Chapter 192 - So Much For Domestic Bliss

ALERT! Beginning tomorrow the chapter updates will be happening 1 hour later (so the time this chapter published will be the FIRST chapter of the day, and the second will post an hour later - 4:30pm and 5:30pm Los Angeles time.)

*****

~ SASHA ~

She joined Zev for the rest of his foraging just in case there were any other Chimera prowling the valley.

He'd found a patch of the bloodwort right before she screamed, so after Minos disappeared around the valley corner, Zev had taken her hand and led her back to the trees where he'd been working.

They were both quiet. Zev, because he was focused. Sasha because something was bothering her. Something about this whole situation that had only come home to her when she'd listened to that male…

She watched Zev work, quickly and efficiently finding the stalks of the plant that held the best leaves this late in the season, and put them in the small foraging bag he'd brought. As he worked, he explained.

"It's only the leaves that will work. You can grind them into a paste when they're green that will help blood clot and wounds to seal so they can heal with less scarring. Or you can dry them and make a powder to sprinkle. I'll do both," he said distractedly.

She stood behind him while he knelt over the plants, his broad back rippling under his jacket as he reached and cut, focused on his task. And yet, even in that, his eyes kept drifting back to her, and more than once he stroked a hand down her calf.

Despite her unease, Sasha's heart swelled with love watching him work like this, his simple, clear understanding of what he was to do and how to do it… it touched her somehow. Made his strength seem deeper. Such a simple task, yet she wouldn't have known to do it—or how. When he finally stood, sliding his hooked knife back into its sheath, then putting everything into the satchel, he found her staring at him.

"What?" he asked, going still.

"You're just… I love you, Zev. Watching you. I'm just always kind of in awe."

He frowned. "Why?" It was a genuine question, she realized. He wasn't inviting compliments, he really didn't understand her response to him.

With a surge of emotion, she stepped into him, putting her arms around his waist and laying her head against his chest. He hugged her close.

"Sash, what's—?"

"You always know what to do," she said softly. "You always know the right way forward. And you don't… you don't make a fuss. You just do it. I wish I could be that way."

He pulled her head up so he could meet her eyes, his forehead furrowed. "It's not true that I always know what to do. At all. Look at the clusterfuck of the last five years. I should have moved on this sooner, Sash. I should have seen it. Should have known."

"But as soon as you did, you changed. I… I'm not sure I could have… it's hard to admit when I've been wrong. I would have been stuck longer than you, I think. Because I wouldn't have been willing to look at myself and admit I was wrong."

He stroked her hair and stared at her, his eyes pinched with concern.

She made herself laugh to break the tension, to cover for the sinking feeling in her gut. "It's the only reason I'm still here, Zev. Because I refused to admit to my family and friends that I was wrong about you, even when it was all they could see."

His forehead furrowed and he held her face. "But you weren't wrong, Sash. That wasn't stubbornness. That was strength. Because I did love you—I do. I always have. Fighting for the right thing, that's not a weakness. That's a strength."

"But how to do you tell the difference?" she asked honestly. "How do you know when to fight and when to look at yourself?"

He blinked, frowning thoughtfully. "I guess… I guess I try to always question myself, but I'm honest with myself, too. If I'm certain I'm right, I stick with it, even when others fight. But if I'm wrong… I don't."

Sasha sighed and leaned her forehead into his chest. They held each other for a long time, before she pulled away.

"Let's get back to the cave," she said, then despite the darkness creeping up on her heart, she almost snorted. That was a sentence she'd never imagined herself saying casually.

Zev smiled and even in her funk, her blood heated at the suggestion that flashed in his eyes.

*****

~ ZEV ~

He'd almost taken her again as soon as they got back to the cave, but he knew he needed to prepare the bloodwort while it was still fresh. So he made himself keep his hands to himself while he plucked the darkest leaves to dry, and put the lighter ones aside in a mortar and pestle left in the box next to the fire.

He got busy, consumed with his task and barely noticed when Sasha offered to cook them both dinner. It made sense, after all. He was busy and she wasn't.

But an hour later, as he stood next to a tall, thin table near the waterfall, crushing leaves and testing the paste for the correct texture, Sasha cursed and there was an almighty clang as the massive cast iron frying pan tumbled to the floor of the cave, spilling fat sausages to roll around on the stone.

Zev rushed to help her, dragging her to the waterfall and pressing her hand under it. "Keep it there," he said quickly. She nodded with tears in her eyes, but didn't move when he stepped away.

Grabbing the thick towel he used for holding the hot metal, and getting it balanced on the grate over the flames again, he used a fork to pick up the sausages and throw them back into the pan, where they sizzled immediately.

"You can't keep cooking them! They've been on the floor!" Sasha protested, looking like she might take her hand out from under the cold water and come after him. Zev shot her a warning look not to move and put the last of the sausages back into the pan.

"This isn't your world, Sash. We don't have refrigerators and electricity. We hunt for food, and nothing gets wasted. Cooking them properly will kill any germs. And we can't afford to throw them away."

He straightened, brushing his hands off on his leathers and turning to face her.

Sasha stared at him, looking so miserable he hurried towards her.