Chapter 19 - You Stole My Heart

Zhe Chouhen didn't get it at first, but now he knows what he means.

"The existence of an innocent person in hell...." He stroked his chin in 'Leandro' fashion. "Means that some rules set by God are no longer applicable, or that there are ways to be broken."

"Correct." The Serpent turned to Daniele. "Dear child, you may be my only key to be reunited with my Lord. A saint like you in hell means even the greatest barriers can be diminished."

"Me? But I also didn't know how I got here." Daniele frowned. "Leandro admitted that he did mislead me into thinking I am sinful, but that was after I got here. He cannot possibly be the cause of me being here, since he is just a normal human like me. It doesn't make any sense...."

Zhe Chouhen internally sighed. (Man, every time Daniele gets so, SO close.... his trust in me as a gullible MC pushes him back far away from the truth again.)

[Yes, because he is dumb.]

(Hey, don't discredit Daniele like that. He figured the Serpent's true identity by himself and he is even getting really close to seeing past my bullshit. If it weren't for your characterization to make him as dense as a rock, I bet he'll be the most perfect smart and adorable MC---)

[Oh really? So perfect to be LOVABLE?]

Zhe Chouhen's eyes widened and denied fervently. (Nope! Definitely not enough to fall in love with! Especially by the great Big Little Brother!)

Daoist Panda narrowed his eyes, and said in the most unconvinced tone. [Good.]

He sighed in relief and went back to business as 'Leandro'. "So you want to join us in hopes that being around Daniele would get you past through the barrier?"

He placed a hand on the saintly boy's shoulder. "What do you think, Daniele? It is up to you if you'll allow him to join us or not."

Daniele looked back and forth at the Serpent and 'Leandro' hesitantly, then whispered to his stepbrother's ear. "I do feel bad about what Leviathan and Lucifer suffered but..... wouldn't their reunion cause the End of the World? They'll wag another war with God!"

"And do you think that is a bad thing?" 'Leandro' asked. "For an evil god to be thwarted by his victims?"

When 'Leandro' puts it that way, Daniele becomes even more unsure.

His companion noticed it and patted his head. "Hey, whatever your decision may be, I stand by it. I didn't mean that to dissuade you from denying the Serpent's company. If you don't like it, just say so, and I will protect you from him if he ever tries to attack us."

Daniele shifted from foot to foot. "But he is a powerful being, the one who caused sin itself! He and Lucifer are Satan! How can you possibly win over him?"

"Have faith, Daniele." 'Leandro' just gave him a reassuring smile. "I have protected you from the gates of hell to half of the bolgias of the Eighth Circle, and all that is left is the rest of it and the Ninth. Even if it seems impossible, I will never give up on protecting you from harm."

"But I don't want you to keep getting hurt for me....." Daniele's eyes start to tear up a bit. "I feel so useless, Leandro. All I ever do is get you in trouble, and suffer the consequences of those troubles for me."

(But it's not even much trouble to me at all because I have magic." Zhe Chouhen wanted to say. (And I used that magic to bring you here, none of that trouble would happen if not for me in the first place!)

But he can never tell Daniele that, unless he wants to die a horrible death and get transported to another book of the evil panda having him on strings like a puppet!

"I will.... I will let him join us. For your safety, and my safety as well. This is my only way of protecting you." Daniele decided. "I'll just have to find a way to make things end well, somehow.... oh, I'm so confused by everything that it makes my head ache! L-Let me sit down for a while....."

'Leandro' took his hand and gently sat him down, genuine worry written on his forehead.

"What happened to the delicious young lad?" The Serpent went over to them. "Did he already make his choice?"

"I will let you join us up to the Ninth Circle...." Daniele said, rubbing his temples. "But in return.... you must not harm me or Leandro. You must also keep us away from any danger that we may have in the journey. Does that sound fair to you, Signore Leviathan?"

"But of course." The Serpent smiled, that unsettling wide-stretched smile. "That was my intention anyway, Leandro is like.... well, a son to me. And since you are his husband, you are like a son to me as well."

"Father....." 'Leandro' said in the hellish language, testily.

The Serpent replied back in the demonic tongue. "What? Your husband, though fascinating, is as dense as one could get, he could not possibly get the nuances of what I say."

"Still, do not make any vague references to my identity. If you do that....." 'Leandro' sent him a deadly glare. "You will never get to see your dear Lord Lucifer again."

"Ay, how the apple had fallen so near the tree and grew exactly like it. I never expected my son to be threatening me, yet you grow up to be so evil! Just like I wanted!" The Serpent grinned happily, like he truly meant it.

He turned to Daniele and spoke back to human language. "Shall we go, then? Or are you still suffering from an ailment? Nobody really gets sick here in Hell, because you cannot get sick when you're dead. Perhaps you are truly different than the rest."

"No, I'm fine now." Daniele shakily stood up. "It's not really an ailment, I was just..... bewildered. Let us go."

