Chapter 113 - Jiang Ying Yue (9)

The next day came yet Jiang Ying Yue couldn't wake up due to being trapped in a never-ending nightmare. 

The fire was devouring her world. She was dying. She could see herself struggling to breathe while her body was being engulfed by the fire. Why couldn't she leave? Why was she trapped in that room? No, it was not even a room, but a cage... Why was she being watched, pointed at and being cursed to die by hundreds of thousands of people? 

Jiang Ying Yue felt very scared and confused, and her heart was aching so much. She was suffocating, feeling as if the world was intentionally depriving her of air.

She couldn't understand why nobody was helping her and freeing her from her sufferings. What did she do to deserve this?

The same questions kept playing in her mind. 

The images flashing in her mind changed after she saw that haggard, old-looking 'her' breathing her last… and beheaded before a cheering crowd. 

She could no longer hear the deafening joyful laughter, at last.

The pictures that replaced the fiery yet spine-chilling scene were those 'she' experienced from childhood. Apart from the banquet part that went a bit different, everything coincided with her own…

'My beloved daughter, no matter what happens in the future, always remember my teachings to you and you'll be fine.' 

Her gentle and beautiful mother's equally gentle and beautiful voice rang beside her ears, sounding more pleasant than the wind chimes hung up in the ancestral hall's door. 

'Do you remember?'

A young version of her appeared in her field of vision, snuggling close to the late first madam of the Jiangs. In her mother's arm, she appeared so small, age perhaps only seven years old. Cute. Bubbly. A confident kid loved by the world due to being the Jiang Clan's first legitimate miss. 

That naive, lovable kid cheerfully answered the mature woman, 'Mother, I do. The three obediences are, obey your father before marriage, obey the husband when married, and obey the son once widowed. Four virtues are to be proper in speech, behavior, demeanor, and employment.'

The proud and confident voice of her child caused a small smile to form on the woman's lips. Her hand automatically went to rub her daughter's head, prompting the child to grin proudly and widely to her mother. 

The golden rays of sun pouring into the elegant traditional-styled room through the open window made the scene looked so blinding yet warm. Jiang Ying Yue felt like crying and reaching a right hand out to it.

The kid back then thought that what she recited was only homework she had to do well so her mother would allow her to eat delicious snacks. 

Most children were like that. In their childhood, they don't understand more than half of what they were asked to be memorized. They only knew if they recite those well, they would receive some rewards. 

She used to be like that too, a child always looking forward to the candies and cakes her mother would give her if she did well in her studies. Sometimes, her motivation to finish her homework was so she could have time to play with her toys. Or perhaps fool around with her siblings and maids.  

The world was so simple back then. Until she matured and realized that her mother, who passed away when she was eleven years old, only drilled all of those into her mind for her future, because she was betrothed to Rui Wang, and that her mother already foresaw her passing. 

When her mom died, her life in the Jiang estate changed drastically. And no amount of crying managed to turn it back.

To be honest, in the last six years, it was very hard for her to adapt. From being a loved princess to a neglected daughter. The blow to her was quite harsh, especially since she discovered people were only cozying up to her due to her mother's influence and authority. Now everything of those was held by the beloved and highest-ranked concubine of the marshal. 

Her father doesn't love her. Her maternal relatives couldn't interfere much. She was seen as weak and meek for adhering too strictly to the first madam's teaching. 

These were what she got for doing her best to obey her father the Marshal even when all his good thoughts were only for the second madam and her children. 

At first, she only became quiet due to grief. Until the entire reason became her lack of self-confidence from the repeated bullying and lack of response from her father and other relatives she cried justice to. 

She suspected her situation would have become worse if not for the late Emperor's edict promising her to the most favored prince of the current Emperor.

The hardsh.i.p.s Jiang Ying Yue faced was actually not much different from the original Sheng Lingxin. But their difference lies in the latter's luck to be favored by the world and be the winner in life the moment she met her fated lover. 

Jiang Ying Yue was not as lucky. Since eleven, the girl's only motivation to improve and persevere was the engagement she had with Rui Wang. The naive her had endured being slighted and bullied in her household. Since she couldn't practice and learn some skills due to the second madam's manipulation, she had to sneak behind everyone's back or lose sleep just so she could self-study in private. 

'I must improve. Must become worthy of the prince whose name saved me from being thrown out or treated worse than a slave in the clan.' These were the words she used to chant in her mind for who-knows-since when.

Her reason for survival was so mundane and laughable, wasn't it?

But this was what gave her hopes and sustained her for years. 

She wanted to laugh and cry after remembering what happened a couple of days ago. All her efforts and hopes. Crushed and broken just like that. 

The annulment of the engagement had not only shattered her simple dream of escaping from the marshal's estate and marrying into the prince's household. It also destroyed the last thing keeping everyone from completely trampling on her. 

What else could she use now to protect herself from malicious intentions and deadly schemes? 

Before the annulment, people were at least still mindful of her status as the future Rui Wang Fei. 

Now, she had nothing but a tarnished reputation as a malicious and unwanted woman. Driven out of her clan, even kidnapped and probably already sold to a rough man... The first miss of the Jiangs actually ended up in such a laughable state.

'Mom is probably crying for me in the heavens, isn't she?''

'Why didn't I just die at the banquet?'

'Do I have to go on living and end up like the miserable me in my dream?'

Her closed eyes flew open with tears streaming down the side of her face. The mist in her eyes blurred her sight so she closed them again. 

This time, she saw her again, the burnt her who died looking a madwoman. If that woman was truly the future her, then her sufferings must have continued. The mad cries and laughter still lingered in her ears which gave her a feeling that the future her experienced a hell greater than the Jiang residence. 

Why did she have to go through all of that? All her life she followed her mom's teaching and patiently waited for good karma to smile at her. So the rule of karma was false? 

Resentment and indignation burst forth from her heart. She hated her weak self. And at the same time, every cell of her body was craving justice, revenge. An extreme desire to change that future using her own hands flooded her heart.  

'If I have fallen to bad hands already, I must escape!' 

'Plans and everything can be worked out as long as I regain my freedom!'

Jiang Ying Yue opened her misty eyes again, then got up and alertly looked around like a wary cat. Her heart dropped when she confirmed she was in a huge unfamiliar room. 

Was she really sold to somebody already?

She was trembling in both anger and fear as she continued looking around. Her sight first went to the sealed windows on the left, then to the closed door in front until they went to the right which had the only opened window in the room. 

For that brief moment, her eyes sparkled and hope was ignited in her blackening heart and mind...