even what he wants to say.

Being in Su Xueyi's presence is just incredibly disconcerting to him, it feels like stepping on ice and not knowing when it's going to give away beneath his feet. 

He plays his games, and puts on his act, but part of him can't avoid being terrified of Su Xueyi and all the power he yields. 

The casual way he talked about giving him a child just drove that home. 

In the end he lets out a drawn-out sigh and rests his head against Han Yu's shoulder. "I just wish...I wish I wasn't expected to be anyone's lover but Han Yu's."

Han Yu's eyes soften and he smiles sadly. "I wish that too." He leans over to brush his lips against Xi Zirui's in a fleeting kiss, soft as butterfly wings. "I wish I could have met Zirui first and taken him as my consort, my one and only spouse."

What a romantic idiot.

Xi Zirui smiles despite himself. "Han Yu is going to be Emperor one day, his first wife will become the Empress, he could never marry just me."

Han Yu shrugs and tightens his arms around Xi Zirui. "What good is being the Emperor if I can't do as I want?" 

Xi Zirui laughs at his bold declaration, hiding his snickers in the folds of his sleeve. 

Han Yu grins down at him and rubs their noses together. "Or maybe I would abdicate? Why take on the responsibilities of being an Emperor when I could lead a carefree life as a Prince in some distance province, where no one would care about the number of spouses I had?"

That's a nice idea, the two of them living quietly somewhere far away from the Imperial capital and the palace. 

Maybe Han Yu could even give up his royal title, and the two of them could live as commoners. A quiet, honest life.

Xi Zirui's chest aches with how much he wants that. 

And doubly so with how far-fetched a dream it is. 

Even if Han Yu could give up his birthright, it would be for nothing because as a concubine of the current Emperor, the idea of him having a relationship with the Crown Prince is not only morally reprehensible, but a grave sin.

Even in the event of Su Xueyi's death, Han Yu would never be able to take him as a spouse. It would invite the scorn of every minister and noble in the country, to say nothing of the public outrage.

Such a violation of filial piety would earn them both nothing but scorn.

In Han Yu's eyes, Xi Zirui sees reflected the same train of thought. Both of them examining the hopelessness of their situation.

But Han Yu's smile doesn't falter, he presses a lingering kiss against Xi Zirui's lips, taking tiny sipping nips of his bottom lip. "Zirui must know that I don't regret it. Any of it. If I was to die tomorrow I would be glad to have had today with Zirui."

Xi Zirui returns his kiss with equal fervor, closing his eyes against a fresh wave of tears that threatens to spill. "Me neither, I want everything I can have with Han Yu."

They stay silent in each other's embrace, the quiet of the room only broken by their heart's frantic thumping. 

As much as he would like him to stay, now that his mind has cleared, Xi Zirui knows it's too risky for Han Yu to stay in his room any longer. "Thank you, for keeping me company."

Han Yu links their fingers, the corner of his lip ticking up. "I only wish I never had to leave."

They disentangle, but not before Han Yu sucks a vivid bruise into Xi Zirui's collarbone, making him gasp with each pass of his tongue over his skin. "Something for Zirui to remember me by."

Xi Zirui falls asleep next to Su Xueyi with his fingers over the mark. The tenderness every time he pushes down on the purplish skin relaxes him.

Han Yu's phantom touch helps keep any nightmares away.

---

In the morning, Xi Zirui has to jump out of bed quickly to avoid Su Xueyi's amorous intentions. 

He feigns discomfort and tender hips, an excuse that makes Su Xueyi's eyes flash with satisfaction. 

A satisfaction that only grows when he notices the mark on Xi Zirui's collarbone. 

"Xi-fei looks good with my brand on him," he says, pressing down on the center of the bruise, making Xi Zirui hiss.

"Congratulations Host! Emperor's favor went up +3 points. Now at 83 of a possible 100 points," Ni Ni's rote status update almost makes Xi Zirui laugh.

This time he doesn't have to pretend when he smiles openly up at Su Xueyi. If nothing else, he enjoys the schadenfreude of seeing him excited over another man's marks of ownership on his body.

