21 Yoshino's Conviction

Your father is alive and well.

No person deserves this.

I know he messed up our relationship but really now?

All her lies and schemes are going overboard.

I know him.

I know him well.

All he ever wanted was a child and a wife that loved him.

That's why I left him, to take away what he wanted the most.

I knew that Erina was bad news from the moment I saw her, I know that something terrible would happen but what happened to Yoshino was worse than what happened to me.

For her to lie like that, there is no reason to but she did it.

I wanted to make her pay for hurting the man I love, I wanted to kill her but if I did, would that make the situation better?

So when Misaki told me that Yoshino started sleeping around, I got worried, I wondered if he was sick, I wanted him to come live with us but I stopped myself.

I couldn't face him, what was I supposed to say?

So when I had my mid-life crisis, I schemed with Misak and we hired someone to get his semen, what surprised me the most was that Misaki would always return with a container full.

We tested it and I fell pregnant, I was so happy but before I could give birth to mine and Yoshino's fourth child, I had to tell my children about their father.

At first, I didn't know where to begin, I asked my mother for advice and she told me to start from the beginning.

I listened to her and I did, I told them everything, I told them I loved their father and I want them to love him too.

I told them that they shouldn't be angry at him and that all the problems that happened between Yoshino and I, had nothing to do with them, it was between us, between their parents.

Their mother and father.

That day, my children cried with me, we cried happy tears and sad tears.

I said goodnight to Yoshiro and Yoshiyuki.

And I spoke to Yoshino.

When I looked into my child's eyes I could see that he did not care about all the things I said, and even though he cried with us, he seemed off.

I asked Yoshino what the problem was and he said to me, "I can't forgive those people for what they have done to you."

I was confused, what they did to me?

I asked Yoshino what he was talking about and he said, "Mommy, you didn't tell us the whole truth, you just told us what you want us to know, Misaki, told us already what happened between you and that man, I can't accept him as my father, he treated you horribly and I that is not on.

You are my mother and anyone, I mean anyone that thinks they can step on you, belittle you, make you feel, like you are with nothing, is making an enemy out of me; I've told you before and I'm going to tell you again, you carried me and my siblings for nine months, you raised me and made me the person I am today, and I know you treat me like I'm special, just because I'm gay, I appreciate it but mother I am strong, you don't need to be strong anymore, I will fight your battles for you.

I will work hard and buy you everything you need, I will look after my siblings but that will never happen because we feel the same, the three of us made you and uncle our role models, you are our goal and I want to not share your burdens, I want to take them from you and make them disappear, I want you to be lazy and just do what you want.

Mommy, I love you and I can't explain to you how angry I am, I've cried many times before today because I know how hard you and uncle worked and I can't repay you back for anything, that's why I work so hard at school, I already know what I want to do in the future and that is to take care of you and repay uncle for everything he has done for us.

But please understand, no matter how hard you try, even if that man begs us for forgiveness, I can't promise you that I will forgive him, not him, not his father, not his stepmother and if I see that woman that tried to kill me and my siblings, I don't know what I will do, but forgiving her is something that will never happen."

Yoshino's words, this 14-year old's words, how did this happen?