Chapter 38 - The Burden Of Secret

When Li Caiyi arrived at the hospital, she walked straight to the neurology department. Today should be her first time coming here, but she had come here many times in her previous life, so she did not need anyone to show her the way anymore.

His father's office was located in the east wing on the edge of the third floor. Li Caiyi was unwilling, but her mother entrusted her to do this, and she thought it would be better for her to go rather than her other siblings. She had to correct her past mistakes.

When she arrived in front of the office with Li Jirong's nameplate on the door, she stood there without moving. If it went like her past life, then it should be around now that Li Jirong finally stopped looking at her for good.

Li Caiyi pressed her ears to the door, and even if it was faint, she could hear gasps and moaning sounds inside. There was also an ambiguous wet sound, accompanied by a man's grunt and women's coquettish giggle, also a creaking sound produced by some rigorous movement.

One did not need to look to know what kind of action transpired beyond the door.

Li Caiyi felt that her past 'self' was so foolish. Despite having a clue that something was wrong inside, she still opened the door and witnessed a disgusting sight of Li Jirong and a young woman with a disheveled nurse outfit entangled on top of the sofa. They tarnished her innocent eyes forever by showing such a vulgar scene. After that, her father, who had already despised her before that, started treating her like air. It was like he wanted to erase the fact that he had another daughter in the house.

On top of that, he was shameless enough to make Su Suyin send Li Caiyi every time he needed some stuff from home, starting from that day. He might have thought that since she already knew about it, it would be better to have her deliver things to him instead of his wife. Su Suyin, who was blissfully unaware of this, agreed happily, thinking that Li Caiyi and Li Jirong had gotten closer.

Li Caiyi just couldn't bring herself to break the news to her mother, who desperately clung to Li Jirong like her life depended on it. Li Jirong took advantage of that and threatened Li Caiyi that he would divorce Su Suyin, and only took Li Junjie into his custody if she told anyone about it.

Even though Li Caiyi knew it was wrong to help her father cover for his mistake, the thought of devastated Su Suyin, and Li Chunhua, who would suffer without good medicine in hand, made her unable to say anything.

Li Caiyi, who accidentally found out about her father's unfaithfulness, spent the rest of her life carrying that secret, which she took with her to her next life. It was a heavy burden, and she had always felt remorseful for her mother because of this.

If Li Caiyi thought back to how she was so fearful of Li Jirong in her past life, Li Caiyi just wanted to go back and smack some senses into herself. She was foolishly tricked, used, and manipulated repeatedly, but the main culprit lived leisurely without burden while she carried all of her guilt to her grave. That was so dumb of her!

"Piece of trash," Li Caiyi muttered in a low voice. However, there was deep resentment and hatred contained in that one sentence. She was itching to kick the door open and just caught the adulterer red-handed but now was not the right time yet.

Li Caiyi did not want to hear, nor did he care about what his father was doing anymore, so she walked away with a clenched fist.

***

Being in the hospital always gave her a suffocating feeling. She was not sick, but she might become one if she stayed there any longer.

Li Caiyi stomped her way to the hospital garden and threw the bag in her hand to the ground malignantly. The food arrangement Su Suyin wasted so much time to make must be in a mess now, but she did not care. Li Jirong did not deserve her mother's loyalty.

How heartbroken Su Suyin must have felt if she knew the truth. Li Caiyi was unsure how Li Junjie and Li Chunhua would take the news, but surely her family would break apart after this secret came into the light of day.

"Heuk," she choked on her breath as tears welled up in her eyes. However, she refused to spill a droplet for scum like her father, so she furiously wiped her eyes with her sleeve. "I'll get back at him for Mother's pain in two lifetimes."

Li Caiyi sat on the ground, not caring if it would dirty her pants, and waited for some time until Li Jirong was finished with his 'business'. She would just drop the bag in the office and leave. or she could secretly mess up his documents and things while she was at it.

"Excuse me."

A deep voice interrupted her train of thought. Li Caiyi looked up and saw a young man standing beside her. He bent his upper body so he could talk to her easier. He stood with the sunlight behind him, casting a dark shadow on his face; Li Caiyi had to squint her eyes while looking up.

"I saw you were carrying this earlier, and… it almost got taken away by a dog, so I retrieved it for you. Uhm, I'm sorry if I bother you."

"Ah," Li Caiyi almost forgot about her bag. She let out a wry smile. "Even a dog deserved to eat it more than that person."

"Come again?" The young man could not hear her words clearly, but Li Caiyi shook her head and accepted the bag.

"Thank you."

The young man nodded politely. "It was nothing. I'll take my leave now. Goodbye."

Li Caiyi checked on the boxes of food after the young man left. The content was a mess, and the change of clothes her mother prepared was wrinkled. Li Caiyi put them back haphazardly when pieces of candy fell from the bag.

Did her mother put them in the bag? But she did not see any candy the last time she checked it.

Could it be?

Li Caiyi looked back in the direction where the young man left, but he was nowhere to be seen. He probably has seen her venting her anger earlier and gave these to her to cheer her up. It was ironic how a stranger could be so kind to her while her father was like that.

She was left with nothing to do, so Li Caiyi unwrapped a candy and threw it into her mouth. Taste of mint spread onto her tongue. The smell of mint reminded him of Shen Qiang. She wondered when she could meet him?

She stayed like that for an hour or so before she dragged her feet back into the hospital.