Chapter 136: 4.49

After a moment of silence Pan Shuchun and Ye Cheng stepped up and was forced to mediate. It couldn't be helped. Jin Bao had directly turned his back on the gift, not wanting to look at it even for a second more. 

He wanted no part in this shame play!

The dragon had been a little surprised at the jade sculpture but the more the third prince talked the uglier the dragon's little dragon face looked until he couldn't bear to face it anymore. Tang Muxin was also similar, and her abilities in eloquence were really only so-so, it was hard for her to think of a tactful way to decline a clearly expensive and valuable gift without blurting out what was running and screaming through all their minds. 

The third prince was sensitive and insightful, he was probably one of the brothers with highest EQ. No matter how he looked at it the group greatly disliked his gift. The fact the priestess didn't even bother to talk to him, and let her servants do so instead suggests he might've really offended them.

However the problem was… he didn't understand why!

A beautifully carved dragon created by an artist no less famous and brilliant than the second prince's idol. While the artist didn't burn their art, the dragon jade it was made from was enough for the sculpture to be priceless. 

Generally dragon jade has been said to have a lot of healing properties and spiritual energy. All dragon jade has been found surrounded by greenery and life. There was even a story about a group of foreign merchants who had gotten lost in a desert traveling here and only survived by stumbling inexplicably into a large forest area. In the heart of this small mysterious forest was a small clear pond, only a few meters wide but surprisingly very deep. 

The merchants came from a coastal country and were proficient in diving for pearls and other oceanic treasures and delicacies. After some deliberation one of the older and more skilled at free diving jumped into the pond to see what was hidden in it's depths.

When he came back up he recounted there was a large faintly glowing stone that should be jade at the bottom of the pond that was as wide as his two arms outstretched. He wasn't sure the height though as it was too deep and cramped to keep going. What was even more shocking was that in those few minutes in the water, after coming up he became noticeably younger and more handsome!

The merchants had to travel a lot under the dirt road and hot sun to sell their wares. Not to mention sunscreen was not a thing that existed so it's undeniable that the skin will burn and wrinkle making the men look older and less attractive then they should've been. However submerging themselves in the pond water rejuvenated their bodies, cleared the dirt in their pores, revived the dead hair and cells and so on.

It was said when they came, not only did they break off a piece of glimmering blue jade as proof, the entire group were also brimming with handsomeness, youth and vitality to the point where people mistook them for a performance group instead of merchants. 

The point was- the sculpture has magical properties even now! As long as you keep it in your courtyard there will always be flowers in bloom and nearby fruit trees will always produce full and juicy fruits! If you keep it inside the house the people living there will feel more energetic and refreshed, look more youthful and their bodies and brain will become healthier. 

In short it was millions of times better than the second prince's painting which was only a cheap vase* in comparison!

*vase = beautiful on the outside, empty on the inside. All looks no substance. A pretty but useless thing. Typically used to describe handsome/beautiful actors that can't act for shit. 

No matter how aggrieved the third prince was he could only smile and back down, silently hoping that another prince would mess up worse than he had.

The fourth prince was mediocre and is said to have some hearing problems, and occasionally talks to himself in a strange manner. However his music ability was pretty good as he produced many interesting songs never heard of in this world, so his gift was to dedicate a song to the guests. 

"This song… is called Little Apple." The fourth prince brought out some dancers and some musicians as he prepared his own guzheng*. 

*a Chinese string instrument that's a mix of harp and zither. Very similar to the better know guqin. The essential difference is that the guzheng features around 18 or 21 moveable bridges underneath its strings, where the guqin has none. I don't know what bridges are (music isn't my expertise) but Im sure someone can explain.

Transmigrators Jia Hyson, Tang Muxin and Pan Shuchun: It can't be…

As they finally got ready a very familiar beat began to start, accompanied by the light and playful sounds of the guzheng.

The fourth prince opened his mouth and began to sing to the cheerful and energetic music as the dancers moved energetically. 

"I planted a seed,

And finally it bore fruit,

Today is a great day~"

Transmigrators Jia Hyson, Tang Muxin and Pan Shuchun: Holy fuck it's really Little Apple**.

