Chapter 29: Begun To Love Him

After my awful foster father took me home, the first thing he did was throw me into the swimming pool, ignoring my plead. I didn't understand why he kept treating me the way he did. I was numb with fear, while he didn't feel anything.

I crawled out of the pool and tried to dry off. I had grown much taller, the pool water only went up to my chest, I was not as helpless as when I was a child. But I still didn't like the cold and the way my clothes clung to my body.

My soaked clothes clung to my sexy curves, exposing my newly developed body. I'd be bashful if others had to see me. "Give me a break!" I pleaded, pathetically.

His eyes looked angry, "Come here," he said.

I looked at him and I found his eyes so enchanting, his dark brown pupils were more glinting than the shining sunlight. "Desiree, "his voice was low, like a murmur in a dream. I was lost for a moment, he put his hands on my waist and held me tightly.

"Do you want to make..." As his lips were gently pressing on mine, he answered the question I had not yet asked.

I was dull for at least ten seconds. When I realized that he was Jonathan Li who I could not love, the first reaction was to push him away. But he held my head and my waist, so there is no room to retreat.

Intimate friction, caressing and stroking weakened my strength, my hands rested against his chest, powerlessly. His tongue gently licked my lips, and the feeling of wet numbness intoxicated my body and brain, propelling me to embrace him. Unexpectedly, his hands on my waist moved to my chest.

I gasped in panic, opening my mouth instinctively and tried to shout, "No!" when his tongue slipped in my mouth, I realized the fatal mistake I had made. When our tongues touched each other, the fragile part of my heart was comforted. I couldn't help moaning and grabbed his arms ecstatically.

Perhaps the moaning stimulated him to invade me with a warmer kiss, intensely and aggressively. His hand moved to my stiff back, scorching my cold body. Then, I began to fall into his arms with a burst of tenderness.

I forgot who he was, I forgot to resist, I forgot myself, but I just felt emptiness, some part of my body needed to be filled. When I completely lost my reason, I held my arms around his neck. He kissed me more aggressively and wildly, suffocating me in a daze.

"Do you like it?" That was the first question he asked after he kissed me. I was so embarrassed that I shook my head with my blushing face buried in my bath towel. It's a pity that my first kiss was captured by him. But the sad thing was – I should have liked it!

His magnetic voice whispered vaguely in my ear, "It's alright. I will let you love it gradually. "

His words sent an electric current through my heart, and I wrapped my trembling body with a towel tightly, pretending not to have heard the pounding of my heart. I was not sure I could resist such a kiss next time!

I seized the moment to ask a question which I should not have asked. Biting my teeth, I decided to figure it out anyway and asked, " Steven Luo... Is he ever coming back?"

His eyes turned cold and he said, "Haven't I told you not to think of him? Why do you miss him now?"

"You promised to give him eight years, and it is exactly eight years today," I said.

"Why do you remember so clearly?" he said.

For the first time, I saw him so infuriated, the veins on his forehead were bulging, his eyes were furious and his powerful hands seemed to crush me and he shouted, "I told you that he will never come back! Why are you asking?"

"None of your business!" I yelled. Then I pushed him away and ran back to my room, slamming the door. This was the only way for me to express my dissatisfaction.

What a pity! I wasted eight years in vain, my whole world was under his control. After a while, I heard the front door slam. I saw him drive away, but he never came back. For the first time in eight years, he didn't come home for the night. It was also the first time that I sat by the window and stared at the sky until the stars and moon sunk and the sun rose.

I had thought there would be a lot of chances to kill him when I stayed with him, but on that day, I came to realize the truth. Staying with a man like him for too long would give me more chances to fall in love with him!

I didn't know when I formed these habits: The way I would go back to my room after he came home, and how I would fall asleep after he tucked me in and kissed me on my forehead. I was accustomed to seeing him in the morning, then I would be wide awake, judging his mood from the color of his clothes. I got used to sitting with him on the sofa quietly, just sitting, no words. I had tried my best to restrain my heart, finally, I opened it up to Jonathan!

When it was time to go to school, I went downstairs listlessly. I was about to go out when the maidservant, Emma stopped me and said, "Miss Desiree, Sir Jonathan wants you to have breakfast first, then you can go to school."

My heart stopped, and I turned around quickly and asked, "Has he already come back?"

"No! He called me early in the morning to tell me to prepare cake and milk for you," she said. I was a little disappointed and put down my schoolbag, sitting down to eat. Facing the empty seat, my heart was empty, too. I had no appetite to eat food.

My mind was filled with unanswered questions, "Where did he go? Did he have another woman for the night? Did he kiss her the way he kissed me?"

"Didn't I love him?" I wondered if I was fooling myself.

After I finished an insignificant class, eventually, break time came. I packed my bag and prepared to skip class. Just walking out of the school gate, I saw the car, which was used for picking me up. It was parked outside. I went to the driver and asked curiously, "Why are you here?"

He said, "The boss told me I should wait for you until you come out after school. After I dropped you off, I waited here for you."

"Well!" I opened the door and got in. "I just have a ballet to watch," I told him.

The fabulous scene, the lights dance steps, the melody, and the most touching legend, it was no wonder that Swan Lake became a classic. But there seemed to be something wrong with my senses. When the devil died, the audience smiled, except me, I was the only one crying.

That sword did not strike the devil's heart, but mine! The expression was not that of the devil, but that of Jonathan when he roared at me. After the loud applause, everything was over. I hugged my knees, crying bitterly.

I felt the pain as if he died in my arms, and his loving heart stopped beating, little by little. The pain suffocated me and brought me to the brink of death. Hatred was a very torturous thing. Why was it entangled with love? I warned myself that I couldn't fall in love with him. It was not allowed.

When I got used to looking at him, I began to understand him, it also was the time I fell in love with him! I would like to leave, escaping the love and hatred. What filled my brain was the scene of him killing my whole family. I could see every drop of blood. Wherever I went, I could not forget the piercing hatred.

I bit my hand to let myself regain my strength from the pain. I couldn't leave, even if I died! I stood up feebly and walked away step by step after everyone left with a happy smile. Some people said that when people were in great sorrow, it would rain. It was true. Standing at the door of the theater, I was met with fine rain. Every drop of water hit the ground, just like my tears.

Suddenly I wanted to hold him and burst into tears. I squatted on the ground, with my knee in a painful position. I couldn't hold him to cry, because if I embraced him, I was afraid that I could not let go!

A transparent umbrella opened in front of me, blocking out the cold rain.