Chapter 96: Don't say goodbye [END WORLD 4]

The Blood Crane disciples do their best to hold back Xi Ming, but he's suffused with an inhuman strength, barreling through them like paper cranes.

He seems to be pulled towards a set destination, and it takes Xi Zirui some time to realize he's coming straight for him.

"What is he doing here?" Han Yu asks, pulling Xi Zirui away when debris fly in their direction. "It doesn't even look like Su Xueyi is controlling him."

Xi Zirui doesn't have an answer for him, but he's afraid it has something to do with the blood Su Xueyi fed him. Xi Zirui's blood.

He pulls Untold Sorrow out of his waist sash and yields it in front of his face, focusing on channeling his qi.

When he feels the energy coalescing in his dantian, he releases it with a powerful burst that sends a cyclonic wind towards Xi Ming, drawing with it all the debris his attacks have created.

The winds don't put a stop to his rampage, but they seem to hold him back, at least for now.

Xi Zirui grabs Han Yu by the hand and light-steps with him into the nearest roof.

From above they can see Xi Ming's path of destruction. He has managed to cut a swath through Blood Crane in a very short amount of time, and it fills Xi Zirui with guilt that he's here because of him.

Destroying the home of the people who have taken him and his disciples in.

"Let's go find Master Bai," Han Yu says, sparing a worried look at Xi Zirui's humid eyes. "She'll know what to do."

---

"What do you expect me to do?" Bai Mi throws her arms in the air as she paces the length of her quarters.

Ji Limei runs after her, fanning her every movement. "Shizun, don't get nervous, what if you qi-deviate?"

Bai Mi glares towards Xi Zirui and Han Yu, standing side-by-side. "That's a likely possibility."

"Why is he coming after me?" Xi Zirui asks, ignoring Bai Mi's evil side-eye.

"Your blood feeds it! He wants more of it in order to stay alive," she grumbles, looking out the window at the disciples trying to create a containment barrier. "The longer he stays without it, the greater his hunger...and his strength."

"How can we stop him?" Li Siqi asks, her eyes straying towards Xi Zirui's grip on Han Yu's hand, her mind still not totally made over the nature of their relationship.

"Well, that shouldn't be hard, if we can get close, that is," Bai Mi says. "We need to kill either the one who reanimated him, or the one who first fed him."

Xi Zirui goes very still.

The implications are obvious.

Either way, he's dead.

Bai Mi spins on her heel and points a finger in Xi Zirui's face. "He's not my problem, so you better handle this mess."

Xi Zirui nods, his mouth dry. He clears his throat. "Can I have a moment alone with my disciples?"

Bai Mi gapes at him like a stunned fish. "These are my quarters!"

Ji Limei pulls her by the sleeve, taking stock of Xi Zirui's downcast eyes and the thin line of his lips. "Shizun, let's give them some privacy and go to my rooms instead."

Bai Mi relents and follows after her, a scowl twisting her fine features into a mask of displeasure.

They hear her grumbling all the way out of the pavilion. 

"Shizun, what's happening?" Han Yu asks, worried by the shadows darkening Xi Zirui's eyes.

Xi Zirui shakes his head, trying to regain semblance of control.

As much as he told himself to be ready for this, he didn't wake up thinking it would happen today.

"Let me talk with your shijie, first," he says, letting go of Han Yu's hand and turning towards Li Siqi.

He clasps her thin shoulders. "Shizun is very proud of you," he says, smiling down at her from his slight height advantage.

Judging by her wide eyes, it's clear that's not what she was expecting to hear. 

"I know you never had any complaints regarding my teaching methods," - she mustn't have with such a high admiration level - "but I want to apologize for all the times I was inconsiderate and didn't appreciate your efforts."

She blushes fiercely, and averts her eyes. "Why is Shizun saying all this?"

"Because it needs to be said." He swallows around the lump in his throat. "Your fighting style might be unorthodox by Heavenly Dragon's standards, but Shizun wants you to know that there isn't a disciple more dedicated or more hardworking than you."

Li Siqi bites her bottom lip and lowers her head, nodding slowly. Xi Zirui can sea the teardrops clinging to her lashes.

He slides one hand into the opposite arm's sleeve, and takes out a large pearl that he presents to Li Siqi. 

"This is a pearl of immortality. It's my fault you are no longer a Heavenly Dragon disciple, and that the path to immortality is forever denied to you."

"Shizun..."

Xi Zirui drops the pearl into Li Siqi's shaking hand. "If you wish it, you can still achieve immortality, and be one with the Dao."

"This disciple isn't worthy," she says, falling to her knees in deep prostration. "Please Shizun, reconsider."

He helps her up to her feet, and smiles at her tear-stained face. "Be good, Qi-er, don't be so quick to judge others because they don't meet your preconceptions. The people in Blood Crane are good, they have helped us without asking for anything in return."

"Congratulations Host! Li Siqi's admiration maxed out," Ni Ni sighs, her voice shaking. "Ni Ni will leave now."