**Most people who read enough Chinese webnovels have probably heard this song in passing a few times. It's by the Chopstick brothers, which was originally released as a promo song for a movie in 2015 and became a big hit online as an internet meme with many parodies etc. It's a super popular karaoke classic now lol. There's even a video of the PLA (People's Liberation Army) officers dancing to it. Search the song up (but not the official music video that is a fucking trip bruh, watch the lyric /dance ones first). If you still can't comprehend it's popularity it was probably just as, if not more, popular than the pen pineapple apple pen song/meme? 

It had been a while since they transmigrated but Little Apple was a song that was practically carved into their brains when it went viral. During that period of time long as you used an online social platform, listened to the radio, went to karaoke with friends or go past places with video advertisements there would be Little Apple. 

Even though there was an inevitable difference with the use of ancient instruments, it was a catchy song that could immediately be recognized to any born and bred Chinese. 

Despite the feeling of incredulity there was an inexplicably greater feeling of nostalgia and grief. Even Jia Hyson, who was on his fourth world felt it. 

It can't be helped. The ancient world was too! Fucking! Boring! 

Even if he has unlimited wifi, in order to maintain his cute 'meng selling but not to the point of being a complete moron' character he couldn't just use it whenever and look like he was dazing out all the time. Not to mention in a situation where there was a relatively small amount of people with good relationships and keen observation abilities it was easy for them to notice. Therefore he could usually only use this sort of benefit when it was time to sleep, or when he has a nap. 

But it was easy to go from poverty to luxury than it was to go from luxury to poverty. From having access to the internet 24/7 to only an hour or two at most, was really hard for the phone addicted Jia Hyson. 

He was a fast reader but there was only so much one could absorb in a few hours. Plus, looking at any pictures or webnovels about modern times would immediately make Jia Hyson jealous and a bit grief-stricken. 

The modern conveniences he would be constantly reminded of! The various options of entertainment he took for granted! Going to the cinema, watching a musical, eating western food, using a toilet with a plumbing system and a flusher, going to a convention and so on… fuck he even misses the annoying people who force flyers onto you when you walk on streets that are actually paved with cement instead of dirt and shit. 

However if Jia Hyson was just feeling it, Pan Shuchun and Tang Muxin was overcome by their emotions. After all they didn't have any access to the modern world like Jia Hyson, only their memories. Therefore this unexpected taste of a life they could no longer live, really hit the usually strong women hard. 

When the fourth prince finished, everyone was shocked to see the women and even the little dragon crying. A beautiful women's tears was always a sight to behold, making it easy for any man to soften their hearts under the sight but unfortunately they were sitting by a dragon who was shedding tears of literal gold.

Pan Shuchun and Tang Muxin: …Feeling a sudden sense of defeat. _(:3」∠)_ 

"You're beautiful music has moved us all," Tang Muxin declares after wiping away her tears and collecting herself. "It is truly a wonderful gift you have given us, we hope to hear more in the future."

Duan Mengyao and Ye Cheng who were neither very artistically inclined nor have any emotional link to the song: …was it really that great?

Third Prince whose super precious gift was snubbed and was considered worse then some song: …Fuck your mother.

The playboy fifth prince brought three beautiful servants, two maids and a eunuch which were accepted under some discussion. Pan Shuchun felt they would be good to train up to be customer service.

The beautiful servants who were used to using their face to eat* suddenly felt a deep forebodingoding feeling in their bones.

*use their looks to live well. Like a model, or host.

Jia Hyson who had experienced the horror that is being stuck in a retail job, couldn't help but give the servants a sympathetic look. After all, they were pretty much going to be in customer service hell for a very long time indeed.

The crybaby sixth prince did not have an idea what to bring as a gift because he had mainly been panic crying before coming here. In the end he could only embarrassedly bring in three chests full of gold and some rolls of beautiful silks. "I-I'm sorry," He sniffles, "This one will think of a better gift next time."

The third prince sneers. What a fool. Everyone else was also muttering and whispering discontentedly, some were gloating, some pitying and some full of condemnation. Gold and silk were nice but it wasn't exactly precious. Was he looking down on the dragon and the dragon priestess' group? 

Even the second prince who was close to the sixth prince frowned, worried and a little disdainful. After all, the second prince aspired to take the scholarly route, and scholars greatly disliked merchants and their smell of copper*.

