Chapter 48 - Repercussions

General Bai was understandably upset as the guards and his daughter retell the story while a medic tended to my wound. Meanwhile, I’m at war on the inside.

‘We can’t just kill anybody who looks at us wrong!’

‘And why can’t we? They are certainly willing to run us through!’

‘If we kill everyone then we can’t get to the bottom of things! That attack was not only aimed at us, but I’m also betting that the bandits were there to kidnap Bai Fan-’

‘BAH! There you go again. Who cares about her, anyway? She is a mortal, she will die eventually. The important thing is that there are fewer people now that will challenge us!’

‘Of course, I worry about her, she’s my friend! And we can’t do everything alone! We need friends and people who watch our backs when we can’t!’

‘We are perfectly capable of caring for ourselves, you just haven’t accepted it yet! If you would follow my lead, there wouldn’t be anyone brave enough to try and stop us!’

‘I refuse to be that callous. Respect out of fear doesn’t hold a candle against having respect out of love!’

‘Out of love? What use do we have for it? We need only a mate strong enough to not hinder our growth! We are far better off without weak people who drag us down.’

‘For a being who is supposedly so evolved, you’re incredibly naive. I know from experience what a lonely life will lead to and I will not have it again. I will rather be a fool that believes in love and companionship than seeing people as mere tools.’

We kept arguing in my head for a while until I was pulled from my musings by General Bai’s cough. Turning around I found myself alone with the man and his daughter, who was kept safely at his side. Since we arrived at her home, Bai Fan has scarcely looked my way and now she sits beside her father with her head bent down.

“Prince Shen Mu?” The man was looking intently at me, and I turned to him while still on my knees.

“Forgive me, General Bai. I was lost in my own mind.”

“I see” He nodded, before kowtowing to me “This official thanks his majesty for coming to his daughter’s rescue despite his own wounds.”

I waved his gesture away impatiently “Worry not, General. Her wellbeing is my responsibility. I will always be there when she needs me.”

“This official cannot thank the Prince enough for his words, it makes this General’s heart at ease to know that his daughter will be well cared for after she is wed.”

‘So much for her thankfulness! She can’t even look us in the eye!’ My other self interrupts, and I grudgingly agree.

‘She is a sheltered girl from a noble family. I don’t doubt this to be the first time she sees someone killed.’

My other-self scoffs and I tuned it out in favor of the general who has kept talking.

“...esty, have you heard back from your family?”

I shook my head. Despite having been here for over a month, no correspondence from either my parents or sister has reached me, which is somewhat worrisome. I’m not sure if my enemies will target my family too, or if their animosity is just reserved for me.

“Not yet. I will have to leave soon to the Yan Province so that I can talk to my parents and retrieve our family’s Jade for your daughter. From there I must go to the Capital and inform the Emperor of the attempts on my life.”

The general nodded and I saw Bai Fan blinking rapidly before her head snapped up to stare at me, her mouth slightly ajar.

I wonder, did she think I’d cancel the engagement because we had a bit of a scuffle in her town?

I tilted my head to one side in her direction and she became bashful, looking down.

Both my other self and my own mind scoffed at that.

The general has, by now, become aware of our exchange, and he looked back at his daughter in askance.

“Father, I’m sure that his highness is tired after being wounded in battle. Perhaps we should reconvene tomorrow? Once he recovers?” She sent a pained look my way before lowering her eyes to the ground.

I growled silently. For some reason, this new attitude of hers is pissing me off.

I nodded and stood up “I shall leave you then”. As I turned around, I found her and her father kowtowing to me again. “Have a pleasant evening,” I said despite wanting to stay and rip the truth out of her lips.

I sent one last searching look towards Bai Fan, who’s not lifting her gaze from the ground before I stormed out of the place.

---

Back at the Fa estate, I found out that Min is still pissed at me for how our duel ended and I decided that I don’t want to deal with anybody just yet, so I headed to the woods where my Master sent me to meditate before.

I sat on top of a tree trunk and stared at the night sky, wondering how and when things went tits up.

Having a second mind inside my own hasn’t helped me a bit, despite its assurances that it has everything under control.

‘I can hear you.’