Xi Zirui appreciates her giving him some privacy.

The sound of the commotion outside the bamboo pavilion grows louder.

Xi Zirui closes his eyes and takes in a shuddering breath. "It's time to pay them back."

Li Siqi nods, wiping her eyes with the back of her hands, Xi Zirui pats her on the head. "Let Shizun talk with your shidi, now."

She steps away from him, and bows deeply with her hands clasped in front of her chest before leaving the pavilion.

Han Yu wraps his arms around Xi Zirui's waist as soon as she's gone. "Shizun, what is the meaning of this, why did you say those things to shijie?"

Xi Zirui lifts his hands to Han Yu's face and runs his fingers over his sculpted features, trying to commit the person he is now to memory. The long, flowing hair, perpetually slipping out of the ponytail that holds its upper half up, long wisps framing his high cheekbones. The collar of his white and teal robes, brushing the pale column of his neck.

This righteous cultivator who Xi Zirui will never see again.

He stands on his tiptoes and wraps his arms around Han Yu's neck, taking his lips in a probing kiss. 

Han Yu matches his desperation, tangling one of his free hands up into Xi Zirui's hair, winding the silky strands around his fist.

He's the first to break away from their kiss. "Shizun, please tell me what's happening."

Xi Zirui touches his forehead to Han Yu's, his chest heaving. "I'm going to put a stop to Su Xueyi's madness, but I don't know what will happen, and I want my disciples to know how much I appreciate them, should anything go wrong."

"Why would anything happen, Shizun is such a powerf-"

Xi Zirui silences him with another kiss. "I don't want to talk about that," he says, holding Han Yu's face between his palms. "I just want Han Yu to know that I'm proud of him, that no other disciple could have honored me as much as Han Yu did, does."

Han Yu's throat trembles, and he cups his hand over Xi Zirui's. "Shizun..."

"Those words came from Han Yu's Shizun."

He sucks on a shuddering breath. "Xi Zirui just wants to tell Han Yu that he loves him."

Han Yu gasps.

Xi Zirui closes his eyes, his tear-stained eyelashes trembling against his pale cheek. 

It's the first time he's telling Han Yu he loves him.

It's also the first time he has a chance to say goodbye before leaving him.

"I love you too," Han Yu says, his luminous eyes sweeping over Xi Zirui's face. "Sometimes I feel as if I was born to love you."

Xi Zirui whimpers, breaching the distance between them with another kiss. 

Their kisses taste like the salt of their tears. Xi Zirui chases the flavor into Han Yu's mouth, unwilling to let go of him, desperate to extend this moment forever.

But they must break for air eventually, and Xi Zirui must face reality.

He cups Han Yu's wet cheek, and holds out Untold Sorrow towards him. "I want Han Yu to have it."

"Shizun's spirit weapon, why..."

"No matter what happens," Xi Zirui says, silencing Han Yu's pleas with a finger above his lips. "I want Han Yu to always have a part of me."

Han Yu steps away, and looks into Xi Zirui's eyes one last time before bowing to him, Untold Sorrow clasped between his shaking fingers. "This disciple will do as Shizun says."

---

Xi Zirui doesn't dare give Han Yu another kiss, for fear it will make it impossible for him to leave.

Instead he tells him, "No matter what happens, Shizun wants you to live well," and leaves the pavilion to put a stop to Xi Ming's rampage, armed only with a small dagger.

The Blood Crane disciples part for him as he makes way through their ranks, even Xi Ming seems to calm down after sensing his presence.

Behind him, Su Xueyi hangs on to the collar around his neck with the last threads of his strength.

Even if Xi Zirui didn't put an end to this now, it's clear it wouldn't last much longer.

He rucks up one of his sleeves and makes a vertical slash down his arm, extending it towards Xi Ming, who ambles towards him at once.

Xi Ming latches on to Xi Zirui's arm with vicious thirst, drinking his fill until Xi Zirui feels lightheaded. 

"Huan Xuan?" he babbles, his ashen lips stained with blood, his gaze distant and confused. "Huan Xuan?"

"You'll be going to the Underworld to meet him soon," Xi Zirui says, raising one hand to Xi Ming's matted hair. "I'm sorry this happened to you."

He can't be certain if Xi Ming can understand what he says, but he wants to get the words out, nonetheless.

"Shidi," Su Xueyi groans, hoarse from the strain of the chain around his neck. "Why couldn't it have been me?"

Xi Zirui doesn't know if he's talking about Xi Ming who loved Huan Xuan, or about the shidi, who fell in love with his own disciple.

In any case, the answer is the same. "Not even the Gods can change a human heart, how could you?"

He lifts the dagger above his head and plunges it through Su Xueyi's neck.

Before everything goes dark, Xi Zirui sees Han Yu's chiseled profile, taking up his field of vision like a mirage.

It's enough to make him die with a smile on his lips.