*Smell of copper just means people who deal with money a lot, usually associated with greedy people. Scholars and merchants don't get along, with scholars looking down on merchants and merchants disliking their hypocritical and pretentious arrogance since scholars act like they're above money despite needing a lot of it (books/ink are expensive). Kind of like elves and dwarves in fantasy. 

"Just gold and some silk?" The third prince gleefully pointed out, his voice was full of concern and suprise but inwardly he was delighted. Finally! He will not be the only prince who fucked up! "Are sick? Dare to give that to great dragon and it's followers? Do you think they are like concubines so easy to please? I-"

"We love it." Tang Muxin, Pan Shuchun, Ye Cheng and Duan Mengyao immediately said in unison. Ye Cheng was even wiping the drool off his face as he stared wide eyed at so much money in one place. Jia Hyson also expressed his happiness by 'mrp'ing and raising his hands in the air and waving them excitedly.

Money! Silk fabrics! Can sell! Can splurge! 

Sly third prince: Fuck I forgot these guys were originally merchants. 

Any top tier noble would disdain the amount of gold offered but almost everyone had forgotten these people before them were not lofty aristocrats or pretentious scholars but relatively poor businessmen who traveled here with intent to establish a shop. Only the crown prince really utilized this angle, but even he didn't expect you could achieve an even better effect by just simply smashing these guys with money!

After the sixth prince should be the seventh prince but he was mysteriously not here. The emperor pursed his lips disapprovingly and a little confusedly while stroking Jia Hyson's mane. The seventh prince was the one who loved dragons the most, it was strange he wasn't here. Could it be, because of overexcitement the stupid child fainted? 

It was totally possible. After all the maids were too scared to check on the crazy prince often anyway, they might have completely forgot due to all the panic and anticipation. 

The emperor gestured for a guard to go check on the seventh prince. With the seventh prince not here, and the eighth prince faking his death, that left the coquettish ninth prince as the finale.

The emperor: '…Ah, maybe I should have thought about the order beforehand.'

The ninth prince was of course cheeky and sly, showing signs of high intelligence and EQ, but he was still very childish and young at only 11 years old. His main strategy was selling meng and having a sweet mouth. Maybe due to how pampered and young he was, the emperor couldn't think of a situation where the ninth prince actually had been in a situation where he had to prepare a proper gift or tribute to others so it was inevitable the emperor was a bit worried. 

To be honest it was probably more gold, which clearly the dragon followers would be very satisfied with. However because the sixth prince had just given the same thing, it would inevitably make the ninth prince look bad by this virtue alone.

Even if it wasn't planned, and nobody was in the wrong, the person who produces the same gift right after another person will always give the faint impression that they copied others. At the very least the impressiveness the second time round would definitely be halved. 

There were many other ministers and officials also thinking the same. In fact there were quite a few who were even more concerned than the emperor. After all the ninth prince was showing strong potential and had the favor of the emperor and empress. The crown prince was a bit too tyrannical and brash, the second prince was pursuing the scholarly route and will not make good decisions due to his pretentiousness, the third prince was okay but is a bit hard to inspire trust with his deep thinking, the fourth prince is mediocre except for musical ability which is still pretty useless, the fifth prince is lecherous, the sixth is… no, the seventh is… hell no and the eighth is dead. 

Therefore- these officials who are still on the fence or are just unsatisfied with their options can only pin their hopes on the ninth prince! 

The kingdom can still be saved! The little prince can be educated! It doesn't have to be run by some pervert or pretentious prick! 

The perverted and, or, pretentious princes: …heh.

Unfortunately the little ninth prince could not hear and probably did not care about this. In his mind, if he had to fight for the throne then wouldn't he have to fight his way up to the top? His elder brothers had the advantage of being born first and already establishing themselves. If you throw a stone randomly in the palace you could guarantee it would hit one of his brothers' people. 

Besides, wasn't it better to be cute and then grow up to be an idle king* instead?

*The emperor is the emperor. However if there are still brothers alive, they are usually assigned the role of king and are given their own fief to watch over. 

Still, the ninth prince's thoughts about being the emperor aside, that didn't mean he wanted to offend the dragon and it's small convoy of followers either. In fact he desperately wanted to bring them to his side. 

As said before, he was young and therefore the number of followers he had was very small with most only considering supporting him or taking him as a last resort. His maternal family was neither too big nor too small. Therefore the most important thing to secure his little life was to find a big golden thigh to hug!