‘I don’t care.’ I stopped arguing, immediately tired of the whole routine, and began meditating. In the morning I will talk to Master Fa and see if he can take care of Ling’s movement to my parents’ house, while I make my own way through another route. I will not put her in peril again... even if things haven’t been the same between us since the spiritual camp, she is still a servant to my family and I will see her to safety.

Or maybe she’d prefer to stay with Master Fa and help him instead. No danger of running into assassins that way, and I’m sure that Master Fa will appreciate the company of a beautiful girl with magical hands.

I sighed and eased all thoughts from my mind, falling into a meditative state. Once in trance, I traced the usual markings of the way that I’ve put up in my mind to keep things organized. There was a certain detective TV series about a guy with perfect memory and the trick was to create a landscape in your mind that you knew intimately. The MC in the series called it the ‘mind palace’, whereas mine is more like a forest where all seasons convene.

I opened my eyes and found myself in autumn, the place where all the memories with details I don’t understand reside. I stood up from the trunk and moved about, finding an unused tree and letting my latest memories from the Bai Estate escape from me. As they do, they become crystallized into paintings with movements, much like those from the Harry Potter universe. I watched Fan’s face as she smiled at me in the morning before moving onto the next canvas, of her not daring to meet my eyes.

“What happened, Fan’er? Are you scared of me?” I asked her reflection for the words I’m too much of a coward to ask to her face. The memory doesn’t answer... they never do, and I decided to move on.

Walking through the woods at the speed of thought, I reached winter... the memories of my past life. Almost every tree here has canvasses hanging from it. Memories of going to a certain coffee shop in my hometown made me smile, and I watched as my past self went around the place doing several things and meeting new people every now and then until... her.

She walked into my life like a much-needed ray of light in the winter. We met at the coffee shop by pure accident. She tripped with the handle of my portfolio and fell right on top of me.

It was awkward but inspired as well and, from that moment on, I could barely wait to see her again. We were so in love that we got engaged that very year. Seeing her face again, prattling animatedly about a TV series she had just finished would never fail to make me smile. My hand lifted on its own and I caressed her smiling face on the canvas, as a tear escaped my eyes.

“I miss you.” I sighed and shook my head. We were the happiest couple until the pandemic hit and I got infected.

From that moment on, it all went downhill fast.

My last memory from my past life was of her crying at my bedside at the hospital, begging me not to give up. To fight the disease, for her... for us.

“I tried” I whispered, the feeling of loss and regret overwhelming me until I can’t stop the tears from falling.

I placed a tender kiss on her tear-struck face and moved away from Winter and into Spring. Here are the memories of my childhood in this life. Memorable moments and so many teachings and information that I even amaze myself at the ability of Master Fa to retain so much. Perhaps he too knows of a way to trick the memory into remembering everything... or perhaps he is just that good.

I shook my head and allowed my consciousness to return to the now and then, where I found myself under a downpour. I blinked rapidly and looked up at the sky to see lightning crossing the darkened clouds.

“Strange weather, isn’t it?” I turned to the sound and found myself staring into the form of an old man. His back is rod-straight despite appearing quite old. He too seems unbothered by the pouring rain.

I nodded at him, standing up from the tree trunk and adjusting my clothes. “It is not easy to sneak on me. Who are you?” I sensed the interest of my other self in this exchange.

“I simply followed the storm.” he raised a hand in my direction and smiled “Your spirit companion is quite strong to have summoned this rain from so far away.”

I tilt my head to the side “beg your pardon?”

“Your companion” he waves in my general direction “the one that is glaring at me from the shadows of the spirit world.”

My eyes go wide. “You can see him?”

“Yes.” he nodded, then looked up at the sky again “The crops I’m supposed to watch over are going to wilt from all this water... could you please send it away?”

He speaks as if it was my fault the rain was here in the first place. “Clouds come and go as they please, why would I have anything to do with that?”

The man frowned and glared in my direction, but he must have read something in my face because he then began laughing.

“By the Emperor, you don’t know!”

“Know what?” I asked more than a little exasperated. I sensed the dragon just under my skin, wanting to do nothing more than tear this man limb for limb.

He coughed and sobered up immediately. “Forgive me, I have never found such a strong deity that was unable to rein in his power.”

“...”

Come again?

I blinked owlishly at him. A deity? Is he talking about me?

I shook my head “I am no deity. I’m just a man on his way to becoming one.”

