Chapter 17.

Chapter 17. Midterms (2/7)

Without a certain intense gaze locking me down I was able to sleep peacefully without a care in the world.

When lunch came, I woke up. Guys had surrounded Rosa so I was free to do whatever I wanted. I stood up and left the classroom. On my way out, I didn’t feel like I was being observed. It seemed everyone in the class had long forgotten I existed and I was now fading into the background as I was originally supposed to before I encountered Rosa.

I debated skipping the rest of the day, but considering the offer I made Rosa, to help her study for the midterm, I decided against it for the time being. If she doesn’t ask for help today, I’ll just skip from tomorrow onwards.

Well, since she lost interest in me already, I probably wouldn’t be as much help as she originally thought.

Without any place in mind to go, I aimlessly climbed the stairs and ascended upward with lighthearted steps. I had nothing better to do, and I just didn’t feel like I belonged inside that stuffy classroom where I no longer found solace sleeping anymore. 

The guys chattering around Rosa all the time were noisy and unpleasant. They completely disrupted the tranquil atmosphere I once maintained there. It no longer felt like a safe haven to me, but rather, a place where a bunch of horny brats came stomping and throwing a tantrum because they couldn’t get what they wanted. I wouldn’t stick around to humor it.

I passed the second floor, and then the third. The final level was the rooftop, my destination. I opened the door and it appeared I was the only one around. There was a no entry sign on the door that deterred most students. If it was the old me I definitely wouldn't have opened that door.

There really wasn’t much up here, but that was the part about it I liked the most. I turned around and noticed there was a ladder to climb above the entrance to the rooftop. As this was somewhere I’d never stepped before in my last life I was feeling a bit giddy like I was on an adventure.

Naturally, if there was a ladder, one would undoubtedly climb it. I’d be a fool to not.

With that thought in mind, I did precisely that. There was only a satellite dish on top which explained the need for the ladder should it require maintenance, it was nothing too exciting. But since I was already here I figured I’d enjoy my stay. I laid down comfortably on my back with my legs hanging over the edge and my arms sprawled out like a starfish. 

The sun’s rays bathed down upon my body while I gazed up at the clouds high in the sky. The sound of the wind blew by my ears ever so gently. It was a little chilly out as winter was approaching, but it was bearable, only about the equivalent of a poorly air-conditioned room. This honestly wasn’t a bad place to take a nap.

And he who thinks it, naturally does it.

I closed my eyes, falling asleep to the sweet nothings whispered to me by the wind.

When I woke up I was greeted by the sound of the school bell chiming signaling the end of the school day. I could immediately tell which bell it was because of how much the sun in the sky had changed position. I hadn’t expected I’d doze off for so long and miss the rest of my classes. I’d been so comfortable I somehow missed the bell signaling the end of lunch.

I got up and jumped down from above the entrance to the roof then made my way back to the classroom. When I entered the room there were still students lurking around.

Rosa was still here and it seems Jass had stayed behind as well. He was seated directly across from her and it appeared he was helping her study. He did have quite good grades, better than mine so it seemed things should probably work out just fine for her. It looked like my worries were unfounded. She’d found someone to help her out after all.

That’s a relief. It would suck if she failed because of me.

It seemed the scrap paper I’d tossed over to her during the midterm was unnecessary.

I picked up my bag from the ground beside my desk and left the two of them alone to study without disturbing them.

This was much better. For the both of us. Whatever went on between the two of us before was simply toxic and unnatural. Perhaps things were just overly forced and developed far too quickly. It didn’t feel right at all. That sort of relationship was destined for failure. It was a good thing I caught the signs fast enough and pulled the abort lever.

It would have turned into a toxic first love for her if things continued the way they had. Well… assuming she hasn’t fallen in love before that is… which seemed pretty unlikely when I really thought about it. It would be narcissistic for me to definitively think that it was.