Therefore even if his most annoying oldest brother the crown prince becomes emperor, the ninth prince can still be confident in being able to continue living his salted fish life of luxury! 

So he has prepared the best gift of them all!

Stepping up he gives the group a dazzling smile that maximised his youthful charm to the maximum. "This prince has decided to gift you… this prince!"

Emperor: …

Princes: …

Officials and ministers: …

It's over. This shameless stinky brat really deserves a spanking right now.

Unperturbed, the ninth prince thickened his cute chubby little face and continued, "My family is not as strong as the others but I have many uncles and aunties that can help you with administration and business matters that would usually be hard or time consuming processes without inside help. That is why I think the best present is myself who is willing to help you as best as this prince can."

After some contemplation everyone realised what this was.

If a favour is something with the expectation of giving and taking, the ninth prince is offering his entire family's help for absolutely nothing. Because it is a 'gift'. And a gift has no obligation to be returned with another gift. It is simply a selfless show of loyalty. 

Not to mention the ninth prince's family were full of government workers. Nobody would dislike their forms and such being processed faster after all. 

The moment people understood this, their gazes toward the ninth prince changed from disdainful to thoughtful. 

The third prince who has half gloating, half relieved, immediately had the expression of a dead fish with nothing to live for. It was over. He was the only prince who didn't get their gift accepted in front of so many people. It would be hard for everyone not to think deeply about this, and his position will definitely not be so stable in the near future.

Pan Shuchun and Duan Mengyao who was more familiar with the basic backgrounds of the princes nodded at Tang Muxin in approval. Tang Muxin didn't even hesitate to accept after getting confirmation from her friends. 

Smiling even wider, the ninth prince was just about to step down when the doors to the hall slammed opened. 

A large muscular handsome man, with bright brown eyes that seem to shine with a faint golden light at certain angles, strode toward the front of the room. Following a few steps behind him was a mild looking middle-aged chef with his head down respectfully. In the chefs hands was a large bowl with a cloth on top, but even the cloth could not cover the mouth-watering savoury aroma that caused every single person's mouth to instantly fill with saliva. 

"Greetings to emperor father!" The muscular man cups his hand and shouts loudly, before immediately setting his eyes onto Jia Hyson. There was a flicker of shock in his eyes, before it morphed into an almost crazy fanaticism that Jia Hyson had really only seen when he accidentally pushed his stalkers and yandere-inclined lovers over the edge. If he had human skin, he would probably have broken out into goosebumps. 

Unlike the rather causal cupping of hands and greeting, the man, who could only be the seventh prince, rushed over and kowtowed at Jin Bao. Such a demeaning posture that no prideful noble, much less a prince, would do unless being forced to death, and the seventh prince did it so willingly and without hesitation. "GREETINGS TO THE GREAT DRAGON LORD!" His yell was full of energy and exuberance and some other emotions that were hard to identify. "APOLOGIES FOR DISRESPECTING YOUR GREAT SELF AND MAKING YOU WAIT!"

Jia Hyson felt a little embarrassed at this intense man. Even if he was very handsome, a rugged warrior with bright eyes and a wild temperament, Jia Hyson didn't really like overly loud people. 

Da Gong also sensed how his little worm seemed to dislike the noise. However the fancy dressed old human that his worm was sitting on smelt like illness and weakness, and probably could not take his weight if he suddenly jumped onto him. Therefore Da Gong stepped in front of the seventh prince and raised his wings, trying his best to block as much of the sound for his little worm as possible. 

Jia Hyson: This cock is too good for this world. (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)♡ 

Bebe: (¬_¬) That cock is too good for you at the very least.

Jia Hyson: Hey.

Jia Hyson: Any cock would be lucky to meet me :)

Bebe: 눈_눈

The seventh prince had a split second of confusion before quickly accepting the presence of the abnormally large rooster. It could be seen from this his flexibility was quite good. "Mister rooster, have I offended you? This one apologises."

It could also be seen from this, that the seventh prince was indeed more than a little strange in the head. Most normal people would not talk to Da Gong, whether because of his fierceness, size or the fact he was a rooster. Even then, they would start off talking to Da Gong like how everyone starts off talking to an animal- softly, tentatively, coaxingly, with some baby talk mixed in for good measure, similar to how one subconsciously talks to an infant. 