“A cultivator?” he stared wide-eyed at me. At my nod, he slapped his head. “Forgive me young man, I mistook you for one of my own.” He shrugged and offered me a bow in apology “It has been a long time since I saw one of your kind, and never one with such power” he motioned to the stormy sky “to make rain without noticing... tell me young one, how far are you on the way of Dao?”

I shrug, “I conquered my eight tribulation not long ago.”

His eyes almost jump out of their sockets.

“EIGHT!” He gasped and turned pale “Gods! Only eight and he can do that? Am I in the presence of one of the Great Ones?”

Unable to make heads or tails of his mumblings, I asked my other self about the storm.

‘You conjured it. The sky became like that after your own feelings’

‘I’m calm now, so why hasn’t it stopped raining?’

‘It's’ a matter of intention. When you meditate, our power isn’t limited by our intentions but by our feelings. In order to stop the rain, you would need to enter the trance and conjure a positive emotion of the same intensity as the sorrowful one that summoned the storm.’

I nodded appreciatively and thank it before turning to the man who is still lost in his own little world.

I looked up at the heavens and closed my eyes, feeling the rain wash over my face and body and I began to relax. I remembered my time down memory lane and opted to avoid the memories from my past life. They were good, but they were also mixed with much nostalgia, especially those about her.

Happy memories. Hmmm. Playing with Zhi while she was still a child at the Shen estate made me smile but it didn't do anything to improve the weather.

‘Soak in the feeling, you must let it overwhelm the turmoil in your mind’

I frowned at the interruption and shook my head.

After a moment of introspection, I sighed and shrugged.

“I can’t, sorry. I don’t know how.” I feel defeated and frustrated. How am I supposed to control the weather with my feelings? I just don’t get it.

“If I may?” The old man looked at me timidly “I too had to learn to use the powers bestowed upon me, perhaps I can be of assistance?”

I shrugged, “Let’s give it a go. It can’t be worse than not trying.”

“Wise words.”

The man bowed and then his tone changed to that of a man in control.

“Close your eyes, young master, and think back to the earliest memory you have.” I decided not to point out that I have memories from another life, and simply followed what I suppose he meant. In my mind’s landscape, I saw myself as a tiny bundle in the arms of my mother. She has just given birth to me. She tiredly whispered sweet nothings, thanking the gods that I was in such good health and praying for fortune in my life.

Ahhh. Those were simpler times.

“Embrace the memory, put yourself in that place again and enjoy the exuberance of youth.”

His instructions are easy to follow, and soon I’m back in my young body, staring at my mother and father as they stare at me, both beaming, glad beyond belief and so obviously in love with each other that it is hard to miss it in their eyes.

My lips turned up with a wide smile and a tear escaped my eyes. It’s a tear of joy at being loved and wanted in a way only parents can do for their children in these times of trials, where every birth is a miracle.

“Now open your eyes” I follow the instruction and find myself staring at the brightening sky... there’s even a rainbow in the distance. “Congratulations, young Master,” said the old man with a proud smile. “Always remember that you must embrace the feelings caused by our memories of better times. After a while, it will become second nature and you will no longer need to struggle for control of your powers.”

“Thank you, old man.” I saluted him respectfully.

He waved a hand in front of his face “Never mind that. I’m but a lowly Cheng Huang. I simply pray that you do not forget about this little town after your ascension.” Nodding my way, the man walked away and disappeared in the light, making me sigh and frown.

It seems that there were already some expectations of me for when I finish the Heavenly Tribulation on Earth.

As soon as I get back to the Estate, I’m summoned to my master’s side, to where I went quickly. The servant led me to the dojo, where I found Master Fa silently meditating.

“Master” I greeted, saluting him formally. For some reason, the atmosphere in this place feels tense, contrary to the playful environment from my duel with Fa Min.

“Young master Shen, we have received a word from the Yan Province.” his tone made me shudder nervously.

“What has happened?” I asked, dreading the answer.

“Barbarians attacked the northern border, and your father was wounded in the skirmishes. I know not the fate of the rest of your highness’ family.”

My heart skipped a beat at the news.

I bowed to him “Thank you for letting me know, Master Fa, and for your hospitality. But I believe it is due time for me to return to my duties.” I straightened my posture and looked him in the eye “I have but two requests to make of you, before my departure.”

“Consider them granted, young master.”