11 Hate You

The next morning I woke up in mama Mei's bed and the air smelt delicious.

I got out of bed and went to the kitchen to find her humming and dancing while making breakfast.

I was happy but my heart felt heavy.

The headache was gone but the heartache was still there.

I wondered why Yoshino was laying next to me holding my hand but then again, from that day on I wanted nothing to do with him.

I went into the kitchen and gave mama Mei a kiss on the cheek and she gave me mango juice.

We sat down at the dining table and she told me what to do and what not to do regarding the baby.

I listened to her carefully and continued to eat.

After a few more minutes, the doorbell rang and she went an answered it.

After she left, harried footsteps entered the passage then into the kitchen, when I looked at this person's face, it was Yoshino.

He looked at me deeply then walked slowly towards me and sat next to me at the dining table, I didn't look at him and continued to eat my breakfast.

After I was done he asked: "Can we speak?"

I looked over at him and our eyes met, my heart started beating fast and I nodded my head.

Yoshino: "Ty-chan you know what a child means to me, you of all people know this all too well so how could you?"

Me: "Mn, I know."

Yoshino: "Then why?"

Me: "Because you don't love me anymore."

Yoshino: "What nonsense is that you know I've loved you since the first day we met, so how can you say I don't love you?"

He looked anxious while saying this.

Me: "If you love me then why did you betray me?"

After I asked him this question he looked at me then looked down at the floor and started biting his bottom lip.

I wanted to cry!

The two of us, we couldn't express ourselves properly to each other, even though it was easy to express ourselves to each other.

Yoshino: "Kang Min Hee, I betrayed you, I've felt bad since the beginning and I feel worse now, I didn't know that she would end up pregnant. I was careful but not careful enough."

He stood up from the chair and looked down at me, he moved the chair away and got down on his knees and hugged me against my stomach.

Yoshino: "I'm sorry, I fucked up, I shouldn't have but I did and when I wanted to stop I couldn't, I really wanted to, I tried."

He stopped hugging me and looked at me, he grabbed my face and when I saw his my heart broke!.

Yoshino was crying.

Yoshino: "I really tried but you? You make it hard for me, I wanted to do so many things with you but it seemed like I was forcing everything on you, so I just stopped, I wanted you to speak to me, feel safe around me and let me hold you where ever we went but you constantly pushed me away. I know you aren't the type that likes to be in crowded place and I know you've enjoyed being with me but you and me? I don't think we're supposed to be together. I really don't understand this because I only love you."

I could see that he was hurt.

He would pause, to stop himself from stuttering but it didn't help, he started to stutter and sob.

Yoshino: "She gave me everything I wanted, at first I tested her out on how she would react if I did certain things to her, the things I wanted to do with you and I slowly began to imagine you in her, then we went too far and started sleeping together… I know I'm wrong for what I did and there's no excuse, I'm older and should know better but Min Hee, why didn't you tell me that you were carrying our child?"

Me: "I tried but you never came home."

Yoshino: "You should have tried harder!"

Me: "I did but you ignored me!"

He looked at me and his expression changed, I started crying and he wiped my tears away and asked: "Why did you kill our child?"

Me: "Because you don't love me."

Yoshino looked at me and his face twisted slightly and said in a deep and low voice: "You had no right to do that, don't I have a say in whether or not my child lives?"

Me: "Yoshino, you don't love so why would you love our child."

He stood up looked down at me and raised his arm.

And slapped me.

I ended on the floor and looked up at him, he said: "Stop fuckin saying I don't love you."

He kicked the chair away from behind me and pulled me up by my clothes and said: "I love you, I really do, but you killing my child is making me hate you, don't show your face in front of me again because I don't know what I'll do the next time I see you."

He put me down and walked out of the kitchen, I went to the sink and washed my face.

I walked to the lounge and mama Mei looked at me, she touched the side of my face that was smacked and said she was sorry for not stopping him.

She told me this was something I had to deal with and being hated by him was one of it.

She also told me a man will never forgive a woman for what she has done but a woman will always forgive a man for what he has done but never forget.

I angered Yoshino.

I made him hate me.

But I… still loved him.

I realised too late that I love him and I should have fought for him.

I should have cut that bitch Erina open and showed him that there was nothing inside her.

I should have never lied to him because my children look like him.