Su Xueyi finally leaves, after promising to visit him again that night.

Xi Zirui closes the door behind him cursing him under his breath.

---

For the next two weeks, things settle into a routine. Xi Zirui greets Bai Mi in the morning with the other members of the harem. Bai Mi's hostility varies according to how much of the day will be spent dealing with preparations for the wedding.

Usually in the afternoon, he's the one who actually has to deal with the wedding preparations, because both Bai Mi and Su Xueyi have roped him into it. 

Her out of pure spite, him because he considers the wedding to be something Xi Zirui cares about since it's only happening due to his intervention.

In reality, Xi Zirui couldn't care less about the wedding, and is on the verge of going insane if another person asks him his opinion between two shades of red silk ribbons that look exactly the same to him. 

His only solace are his nightly meetings with Han Yu with only the moon as their witness. Between kisses they try to arrange time among their busy schedules to see each other in the privacy of the Fragrant Spring Winds pavilion. 

Thankfully, since Han Yu's warning, Cao Fei and his stern-faced Guard Captain haven't interrupted them again.

Su Xueyi's favor continues to raise, day-by-day as Xi Zirui solves the latest wedding-adjacent mishap, and wakes up in the morning with Han Yu's finger-shaped bruises all over his body.

It never ceases to amuse him every time Ni Ni pings with a status update. 

There are no words to describe Xi Zirui's glee at Su Xueyi's smug satisfaction when he wakes up next to him, well fucked by someone else.

He's less gleeful when Han Yu asks him to chaperone an outing between Liao Min and Li Siqi ahead of the wedding.

There's nothing he can do but accept, and predictably, Su Xueyi's favor raises at seeing how well trained his little pet is.

Ni Ni informs him that the Emperor's favor is now at 94 points, but it's little consolation in the face of his babysitting duties.

---

The "outing" is really a stroll through the Imperial gardens, and afternoon tea under one of the gazebos facing the lake. 

Xi Zirui sits between Liao Min and Li Siqi feeling like the world's most awkward third wheel. 

His awkwardness is only second to the brides'.

"Lovely weather," Liao Min says, drumming her fingers over the marble table and looking out at the lake's surface. 

"Mn," says Li Siqi taking a dainty sip of her tea.

Xi Zirui fans himself harder to hid his frustration. Why can't these women just talk?

The worst part is that they clearly want to! They keep stealing glances at each other, but then look away when the other looks in their direction.

It's driving Xi Zirui insane.

"Did General Liao enjoy going to war?" Li Siqi asks suddenly, her voice breaking when she realizes what an insane question she's asking.

Less insane than Liao Min's answer, however. "Yes, I like the thrill of taking lives very much."

Li Siqi blinks up at her in confusion and Liao Min takes the fan from Xi Zirui's hands to hide her blushing face behind it.

"I mean, taking enemy lives, and fighting for our great nation," she says, stammering through the whole sentence. To Xi Zirui her clumsy attempt at explaining herself only makes her sound more like a war criminal.

Li Siqi doesn't think so, because she blushes while fanning herself, with her own fan she brought herself and therefore didn't need to steal from anyone else. "General Liao looks very fetching in her armor, I'm sure she's formidable in battle."

Xi Zirui watches in awe as Liao Min short circuits and struggles to say something, anything, in reply to Li Siqi's terrible compliment.

"I hear Her Highness enjoys reading!" It's what she settles on, her voice a full two octaves higher at his point.

On the bright side, when these two finally fuck it's going to blow their minds.

On the not so bright side, that's as much flustered pining as Xi Zirui can handle in one day.

Xi Zirui gets up from his seat and excuses himself, "this concubine isn't feeling well, but Her Highness and the General should continue to enjoy each other's company, the servants will stay here and this one will send over another concubine to replace him."

Thankfully he's able to leave before either of them calls the physician, and makes his way to his pavilion, intent on spending some time with Xiao Gou just to remind himself of what a normal conversation is supposed to sound like.

He's somewhat surprised when he walks into his room and finds someone who definitely shouldn't be there sipping tea at his table.