It was rare for someone to not speak with some condescension to an animal for the first, and impossible to find someone who, at first meeting, not only confidently talk to an animal like an equal but even with formal language. 

No matter how much you love animals, think they are better than humans, or are just the most active animal activist in the world, one couldn't deny that humans and animals are different and unequal. Whether we are considered better or worse the value is never the same and it's something that will probably never change. Because there is a clear communication barrier between us and animals that will probably never be able to be bridged. This fact is ingrained in us and will subconsciously cause us to treat animals at best, on the same level as babies. And that's normal.

Treating an animal you just met like they could comprehend language was not. 

It was kinda weird.

But also kinda hot.

Bebe: 'Are you only saving that because he's got a good looking face and is large and muscular and tanned?'

Jia Hyson: 'I bet if run my tail down his abs they'll make a noise like running down a xylophone hehehehe.'

Bebe: …

On the bright side, the dragon encyclopedia said that increased horniness and decreased aggressive and violent thoughts shows that a dragon has a higher chance of healthily starting the process to the first steps of puberty. So better dirty thoughts than… the thoughts of wanting to make murder treeholes in humans ah. 

Bebe felt very stressed as it secretly tries to raise its dragon host to grow up well. Like many magical creatures in romantic stories, the species with a long lifespan will actually have a short childhood period, then a long teenage period and will stagnate for most of the lifetime as a young adult. 

A very good example of this is vampires. Another one is magical animals that can turn into a hot human form inexplicably because of reasons. This way it makes it easier for people to ignore the more disturbing facts of any romantic relationship with them like the ten thousand year old age difference between vampire and sixteen year old girl, or the pedophilloic connotations between a two year old were beast gong and a thirty year old businessman shou. 

The dragon species in this world also follows this route. In fact it was also a form of survival. After all the dragons start off so small as babies and there's a lot of predators so the need to grow up is very urgent, especially since the birth rate is so low. Therefore in the most optimum environment the baby dragon can gain awareness and intelligence very early, and will start to mature after only three or so months. Their uncontrollable power and skills they had access to at birth will slowly be controlled during the puberty process and once the dragon has fully grown into adulthood could they use all their abilities and power freely.

Jia Hyson did not have the luxury of the optimum environment of heaven. 

Therefore his growth was stunted and worrying. And it was up to Bebe to worry about it as a responsible system. 

Bebe was in charge of reminding Jia Hyson of when to drink supplementary spiritual energy to strengthen his body, scanning for any spiritually dense ingredients to get Tang Muxin to cook with and generally just observe his energy levels to try encourage Jia Hyson's growth phase as best as they can. This period was very important, like most periods of puberty, it will severely affect the physical and physiological form of the dragon as well as his use of abilities and power. 

Speaking of scanning for spiritually rich ingredients… 'Hey, host, Bebe doesn't know how the seventh prince did it but, you should definitely accept his gift ah. Whatever is in that dish actually contains thrice as much spiritual energy than Tang Muxin's best dish.'

Jia Hyson's ears perk up at that. 'Eh? No way!'

However after opening his senses a little and focusing on the thing in the servant's hands he found to his shock it really was so. While he can't get the exact stats like Bebe, his instincts were now urging him to swallow that bowl whole now that he bothered to pay attention. 

His previously relaxed pose suddenly becomes tense in anticipation. It was impossible for the emperor, who he was sitting on, and Da Gong, who was always paying attention to him, not to notice. Immediately they straightened their backs and glanced around warily. 

For the emperor he felt like if a dragon was tense it must indicate there was evil intent somewhere. However for Da Gong, it was simply because anything that causes his little worm to be unhappy is simply the true evil that needs to be beaten up by him. 

Seeing the dragon's tail start to slowly wag, picking up speed very quickly like an excited puppy, their icy vigilance from Jin Bao's sudden reaction was quickly lowered. 

Emperor and Da Gong: Oh, he was just hungry. So cute.

Both rooster and son of heaven were surprisingly in sync. 

Seeing the dragon's reaction was so good, everyone looked at the seventh prince, who was still bowing, with different eyes. It was a mix of surprise but with a faint sense of, 'ah, this was expected'. 

