Chapter 48 - Selfishness

Li Caiyi watched Li Chunhua calmly as if tacitly agreeing with her. That was not the reaction Li Chunhua expected at all.

"You are different. Why did you change? No, that's not right. You are not Li Caiyi. Who are you?" Li Chunhua started rambling incoherently.

Li Caiyi could not help but feel sad when she saw that. The twins had always been very close, and they were always together. Li Caiyi always thought that she knew Li Chunhua the best, that no one knew her better than she did. But after she got re-birthed, she was not so sure anymore.

Where did they go wrong? Li Caiyi only wanted to protect those who were dear to her, but now that it came to this, she did not know what she should do.

No, that might not be true. Perhaps Li Caiyi already noticed it. Even in her previous life, she always acted with her family's best interest in mind. She never disobeyed her parents, never questioned the preferential treatment, or thought about leaving the house. All because she knew how delicate her family situation was. It could easily break with a slight impact.

Such a family, could they really be saved?

Li Caiyi used to believe that it did not matter even if she received the least love among the siblings, as long as she still had them with her. She would do anything so long as they would not leave her.

But in the end, everything felt pointless. Wasn't it because she instinctively knew that her family could not be saved anymore she took a drastic choice in her previous life?

Looking at Li Chunhua right now was like looking at her past self. The previous Li Caiyi who desperately tried to keep everyone together.

"I'm sorry."

Li Chunhua jolted when she heard that. She raised her head, and her gaze met with Li Caiyi's sad one. There was an indescribable amount of bitterness and exhaustion in them as if she had given up everything.

Li Chunhua could not accept that.

"Why are you apologizing? I don't want your apology. I want an answer!"

"Xiaohua, it must be very hard for you as well."

Li Chunhua gritted her teeth. "Are you trying to avoid the subject? Stop saying nonsense and just say it out loud! You must think I am very selfish and unreasonable, right?!"

Li Caiyi had always felt bad for her sister. She was robbed of a healthy life since she was born, and later, she was robbed of her loved one because her body could not produce an heir.

Li Chunhua cried and begged Li Caiyi to marry Meng Renshu in her stead because she thought she could accept it if it were Li Caiyi. As long as it was not another woman, she could live with it. Li Caiyi cried with her for the rest of the night, but didn't she feel happy during her wedding? Li Caiyi even expected her future a bit, even though she knew everything was built on top of Li Chunhua's and Meng Renshu's suffering.

In the end, Li Caiyi also left Li Chunhua in that lonely and painful place alone.

Li Caiyi could never think of her sister as selfish because she was also the same.

"You lied to me. You said we were always together, and you would never leave my side. But what did I just hear earlier? You want to leave the house?" Li Chunhua laughed bitterly. "You seem eager to leave me behind."

"Xiaohua, I…."

"I don't want to hear it!" Li Chunhua covered both of her ears, and tears pooled in her eyes. Her voice was shaking as she said, "Big brother would eventually leave the house. And you too. Only me. Only I would stay in this place forever!"

Li Caiyi felt her heartache terribly. She rushed forward and pulled Li Chunhua into a tight embrace. "That's not true. I said I was going to leave the house, but I never said I was going to leave you."

"Liar. You kept your distance from me, made new friends, and even signed up for competition behind my back. You planned to leave me behind and live happily without me."

"Wrong. That's wrong, Xiaohua."

Li Chunhua grabbed Li Caiyi's arm while her shoulders trembled uncontrollably. "I beg you. Please don't leave. Don't leave me alone in this place."

Listening to her sister's crying plea, Li Caiyi choked on her sob. She wondered how Li Chunhua fared when she died in her previous life? Her heart squeezed painfully in her chest. "I'll never leave you alone again. This time, I'll take you with me!"

Li Chunhua did not quite understand why Li Caiyi said that as if she had done that before, but her worry and anxiety eased a lot under her sister's determined promise.

As long as Li Caiyi did not leave her, she would not wish for anything else. It did not matter if Li Caiyi hated her, as long as she could keep her by her side.

Li Chunhua did not want to be alone. She was afraid of being left behind. Although she knew doing that was equal to breaking her sister's wings and freedom, she was more fearful of being alone than hated. That was why she did not have a choice but to tie her down by a chain.

"Xiaoyi, I'm sorry," Li Chunhua softly whispered.

Li Caiyi smiled faintly. She had a hunch Li Chunhua was not apologizing for acting spoiled today.

"If you are sorry, then stop making things complicated for those three. They were the ones who taught me that no effort goes unnoticeable. Although it was not always rewarded, there will always be people who are grateful for it."

"Feng Nian must be the one who told you, right? I felt so betrayed when I found out you trusted your friend more than me," Li Chunhua pouted.

"Feng Nian was not a bad person. She just had a strong sense of justice. She knew you were plotting something, so she warned me about it."

"Hmph, it was not my fault Chen Ruolan liked me more than them."

"What did you say to Chen Ruolan?"

"Nothing much. I just showed her I could be a better company than her friends ever were. My intention might not be pure, but I tried my best to keep up with her, too. Who told them to treat Chen Ruolan lightly just because they have known each other for a long time? Even she could feel hurt by Feng Nian's casual and irresponsible remarks too sometimes."

So there were other stories between them. Li Caiyi did not know that. "Anyway, just stop causing trouble for them, okay?"

Li Chunhua harrumphed. "As long as they did not act too far."

She meant they could not take too much of Li Caiyi's time. Li Caiyi could only shake her head helplessly, facing her sister's stubbornness.

"Was everything that happened previously was your fault too?"

Li Chunhua frowned. "You make it sound like I was to blame for everything. Well, I admitted that half of them were indeed my doing, but I also drove away those who want to take advantage of you. You are just way too trusting, so I have no choice but to check everyone who comes close to you."

"Everyone?"

"Yeah. One weirdo in our middle school liked to rank girls, and he put you on the bottom while mocking you behind your back. I 'accidentally' let it slip to Brother Renshu, and I never heard him talking nonsense again after that."

Li Caiyi's finger twitched when she heard Meng Renshu's name. "Brother Renshu did?"