104 Yesteryear's Memories

Zhou Sheng took advantage of her momentary distraction and snatched the wine jar from her.

"Do you really think this is wise? Have you gone daft?"

"Zhou Sheng, right now I am not in the mood to listen to your rhetoric."

Zhou Sheng knew that the words of those idiots had really hurt the person in front of him because in a way it was true.

Her trusted advisor had been about to be killed in front of this person's eyes and though she had saved him at the cost of her life, she regretted the circumstance leading up to it.

He knew nothing he said could ease her pain. So, he had to make her realise the futility of her actions in Zixi's name; otherwise, the pain in her heart would one day erupt like a volcano and corrode everyone and everything around her including herself.

He knew what he was about to say was a low blow but he tried not to let his guilt for his words show as he questioned her mercilessly.

"Do you think the person you love and cherish would want you to be like this? You are the strongest person I have ever met. Not physically but emotionally and psychologically. Why is it that those words can break you to pieces?"

Su Li replied with a great wrenching laugh, "Zhou Sheng, Zhou Sheng, how do expect me to be strong? My entire life, the central pillar of my support system collapsed in front of me. Even if I want to, I can never forgive myself for what happened back then."

"Why? Why do you blame yourself? Instead, you did everything in your power to cut a retreat route for him, so why is it that you can't forgive yourself?"

Su Li gave a dry, broken chuckle at those words and tried to speak above the lump in her throat.

"It's not about that. Don't you understand, Zhou Sheng? Don't tell me you still can't figure out what that day meant for me."

Zhou Sheng felt perplexed at her words and looked at her in confusion.

Seeing his apparent confusion, Su Li snorted and with a voice that was barely a whisper disclosed.

"Zhou Sheng, you always harp on about the fact that I knelt and kowtowed in front of another person to share that person's life but have you ever remembered anything else about that day?"

Zhou Sheng could feel his heart racing and knew that whatever words would be spoken next would change things irrevocably about their shared history.

He also noticed the strained atmosphere around them and some distant corner of his mind noticed how the Head Commander of Shadow Guards had called the four Shadow Guards that had been given to him and asked them to not let anyone enter this particular street and to respect them to other directions.

All of them could feel the tension in the air and he knew that neither of them was in the right state of mind to engage in a battle of words of whatever this was because of all the drink they had had the entire evening.

For a second, he wanted to forget everything and just go back to a few minutes prior when they were all laughing and joking around.

But he knew that this was important.

It wasn't about him.

It wasn't even about Zixi.

It was about Princess and her own feelings and truthfully, he should have seen it a long time in coming.

The question lingered in the air but seeing the hopelessness and raw hurt on the monarch's face made his heart clench painfully. Find authorized novels in Webnovel，faster updates, better experience，Please click www.novelhall.comfor visiting.

"I don't care about what I had to do. I would do it all over again. I don't care that I got hurt or I had to give up my self-esteem. What makes me bleed inside is that everyone lied to me for years."

Her cheeks turned red as she spoke the words that she had kept in her heart all this while and looked seconds away from hurting into tears.

Meanwhile, Zhou Sheng was flummoxed by her words.

He took a step back as if that would save him from whatever storm was coming and he knew it would be a storm from the well of emotions in Princess's eyes.

He stuttered, "Wh — What do you mean?"

Su Li looked so sad and subdued as if the earlier words had entirely sapped the entire energy out of her.

Her demeanour was more worrying than her words.

"Explain it to me. I — I don't understand what you are saying. Do you doubt that I knew about it beforehand and didn't tell you?"

Su Li shook her head in denial.

"No, actually, I hadn't even thought of asking you for help when it all happened. I had been preparing to call father for backup but the message went to you."

Su Li went quite at those words and seemed to be lost in her own thoughts.

Zhou Sheng hated that he couldn't open Su Li's brain to know what she was thinking because he hated this slow back and forth.

Still, he gave her the time she needed to collect her thoughts and tell him her thoughts at her own pace.