Chapter 95 - Shenqiang's Worry

Dai Shenqiang could not react immediately to Li Caiyi's question. "Come again?"

"Do you want to create a manhua story with me?" Li Caiyi asked again.

"Wait. Isn't your question a bit too random right now?" Dai Shenqiang chuckled, but Li Caiyi was not smiling. 

"Shenqiang, I'm serious. I saw your drawing, and I think you have a talent for it. Can you re-create it as a manhua if I made you a storyline? We can become a co-creator!"

His smile gradually faded from his face and was replaced with bewilderment and astonishment. "I have never tried it before, and my hand is still injured, too. But why are you suddenly asking me this?"

Li Caiyi took a deep breath before explaining everything about his negotiation with Shao Jingfei. Dai Shenqiang's expression changed from shock to confusion, and finally, hesitation. By the time Li Caiyi finished, he had a deep frown on his face.

"And that's the story. I'm sorry for acting on my own, but I don't want to lose this opportunity."

"Caiyi, it's not like I don't understand your concern." Dai Shenqiang scratched his head. "But you have done so much for us already. If you do more than this, we will feel bad."

"Why not? We both will get our share of benefits, so it's a win-win situation. Furthermore, aren't we friends?"

"Precisely because we are friends, I don't want to make you do this for us. While I appreciate your thoughtful kindness, we can't possibly leech on you like this. You don't have to feel obligated to help us, you know."

At first, Li Caiyi was indeed helping them because she thought Dai Shenqiang was her Shen Qiang initially. However, after spending time together and getting closer to the brothers, Li Caiyi genuinely felt connected to them. Even after realizing that her thought was too naïve, and Dai Shenqiang might not be the one she was looking for, it still did not stop her desire to help them with anything she could do.

She felt like she would regret it forever if she did nothing, and she had had enough of that feeling in her previous life.

"Shenqiang, listen to me well. Even if you accept my proposition, there is no guarantee we will succeed in this. Both of us are new and inexperienced in this, that's why we can help each other. Who knows? Maybe something will change in the future. Don't give up before trying!"

Dai Shenqiang smiled bitterly. "I… can't. With my art, it's just impossible. I'm… not like my brother."

Li Caiyi slammed the table in front of her. "YOU CAN!" 

Dai Shenqiang jumped in his place from the sheer force of her speech. His pupils shook ever so slightly. "W-why are you suddenly yelling?"

"Shenqiang, whatever you are thinking, it is not true at all!" 

Li Caiyi, who had been in his shoes before, knew how it felt to be in his shoes more than anyone else. 

When you were denied by those around you, you would feel horrible and unworthy inside. However, that was not the worst part of it. It was when you started denying and degrading your own self-worth, was when you truly became miserable. 

It took her one lifetime to finally appreciate herself the way she was, so she would not let Dai Shenqiang suffer the same horrible feeling she used to have.

"Your art is amazing! I fell in love with it, at first sight, so you should never think of it as nothing! Not everyone can do what you can, and I believe your brother also thinks the same. I trust we can create a good synergy if we work together. That's why I'm asking you this. Shenqiang, I can help you, and you can help me."

"Caiyi, I can't possibly make you risk your opportunity just to save myself. You will fare much better if you sign up as a novelist. You should not put your hope on someone like me." Dai Shenqiang avoided direct eye contact with her, but Li Caiyi noticed a hint of frustration in his voice. 

She took a deep breath to calm herself down. She plopped herself back on the chair and cleared her throat. "Sorry, I got too carried away just now. I didn't mean to force you to do anything you want to. However, can you at least try to make several pages of manhua first for me? My friend will evaluate it later to judge if it is worth investing in or not. You will believe it if the professional is the one who appraises your work, right?"

"No, it's not like I don't believe you…."

Li Caiyi raised her hand to stop his words. "You don't have to say it. I know it's hard to believe the words of others when there is no proof to support it, so let's make that proof together. Join me, Shenqiang. Don't you also feel restless the whole time? You want to do something but do not know what to do and are scared of making everything worse. That's why you stay silent and try to make yourself comfortable rather than actively trying to find a solution. Isn't that right?"

Dai Shenqiang: "!!"

Li Caiyi smiled softly. "I can't tell you in detail, but believe me, I have been through the same thing once. So I know well that you actually hate being in this position more than anyone else. Isn't that right?"

Dai Shenqiang lowered his head while biting his lips. Li Caiyi studied his reaction, and she thought that this might be the first time she ever saw the raw emotion on his face. He usually would joke around or tease her occasionally, so people could easily mistake him as a cheerful person while he was actually hiding his true feelings deep inside.

"My brother…." Dai Shenqiang said weakly, "....is someone I respect the most. He is good at anything and does not seem to have any weaknesses. When I was a child, kids in my class used to bully me because I spent my time indoors drawing rather than playing soccer like other boys. I think it was around that time that I grew afraid of showing my drawing to anyone."

"Because you are afraid they will bully you?" Li Caiyi felt a needle prickling her heart as she said so.

"Yeah. They would call my hobby creepy or something only a loner with no friends like me would do." Dai Shenqiang's lips curved up in a nostalgic smile. "Every time those kids bully me, my brother would always come to my rescue. He would beat everyone who mocked me or laid a finger on me, like a superhero in a manhua."

His face turned gloomy after that. "But because of that, my brother often got into trouble. Those bullies would often look for my brother again, bringing more people or older students to fight with my brother. There was even one instance where my brother got blamed for something he did not do, all because he wanted to protect me."

Li Caiyi: "...."

"I hate being an inconvenience to my brother, so I changed myself starting from middle school. I learned the trend and spent more effort on my appearance. Aside from that, I also mimicked how popular students talk and behave. Throughout all that, I dared not to tell anyone about my hobby." 

Dai Shenqiang let out a self-deprecating laugh. "I want to become a strong person, like my brother. But, you are right. I was just making myself comfortable and never actually trying to solve my problem at all.. Even if my outer appearance had changed, I'm still the same weak, helpless child as I was back then."