After all, the seventh prince has long established that he was 'dragon crazy'. It would be stranger if he didn't have an idea on how to please a dragon. But the dragon's reaction was really quite big. It had aroused everyone's curiosity about what was under the cloth that excited the creature so.

Even though it smelt delicious could a dragon really be bought with mere food? 

But the more they thought about it the more they realised this 'crazy' prince might have actually done something amazing!

The seventh prince had grown various produce since he was fifteen because he believed that as a true dragon warrior he had to have the juiciest and most freshest ingredients. Something about the purity of the soil and water and how he wished to eventually shed off his human form and ascend to the fairy land. 

Obviously… Who the fuck didn't think that was nonsense at the time? Every other prince asked for an opportunity to show their skills, or a concubine or some sort of treasure, but only the seventh prince chose to ask for a few acres of land to farm and build a temple to worship the dragon spirits. 

But now?

Now dragons were real! 

What nonsense? What crazy? Clearly the seventh prince was a genius! Blessed! A true son of heaven!

Suddenly many people were considering switching their allegiances. After all, the favour of a dragon must be just as, if not better than, the favour of the dragon emperor right? Therefore the prince who specialises in dragon lore, has great military value, and was not totally stupid if they ignored the whole dragon fanaticism thing, should be a pretty strong contender for the throne? 

The crown prince and third prince, who had been the ones fighting the hardest to win the throne could also easily understand the implications as well and their expressions had become a little ugly.

Seeing that everyone couldn't wait, the emperor coughed pointedly.

The seventh prince understood and stopped kneeling, standing up and smiling brightly. Jia Hyson wagged his tail harder at the sight. Aiyah! Out of all the princes, the seventh prince might just be the most his type~! 

Da Gong: (ಠ ⊝ ಠ) Suddenly this big human has gotten really annoying to look at. 

"This is Chef Wu, one of the best chefs under my hand." The seventh prince proclaims confidently. 

Chef Wu doesn't raise his head, it seemed like the seventh prince was surprisingly quite strict with the etiquette ingrained into his servants. Then again, no matter how much of a brash warrior the man looked, he was considerably religious and would be more inclined to be more fastidious and pedantic about various matters. 

The emperor however smiles warmly down at the chef, "You brought in Chef Wu, no wonder you took so long." He teases, "Nonetheless his work is worth the wait. I believe our dragon friend will not be disappointed."

Jia Hyson's eyes flash. The emperor seems very familiar with chef Wu. He didn't forget the emperor was revealed in the original book to be poisoned by a chef. It.. couldn't be..? 

"This lowly slave is flattered. This slave can only apologise for the delay and rush and offers the great dragon one of my specialities- Dezhou braised rooster in bone broth porridge." Chef Wu announces solemnly, his voice was slightly raspy but deep and warm. 

It was like a kind handsome uncle voice. Jia Hyson's ears twitch in faint enjoyment. The voice itself wasn't as good as the handsome uncle voice of the emperor's but the emperor's baby talk toward him ruins his handsomeness by at least six points. 

Seeing Jia Hyson's tail hasn't stopped waving, Tang Muxin made the executive decision. "Bring it to Jin Bao." She commands coolly.

"Of course priestess. This servant obeys."

Chef Wu walks towards the emperor and Jia Hyson, careful not to spill a single drop in the dish. As he reaches toward them, it was inevitable that he had to lift his head to accurately pass the food to the emperor who would feed the dragon. And it was impossible for the chef not to be curious about the dragon when he was so close.

Jia Hyson was also a little curious about Chef Wu for a few reasons, so when the chef looked up, they both were caught staring at each other. Chef Wu, a little flustered quickly looked back down and passed the bowl toward the emperor's free hand before quickly going back to his place behind the seventh prince.

Jia Hyson for his part, had stopped wagging his tail.

All he could recall was seeing Chef Wu's pitch black eyes.

----

A/N: So. My grandma has passed away this week hence why I didn't write last week since I was by my grans side most of that time. It's still hard but we had a lot of time to mourn I guess so I'm better than I thought I would be right now ah. 

Hopefully my schedule will return back to normal soon~ Please show support through ko-fi donations and reviews please~ :3

Also~~ Didn't see that coming did you? Yang gong finally appears! Woo!

Muah~ Love you all~