And so, their journey continues, and the former two now became three.

------------------

The next bolgia, the sixth one, was for the Hypocrites.

They saw people being forced to wear a metal robe, one made of heavy gold and lead. Daniele looked at them curiously, wondering what this punishment meant.

"What does the gilded robe symbolize, Leandro?" Daniele asked.

Just as he was about to answer, the Serpent cut him off.

"Now, now. Let us let him guess, he is more clever than you reckon. I can tell." Leviathan offered. "He really has Eve's wit about him, one who observes everything first and takes his time before making assumptions. I want to see him no longer rely on you even in this simple matter, I'm sure he must be quite tired of relying on you all the time."

At hearing this, Daniele's eyes widened. The Serpent can see through everything. His cheeks flushed and he became determined to guess the symbolism of the sixth bolgia by himself.

"Hmm..... Hypocrites wearing grandiose clothing." Daniele rubbed his chin. "It must mean something about how they present themselves. And yet, this exaggerated appearance causes them to be weighed down, and they cannot go too far because of it."

He thought for it a bit and then his eyes lit up. "I got it! This must mean that hypocrites like to make themselves appear better than others, yet in doing so, they get slower and slower from reaching the path to holiness!"

'Leandro' applauded. "Well done, Daniele! You are so clever, a true genius!"

"A-A genius? You flatter me too much, Leandro....." Daniele bowed his head, but he was wearing a triumphant smile.

Zhe Chouhen could feel that he and the Serpent is walking too slow compared to Daniele. The Serpent's clothes even turned metallic for a second, but he just used magic to disperse the effects like nobody's business. This did not happen to Zhe Chouhen, but he could feel that once again, a punishment that should only be applicable to Leandro is being half-received by him.

"Yes, you did very well at your analysis, boy." The Serpent said, tongue slithering. "Though I wouldn't say this make you a genius just yet, not everyone on Earth can interpret the meaning behind hell's intrinsic punishment system. It is all based on metaphors, because god loves them."

He scoffed. "His son too, of course, with his parables and roundabout lessons, yet I suppose Emmanuel is less dislikable than his father. He is a chatterbox that never gets to the point, but at least he shows himself to people and performs miracles without bragging about it."

"You know Jesus, Father?" 'Leandro' asked him.

"Of course, I do!" The Serpent chuckled. "I tempted him to have kingdoms in exchange for joining our forces, told him to stop fasting and turn a stone into bread, and eventually to jump on a roof to see if angels will catch him. He was a pesky child, that one, he never listens and is too obedient to his father. But he was interesting, at least in a weird way, he even compared himself to a thief in the night....."

"Oh, speaking of thieves. Here we are at the next bolgia."

The Serpent pointed to the road up ahead, where many people are struggling at a pit of snakes, lizards, and other reptiles.

"I love this one." The Serpent said fondly. "Thieves get their quick hands that steal other's belongings tied up my beautiful snakes. Once they are bitten, they themselves lose their identity, and become the monsters themselves, tormenting others. And the cycle continues."

"So their punishment is getting their identity stolen, and then stealing someone else's?" Daniele said.

"Correct."

"Do you like its symbolism, then?" Daniele asked.

"No, I love it because of the snakes and my fellow leviathans, of course!" The Serpent cackled. "If it weren't for my urgent business to get to Lord Lucifer, I would have joined them in this party!"

"But would you be the punisher or the one being punished?" 'Leandro' asked.

"I am many things, Leandro, but I am not a thief. I do not take what isn't mine, only take it back if someone steals it from me first." Leviathan smiled. "That's what I am doing now. Taking back my freedom from the thief that lives in the heavens. He belongs here, and I would like to be his punisher."

'Leandro' cannot decide for a response, and so he kept his mind shut. They traveled closer and closer to the Ninth Circle, when he had a bright idea for the Satisfaction Meter to rise.

"I think Daniele belongs here."

The innocent-as-a-lamb boy was shocked. "W-Why would you say that!? I never stole!"

"Really?" 'Leandro' tilted his head. "Because the last time I checked, my heart is with you."

Daniele did not get it at first, then he frowned.

He said with a deadpan face. "You think this is funny? I almost believed you for a second there."

'Leandro' just laugh it off. "Oh, come on, heart-thief! I'm just making you aware of your crimes. You must be the greatest thief of all because you stole my heart with just a single glance."

(That was a good one, isn't it?) Zhe Chouhen rubbed his chin proudly. (Come on, roll in the numbers. I gotta earn some Satisfaction Meter from that hell of a line!)

Daoist Panda chuckled. [No, nothing changed in the Satisfaction Meter I'm afraid.]

Zhe Chouhen: "Eh???"

[Love Meter lowered by 1% though. Now it's just 86%. Congratulations. Daniele truly did not appreciate your pick-up line.]

Zhe Chouhen: QaQ!

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