After that, I headed to work, completed my shift, then headed home. I attended school every day and completed a midterm. During lunch periods, I took a nap on the roof. I set my alarms each time to make sure I didn’t miss the end of lunch.

This repetitive process continued until the end of the week when the last midterm was held.

The following Monday, the test results were posted for all grade levels. With no surprise, I received a 75% average across all the midterms which was considered neither very good nor very bad.

I was a bit curious about how well my neighbor had done so I searched for her name on the rankings for our grade. However… her name didn’t appear anywhere in the rankings.

Did they just miss her? It could be a misprint and her name was skipped over somehow.

When lunch arrived, Mr. Oz called out to her and requested to speak in his office. 

I wanted to listen in to figure out what had gone wrong, but I couldn’t. Suddenly I froze up when a sudden thought entered my mind.

Had she been caught cheating because of me and all her midterm results were invalidated? I trembled while frozen stiff when I considered the possibility.

If that happened I wouldn’t know how to apologize enough. If she worked hard with Jass’s help and it turned out all that hard work went down the drain because of me… how could I ever apologize and make it up to her?

What do I do now?

I took out my phone and opened up my contact list to see a single entry. 

‘♡♡♡THE GIRL I WISH WAS MY GIRLFRIEND♡♡♡’

I’d never ended up deleting nor had I remembered to edit the entry. I never texted her once either. She still didn’t have my number. Only I had hers.

I considered texting her to try and find out her present situation. If I knew what was going on, I could formulate some sort of clever lie to try to clear her name. But would she even be willing to tell me?

If she’d wanted me to help her still she would have already asked me. Which meant… she didn’t want anything to do with me ever again.

Haaaah. Well, it can’t be helped I suppose. It’s completely understandable. I’m the one who broke our promise. She has no reason to trust that I’d actually help her. 

Unable to assist her, the day passed by without her making contact with me.

I attended school the following day not expecting anything much to change.

When lunch came today I was the first to stand up and head toward the exit. I passed directly behind Rosa with my hands in my pockets. Just when I was about to be out of arm's reach of her I stopped in my tracks.

Not of my own accord, but because my uniform had gotten snagged on something from behind. Or so it seemed. When I looked back, Rosa’s arm was fully extended. She wasn’t looking at me, her head hung a bit down, she appeared a bit gloomy quite unlike her usual self. It was the first time I’d ever seen a look like that on her face. She was down in the dumps.

Her lips moved, but her voice didn’t come out.

Still, I received her message by reading her lips. There weren’t many words, only two in fact.

‘I’m sorry.’

What did she have to apologize for? I didn’t understand. If anyone was at fault, it would be me for ruthlessly breaking my promise to help her, wouldn’t it? Though I had technically apologized in my own unsociable way for that already.

I let out a sigh and continued forward. My uniform slipped through her fingers. When I was turning the corner I took a peek at her from the corner of my eye and stopped. She’d turned her head in my direction.

‘Follow me to the roof.’

I continued looking her directly in the eyes but it seemed that message didn’t get across. It seems she couldn’t figure out what I was thinking. Not that I expected her to. I turned to face her with half my body in her line of sight. I took out my phone and clicked on her entry in my contact list then started a text conversation and sent her a text for the first time ever.

‘Follow me to the roof.’

That was all I said. I turned away and continued on my way. Whether she followed along as I asked was up to her. I wouldn’t force her to.

When I was about to ascend the stairs I looked to the side and saw her walking down the hallway headed in my direction.

When I confirmed she was following I went up the stains. On the second floor, I looked back and she was one flight of stairs below me. The two of us headed up all the way to the top. She followed closely behind me. I quickly scurried up the ladder. 

When she exited the door she didn’t see me out on the roof. She turned around in confusion but didn’t notice me above her. I called out to her from overhead.

“Up here. Climb the ladder on the side.”

“Oh.”

When she made it to the top I was seated by the edge with my legs dangling over the side.

“Want to take a seat? The view is pretty good up here.”

She didn’t refuse and sat down beside me, rather meek.