154 Hand in hand

Ira buried her head in his chest. Vivan planted his nose in her hair. and brushed them. He closed his eyes and smelled the world. Her whole figure like a baby rested in his arms.

In her heart surged inexplicable grief and sorrow he must have felt in last life. Yet his powerful heartbeat a proof of his existence provided her peace at the same time.

Did he go through so much in last life?

Live with painful memories…. a survivor's guilt.

Did he have to deal with the pain — the constant mental playback, wondering if only he agreed to cut off his leg a person won't lose life?

Depression, insomnia and profound sadness... like she had.

Even after stressing her brain she didn't remember the moments he injured his leg or limped.

Past life she didn't care, but this one every bit of pain he suffered made her heart bleed. She even felt aggrieved for the past Vivan.

However hard she tried to remember the past him, the image he portrayed was always the one full of smiles. Imagine the pain he held underneath that smile. He hid all his grief and worries, kept all to himself and went on silently suffering.

This incident that happened suddenly woke her up. She was guilty of far more things than she realized.

Vivan was a right marriage partner, from a good family, an excellent architect with a great personality. To prove his strength to her, he worked overtime. His unconditional love that never got reciprocated.

When going through all this in the past life, he just needed someone to lean on, some emotional support, some love. While she was busy adding pain.

"I'm sorry." Her breath came in ragged gasps. "I won't fight with you again."

"Promise," he asked in a soft voice.

She raised her head and with little thought said, "Promise."

When she opened her eyes, tears that welled her eyes slipped on her cheeks.

"And obey me…" he seemed hesitant.

She nodded like a bobble-head doll.

"Give me a kiss," he demanded, stroking her lower lip with his warm finger.

"* … *" Her brain had turned paste. She didn't realize what he wanted.

He looked up at her and almost grinned at her perplexed look.

"You promised." He pulled an angry face, pretending to be hurt.

Ira pulled her bangs back and licked her lips nervously. When the man's face was a few centimetres away from her, she stopped.

"I will wash my face ... Get back quick." she dashed towards the washroom.

Vivan laughed out loud. He reached for a towel beside the bed and wiped his chest. It got wet, soaking with tears and her snot. He wiped clean his sticky finger.

She ran off sniffing and wiping her nose. She got embarrassed when he asked to kiss her with that face soaked in snot.

Only when she heard his laugh did Ira, realize he tricked her. Still, she washed her face clean.

Vivan heard the running tap. From the time she got pregnant, she cried a lot. It shamed him to admit that he really did enjoy her crying appearance. She displays her meek innocent side then.

When her first plan to bring Reeya away from the site failed, Ira wished she would have instead kidnapped her!

When she guessed it's her husband's life in danger, she released her... she was glad she didn't go the kidnap route.

The instant his life was on stakes, nothing else mattered.

'The fear of losing you was enough for me. enough, I won't leave your side again. '

What scares her was she got so close to losing him. Whenever she thinks of the moment, her knees go weak. What if she had to experience it again … no no!

It's only after she nearly lost him, she understood his status in her life.

Ira now whished to age with him, live long and grow white hairs together.

Walk with him …

Past her dreamt of walking in "spotlight."

To be at the top of the world.

This Ira didn't mind darkness as long as they walked hand in hand.

'An unsung desire in my heart leapt to my eyes. I desire you, desire to walk with you.'