Chapter 887

After a simple understanding of the situation, Xiaoqian has a simple understanding of the experience of Zhu Sao.

Xiaoqian gave her a simple test and found that she had emotional deficiency because of lack of paternal love in her childhood and depression after childbirth.

Now Zhu Sao is in a very dangerous state.

She has maternal love for her daughter in her heart, but she can't help but hate this clingy child. The child gives her all, but she can't help it. She loves her daughter, which is true love. She would rather resist the pressure of her husband's divorce, but it's really annoying when she hates children, especially when children cry and quarrel with her husband.

For the sake of this child, she has paid too much, but her efforts seem to be unrequited. Sometimes, she can't help but think that if she didn't have this child, wouldn't she live such a worried life?

This kind of feeling only appears when she quarrels with her husband and the children rely too much on her. After the feeling of hating children, she falls into deep remorse. She feels that she is not a good woman and is a mother in vain.

Even when she told her husband that she was a woman with mental problems and had a tacit idea, she didn't understand why she sometimes hated children so much.

She said all these while crying.

"I really want to give more care to my children, but when she is particularly attached to me, I am tired in the unit for another day. When I see her still like that, I will be very angry and hate her. I hate her. Why don't you understand me? I have tried my best to operate on her. How can she do this to me? But then I thought, how old is she? She's still a child who doesn't know anything. It's selfish of me to hate her like this. I'm so contradictory and helpless. "

Zhu's sister-in-law covered her face and cried. Xiaoqian looked at her and cried silently.

Through this helpless woman, she seems to see thousands of women who are the same as Zhu Sao.

They are ordinary like passers-by walking on the street every day. They want to contribute more, like the great mother eulogized in thousands of literary works, but their ideological consciousness can't keep up with their ability. This strong contrast makes these women have a great denial of themselves.

Many seemingly contradictory traits come together: love and hate, dependence and independence, want to divorce and have to give in to the family for the sake of children. This is the status quo of most women in the period of social transformation.

"In fact, it's normal to hate children."

"What?" The weeping sister-in-law Zhu looks up at Xiaoqian. She hears this for the first time.

"I tell you, if psychology studies facial expressions, it's normal to hate children. Do you believe it?"

"But everyone is saying that a mother should be great, and a mother should give everything to her children."

"Yes, they all say that. When a woman says she hates children, all people will accuse her and even think that she is not worthy of being human. But when a man says he hates children, many people will feel normal. We dialectically look at children. They love to cry, make noise, and don't know what to say. Every day we know how to ask for affection from you. Especially when the child is just born, it's a nuisance that can't be expressed. "

Some children are especially able to cry. They cry all night after they are born. If they meet a straight father and think that their children are the responsibility of their mother, it will be a tragedy.

Every night, I get up several times to feed and change my baby's diapers. No matter whether you are sick or not, or whether you sleep sweetly or not, as long as the crying sounds, you have to get up and take care of the baby without hesitation.

Life has changed since the birth of this child. It's not only physical fatigue, but also resentment that changes the original life track.

Before giving birth to a child, occasionally go shopping with friends, do something you like and enjoy yourself.

Give birth to a child, everything contributes to the child.

After being a mother for several years, "self" is a luxury, especially when the baby is a little baby. In order to take care of this little thing who knows nothing, we must do our best to give everything. A little carelessness is what everyone points out.

"What I fear most is that my child is ill. When my child is ill, the first sentence when I meet someone who is not sensible is, what do you think of a child? It's the most normal reaction for many women to dislike their children within half a year after their children are born. Especially when they meet a husband who doesn't understand or help, your baby lacks father's love. When the father doesn't care enough, the child will instinctively ask for more from his mother. At this time, the mother is more tired. Don't think that men just make money, At least there should be love for his wife and children. Lack of love will cause depression of the mother and anxiety of the child. "

Xiaoqian said so much, just want to tell her, hate children is not a sin unforgivable behavior, because most women in the first child, more or less have this kind of psychology.

"But people around me like children very much. They talk and chat with children, only me."

"If I say that many women say that they like children, they all pretend to do so, do you believe it?"

Looking at problems from a professional point of view is far from the usual accepted concept. Sister Zhu is shocked again. What's wrong with her?

"Because of the rigid positioning of the role of mother in the big environment, many women subconsciously tell themselves that if they don't like their children, they will be rejected by the society, so they show a special preference for basking in children in front of people. The harder they bask in children, it just reflects their inner emptiness. As a saying goes, the more they like to show off, the more they lack something, But it can't be said that these women's actions are wrong. After the change of identity, many women are using various methods to persuade and hypnotize themselves. They should like their children and put in their feelings. "

"You give me a different understanding of the role of mother. Don't all mothers love children?"

"Of course not. What I'm talking about is a very normal attitude of being a new mother. Because I just became a mother, I can't adjust my attitude. I hate children a little because of fatigue and other reasons. This is a normal reaction. With my baby, 999% of mothers will fall in love with their children and are willing to pay for their whole life. I'm sure that maternal love is great, But I don't agree that maternal love is innate. In fact, the relationship between mother and child is based on the process of getting along bit by bit. Taking care of this little thing, her trusting smile and dependent eyes, will make us willing to pay and gradually become the fetters of our life. "

Maternal love is the greatest emotion in the world.

But in terms of human emotion, a newborn baby always brings more troubles to her mother than happiness. If someone helps her share the burden of parenting, it's better. When she meets the husband who shakes off the shopkeeper, she thinks that as long as she is responsible for the family, she will lie down on the sofa and watch TV games. Who knows her mother's pain?