217 Cruel Reality

"Shut up!" Fan Mingli covered his chest, his entire face burning red.

"He's right, his nipples look so pink!" Another man chimed in with a chuckle.

"They're like two tiny rosebuds or something."

Fan Mingli's body trembled, the visible humiliation written on his face.

"All of you, shut up!"

Not too far away from the group, behind a boulder with their backs facing one another, neither Rin nor An Sun said a word. Despite being unable to see each other, the heat from the other's back, and the tension within the air was enough to make both feel stiff. While An Sun was looking in the direction of the others, his back covered Rin, who stared at a tree across from her.

At that moment, she wanted nothing more than to focus all her attention on that single tree. However, it was near impossible when she could feel and smell An Sun's scent.

A furious blush flared back to life on her cheeks. Her stomach was fluttering, her heart as well, and she knew she'd be blushing in no time if she didn't control her thoughts.

She covered her burning cheeks with her hands and soaked in the water in an absent-minded daze until she heard An Sun's low voice.

"It's almost sunrise. They won't stay long. We'll just have to wait here until they leave."

"Mm," Rin nodded her head faintly, her body sinking deeper into the water.

The wait continued. All they could hear was the sound of the men laughing and splashing water at one another.

"Sorry…"

Rin's eyes widened at the unexpected apology. "What?"

"For what I said to you yesterday, I'm sorry."

Blinking her eyes in shock, Rin shifted her gaze a little to see An Sun's large back still faced toward her. When she noticed the old scars on his back, her lashes trembled and she quickly looked away.

"No, I should be apologizing. You were right to question my motives. The truth is��from the beginning, I always had one plan. And that was to fight against the enemy." Rin's voice came out low, almost as if she didn't want him to hear her words.

"What about now?" An Sun asked with no particular change in his tone. "Now that you know Manchu is among them, will you still make that choice to fight them?"

Rin's stomach immediately tightened. This question she buried deep within her had finally come to light. Her lips trembled until she bit them and took a quick breath to calm herself.

A long minute passed in silence.

"I'm sorry." She whispered. "I'm sorry."

Regardless of Manchu, she would still do everything in her power to defeat them.

The moment she said those words, Rin felt the urge to bite her tongue. The harsh truth of her feelings buried deep in her heart was released. Met with silence, Rin's heart grew uneasy.

Her words to someone like An Sun were foul. Unlike her, An Sun valued the trust and well-being of his men—his brothers. Had they been in danger, he wouldn't hesitate to defend them. Yet now, she had revealed to him her cruel decision to fight against his closest friend.

At that moment, Rin suddenly felt a warm, firm sensation press against her back. She stiffened once she realized An Sun was leaning on her, his back pressed against hers. He hadn't said a word to her, but she could sense that the coldness she expected wasn't there.

"Are you cold?" An Sun whispered. The concern in his voice was most apparent.

"No," Rin answered, her voice coming out cracked.

"Then why are you trembling?"

"Because…I'm cold."

Rin realized the contradiction in her response and let out a little sigh. She didn't dare tell him it was because she was nervous. If An Sun thought she wasn't making any sense, he was kind enough not to mention it.

He continued to gently lean against her. Her back brushed against his several times, the contact seeming to set her entire skin on fire. Heat radiated from him. She was drawn to his warmth, and when she realized that fact, she knew she should pull away. Rin tried to lean away, when she suddenly felt his hand on the boulder grab hers.

"I'm not mad." He said.

Rin's brows furrowed. She was baffled. "Why not?"

"Because I know you, Rin."

"You know me?" Rin couldn't help but snort.

"I know what you said isn't as cruel as you mean it to be."

His voice had taken on a hard edge. She ignored it. "I just implied I was going to fight against your closest friend - possibly kill. How is that not clear?"

How could he know her? How could he possibly understand the decisions she had to make? Decisions she hated, were disgusted with but had no choice but to accept.

An Sun could detect the confusion in her voice, the nervousness. He sighed and looked up at the sun fully hanging above the trees and stone buildings.

"For a while now, I've lived in a world where I believed everything could be achieved peacefully. Without pain. But now, I've come to understand something. Reality is pain. I tried to hide my pain, my reality. But I was wrong. My pain is something I need to carry. You feel your strengths in the experience of pain. Your feelings are a part of you. I was ashamed of them and hid them, allowing my wishful hope to destroy my reality." He explained in a whisper.

An Sun's hand that had been resting on her wrist, moved to her palm until finally, their fingers intertwined. He squeezed them.

"The reality now is that you're right. No matter how I try to look at it, Manchu is still on the enemy's side. Even if by force, it doesn't change the situation."

"Sun…" Rin's throat tightened.

She hadn't let go of his hand. Like before, she could have pulled away. But she didn't. Instead, her hand gently squeezed his.

Even though the position the two of them were in was indecent, Rin couldn't care less at that moment. If anything, she had long forgotten about Fan Mingli and the others, her thoughts too occupied on An Sun.

"Even if this is the reality…We will fight against the odds. I promise." Rin's voice held conviction.

An Sun didn't say a word for a long minute. He didn't smile, but the corners of his eyes crinkled together in warmth. Because her back was faced toward him, Rin was unable to see his expression.

"Thank you, Rin." He smiled as he pulled his hand away from hers to glance over the rock. "They're gone now."

On her side, Rin peered behind the rock to see that An Sun's words were true. They were gone. Her shoulders slumped with relief.

"You can leave first," An Sun offered.

Rin slanted her head to the side slightly. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I need to wash a little longer."

Without questioning, Rin nodded her head. She quickly scrambled out of the lake and reached for her clothes by a bush, bearing with the chill she received from a sudden wind.

Wrapping a towel around her body, she would occasionally glance at An Sun from time to time to ensure he wasn't peeking. Although with great difficulty, she finally managed to dress and turned her back to An Sun.

"I'll be leaving now." She cleared her throat.

From behind the rock, An Sun raised his hand to give a silent wave. Rin couldn't stop herself from chuckling. Taking her shoes in her hand and towel, Rin walked away from the lake. Alone, An Sun leaned against the cold rock and sighed.

He lifted his hand from beneath the water and stared at it silently for a moment. Lifting it to his nose, he sniffed. It strangely smelled of something sweet. Realizing what he had just done, he covered his face and groaned. His chest swelled until it was in jeopardy of bursting.

What was happening to him?