36 Introspection

It wasn't meant to be like this.

Yu Yan had stayed in the orphanage for so many years and had never thought that her childish fantasies would ever come true but they did. For the past few years she had lived the pampered life of a long forgotten princess brought back to the king's castel. Though things hadn't always been smooth sailing and she had a few bumpy rides along the way, atleast she had money to throw around, people to flatter her and a backing to fall upon. Even if she was jealous of Yu Yue and had tried to trip the girl several times, she had never thought that her very own father would throw her out of the house. It was phrased as sending her oversees for further studies but who didn't know it was a polite euphemism for throwing a child away and cutting off any chances of her inheriting the company ever from now onwards.

Why was this happening when everything was turning out so well in her life? She felt agitated and furious. It was however clear enough that she couldn't turn to anyone for help. She sighed glumly while packing her bags. It had been two days since that talk with her father and she would be leaving tomorrow morning. It was so perfectly arranged that she wasn't even given time to scramble for other options. There was no way out for her from here onwards.

All of her plans were in shambles.The people she wanted to form connections with, the things she wanted to do.

An image floated in her mind of the guy that she had seen with Yu Yue that fateful day. She still didn't know anything about him. Yu Yan quickly pushed her burgeoning feelings down into her subconscious. For the moment her her dreams seemed to be just fanciful wishes. She shook her head. Thoughts of that guy led to thoughts of Yu Yue and that damnable Xun Zixi. How would the eldest miss take the news? A chilling thought entered her brain. Did she already know of father's decision before it was conveyed to her? She recalled that as soon as father had returned, he had talked to Yu Yue in the study for an hour or two that day before calling her to admonish her and pass on his decision to her. Did Yu Yue say something to provoke father to arrive at such a decision? Had she sat across from father in that accursed study and had they made the joint decision to push her off and away from here?

Things quickly escalated from there.

She was sent to an oversees University for her master's and the following two years had tested her patience. Whenever she went back to the Yu residence for holidays, the words of her peers and those madames of high society grated on her nerves and the mocking tilt of their eyes was sickening. With great perseverance, she focused on her studies. Even the remotest chance that she would join the company much later than Yu Yue meant she focused all her energy on her studies to try and outdo the girl.

She had made the decision to formally join the Yu Corporation along with Yu Yue. Already her starting line was far behind the other girl but she wouldn't let her have everything. Not even for a second could she forget that the people responsible for her situation were living comfortably back home. She'll make sure to grind them into dust underneath her feet one day.

It wasn't a total loss. She had made a few new connections which she knew would be helpful once she joined the company.

It was just a set back. Nothing more.

It seemed as if life went on, no matter what. She had completed her master's and would be returning home in a few days. Yu Yan wondered how to make the acquaintance of LiRong. In the past two years she had made it a point to go home for every holiday. She didn't want to relinquish her rights and made her presence known to everybody but hadn't been able to gain his attention no matter what she tried.

She had kept herself going for the past two years, all false bravado but it had taken a toll on her emotionally. She hated Yu Yue with every fibre of her being.It wasn't all Yu Yue's fault but she was the symbol of why she was unable to attain father's love and Li Rong's attention.

She also knew father had been looking for spouses for the both of his daughters. It wasn't blatant but she knew. He had said he would find her someone from the upper echelons of society. But Yu Yan didn't just want money. It was a must no doubt but she wanted someone who would dote upon her. She had seen how that guy pampered Yu Yue even though they were just the best of friends. So she wondered how he would pamper and dote upon the person who would share his life. She didn't want to marry someone who would at best ignore her.

No, Yu Yan knew what she wanted and that was Li Rong. Not the heir to his family business sure, but one from a family who were at a slightly higher social standing than the Yu's. He was rich, powerful and famous. Rather a brilliant combination she thought. More importantly, the person Yu Yue seemed to be so close to in recent years or infact all the years she had known her. She also wondered how Xun Zixi was fairing? Had his crush on his immediate superior passed? Didn't seem so when she last visited home a few months back. So how did he feel watching the person he loved being close to another male and forever being out of his reach?