Chapter 276 - Missing You

~ ZEV ~ 

The walk had taken more out of him than he expected. Not wanting Allory to change his mind, Zev stayed on his feet, ate some of the dried beef, and made small talk with the male. But soon he became light-headed and to make an excuse to lay down, suggested he build the fire early. Allory watched him closely, but encouraged him to go ahead.

Sighing with relief, and only wincing when he had his back to the healer, Zev got down on the stone next to the fire pit and took his time building and lighting the fire, pleased when it was crackling merrily.

He hadn't realized he was feeling chilled, until the warmth of the flames washed over him. But then all he wanted to do was sink into the furs, pull them over his head, and sleep.

He battled through the urge for another half hour, but when his head began to ache, he gave up. "I need to lay down," he muttered, crawling the few feet to the furs, stripping off, keeping his teeth clenched against chattering as the cold seemed to invade his bones. 

Allory shook his head. "I wondered when you'd stop being stubborn."

Zev froze in the act of pulling back the furs. "You knew?"

The male grinned. "I wanted to see whether you'd actually pass out, or be smart enough to admit how tired you were. I'm glad you admitted it. If you'd passed out first, I would have had to insist that you not stay here for another couple of days until I could be certain you wouldn't hurt yourself."

Zev opened his mouth, but Allory flapped a hand at him. "Just rest. I'll stay until moonlight, then leave some broth warming next to the fire. If you wake hungry, drink that before eating anything solid. You may still have issues with your stomach for a day or two."

Zev sank into the furs gratefully. "Thank you," he said, his eyes already half closed. "I'll do that."

He thought he'd fall asleep immediately, as soon as his head hit the furs, but as he snuggled in to find warmth, he caught a faint trace of Sasha's scent still on the furs from night here when he'd first been acknowledged.

The smell cut him like a blade, slicing his skin open and baring his chest. His breath caught like the stab of pain was real.

With a groan that he prayed Allory would think was just relief, he buried his face in that side of the furs, inhaling deeply to catch any trace of her on the fur. His mind danced with images of Sasha during the solitude—smiling, sleepy, sensual… Zev swallowed hard and reached for her instinctively through the bond, only to find the place where she should be in his chest and in his mind, hollow and aching.

The pain of it stole his breath again.

Where was she? At the headquarters. He would have gambled his life on it. It's the only place Nick would have felt certain she couldn't contact anyone they didn't want her in touch with. And the only place the Board would have felt comfortable gathering to meet her.

He didn't doubt that Nick's summary of what was needed was real. He didn't doubt that they wanted the Alpha there, to pin them down and make sure they'd work in alignment with the Board—or force them to.

But they wouldn't have reckoned on his resourceful, intelligent mate.

You've got this, Sash, he breathed down the bond, though it blew away from him and echoed into nothing.

His pride in her, his certainty was short lived. Just because he knew where she would be didn't mean he knew what state she was in.

Nick's treatment of her would be directly influenced by what she said and how she behaved. As long as he believed he could convince her—by whatever means—to work with them, he'd be accommodating and open. But the moment it became clear that she was resisting…

A tiny whine rolled out of his throat.

She was probably in one of the apartments. As long as she hadn't done anything crazy, they'd let her sleep in a bed. But what if she'd tried to free the females immediately? What if they'd caged her? Or worse?

Was she comfortable? Warm enough? Was she in pain?

Zev didn't know, and it was going to kill him. Now that he was in a place he could relax, and there were no distractions, suddenly the beckoning abyss of sleep didn't seem quite so appealing.

What if Sasha returned and he didn't hear her?

What if she returned and the bond didn't reconnect?

What if she was dead and he didn't even know it?

No, she couldn't be, he reminded himself as his heart began to pound painfully again. If she'd died, he would have died too.

He found an odd comfort in that. It was something he could know with certainty, at least. But also… also it meant that if she left this plane of existence, he would go with her.

Assuming they even went to the same place.

Tormented by a sudden image of himself, lifted out of this life, but torn from her, Zev whine again.

"Are you in pain?" Allory asked quietly, compassionately.

"Not the kind you can do anything about," Zev rumbled. He didn't raise his head from the furs. Didn't want the male to see the vulnerability in his eyes.

There was silence for a long moment, then Allory sighed. "My mate was taken three years ago," he said quietly.

Zev's heart sank. "I'm so sorry, Allory," he said hoarsely, rolling over in the furs to face the man. "If I'd had any idea—"

"I'm not telling you that because I'm angry or blaming you, Zev. I'm telling you because… because I know how it feels to have your mate torn from you. I know how that feels."

Zev blew out a breath. "Does it ever ease? This… ache?"

Allory shook his head. "No. Honestly. But you get better at accommodating it."

Zev sighed. "I wouldn't wish this on any male."

Allory shrugged. "So many of us share it, Zev. Let us help you. We're walking the same path. I pray yours proves different to ours. That your mate is returned quickly."

The generosity of the man, when Zev had been an active part of his mate being stolen, made Zev want to weep. "Thank you," he rasped.

It took minutes before he could inhale without pain, but when he finally did, as his body began to relax, pulling him towards sleep, Zev lifted this new friend to the Creator and begged for the man to be blessed.

Bring his mate back.

Bring my mate back.

Please?

Because even if you don't love me, I know you love her.

Take care of her now, please, while I can't. Keep her safe…