Chapter 181 - Genuine Talk Between The Twins

Li Caiyi entered the house simultaneously as Li Chunhua walked out of the kitchen with a glass of water in her hand. Their gazes met, and both stopped in their tracks simultaneously.

Li Caiyi noticed Li Chunhua's outfit was one she used when she went out. Since she hadn't changed that outfit yet, it meant she had also just arrived home herself.

"Did you go out somewhere today?" Li Caiyi asked her.

Li Chunhua nodded. "I did. You got home pretty late today, too."

"Yeah, I have some business I need to take care of," Li Caiyi replied while rubbing the back of her neck tiredly.

"With Dai Shenqiang?"

Li Caiyi's movement stopped at the mention of Dai Shenqiang and replied carefully. "Yes."

".....I see." 

To Li Caiyi's surprise, Li Chunhua didn't throw a tantrum or question her this time. She seemed pretty calm and even somewhat indifferent about it. 

Ever since Li Caiyi knew how obsessed her sister was towards her, Li Caiyi had always been vigilant around her. However, Li Chunhua was so well-behaved these days that Li Caiyi couldn't tell if this was the calm before the storm or something else. 

"What about you? Where did you go off to today?" 

"Nowhere. I was just bored, so I went shopping." Li Chunhua replied shortly. 

"Alone? Did you bring your medicine with you? You shouldn't wander around much, even if your condition has been stable lately." Li Caiyi said out of reflex.

Li Chunhua stared at Li Caiyi with an inexplicable gaze before asking, "Why do you care, anyway?"

"How could I not? You could have collapsed in the road with no one around you to help."

Li Chunhua: "....."

The older twin felt that there was something different with her sister today. She looked dispirited and confused for some reason. Did something happen to her today?

"Xiaohua, did something happen today? You are not like your usual self tonight."

Li Chunhua didn't answer immediately and only caressed the rim of her glass slowly. "Xiaoyi, why didn't you leave the house? Don't you hate being here?"

"Huh?" 

Her question took aback Li Caiyi. If she wasn't confident before, now she was convinced that something did happen to Li Chunhua today. Before this, she didn't even want to hear Li Caiyi mention leaving the house, but now she took the initiative to ask her reason. It felt like the sun was going to rise from the west tomorrow.

"Did you ask that question….because you are finally ready to hear my explanation now?"

".…I don't know. I can't tell if I want to hear about it or not."

"Then why are you asking me that?"

"Because I thought you were having a hard time."

Li Caiyi's eyes widened in shock. Now she really wanted to know what happened to her sister, which could make her suddenly reach enlightenment. 

'If it's now, perhaps my words can finally reach her!' Li Caiyi thought inwardly.

"Well, I am having a hard time, Xiaohua. Our family is far from what you call a normal family. Even you, I know you are having a hard time, too."

Li Chunhua tilted her head in confusion. "But I'm not having a hard time, though?"

"No, you are. You just don't realize that because your perception of what is 'normal' is twisted by our environment. I want you to realize that before everything is too late. I want to save you."

"....I don't understand, Xiaoyi. Save me? From what?"

Li Caiyi bit her lips, trying to suppress all of her frustration inside. Looking at Li Chunhua was like looking at her previous self, who foolishly thought everything would be fine as long as she kept doing what everyone expected of her. It was unbearable.

Thankfully, Shen Qiang saved her from that hell. He recognized her as a person, which made her realize how wrong she had lived her life before. 

Li Caiyi smiled softly before answering. "From everything. Including yourself."

Li Chunhua: "....."

Li Caiyi suddenly felt overwhelmed by her own emotion. She felt like she would cry if she continued this conversation any longer. That was when she heard Li Chunhua's voice again.

"Am I the reason why you haven't left yet? Because I'm not saved yet?"

"Xiaohua, the only thing I can do is to guide and encourage you. In the end, the only one you can save you is yourself." Li Caiyi took a deep breath before smiling bitterly. 

"You need help, and I mean professional help. Your heart, mind, and body are sick right now, but it's not necessarily bad. If you are prepared to do what it takes to heal yourself, I'll accompany you along your way. You are not alone."

".....If I do that, what will happen to you afterward? Are you finally going to be released from your guilt and break free from your chain?"

This time, Li Caiyi was the one who was rendered speechless. She didn't know how to answer that question, so she averted her eyes.

Li Chunhua's eyes dimmed when she saw her sister's reaction. She forced herself to smile before saying, "I see."

There was a deafening silence that descended between the twins for a while. Both of them knew each other too well, but at the same time, they also didn't understand each other. This was probably their first time having a 'genuine' talk while facing each other properly, without pretense or deception. 

In the end, Li Chunhua broke the silence first by saying, "Please give me time to think regarding the treatment. We need to think how to convince Dad too because he won't agree with it easily."

Li Caiyi looked at her sister in disbelief. "Xiaohua, are you saying you will receive treatment?!"

Li Chunhua smiled mirthlessly. "Don't rejoice just yet. I said I will think about it."

Even so, this was still an immense improvement for Li Chunhua, who never wanted to admit her fault before. Li Caiyi couldn't be happier.

"Xiaohua, thank you for listening to me."

"....I will go back to my room, then. You should take a rest too."

Li Caiyi stared at her sister's back until she entered her room while still basking in the feeling of surreality. There was a mixture of joy and sadness in her seeing Li Chunhua's back. 

In her past life, Li Caiyi didn't notice her mistake until it was too late, so she was desperate to wake Li Chunhua up before it was too late. Although Li Chunhua said she would think about it, Li Caiyi knew it wouldn't be an easy decision, especially for her, who barely understood what had happened to her and how broken she was.

But as long as Li Chunhua was determined to cure herself, Li Caiyi would always be there to support her. 

Far in her mind, she felt like she could vaguely hear the ticking sound of broken gear starting to move again.