A Job Well Done

Pimpington smirks while charging like a bull at Meri once again. “Ya startin’ to see how useless this is, Master?!”

Scratch that. I guess there is something I can do, “All I see is a low-level boss monster so weak that he’s about to lose to a team of rookie adventurers,” I spit back at the Pimp.

He doesn’t take it very well and makes a beeline for the Shield Maiden. “Fuck it, let’s see how she handles THIS!” Pimpington’s vines split apart at the ends and unfurl into three new vines each. Now with twelve whips at his command, he spends his energy on manipulating them to whip Meri non-stop without needing to do it himself. He uses his freed hands and feet to kick, punch and scratch at Meri, who hides behind her tower shield at this assault.

The pressure is so intense that she can’t even properly focus long enough to pull off a Reflect. Damn it...! Meri hasn’t given up, though. She fights to push off the despair, and her eyes make it clear she’s still in this.

“MERI!” Sam almost loses her Biding Blade’s charge until I stop her from rushing in. It takes a lot of self-control to hold herself back, but she does so, and her charge continues to build.

Come on, Meri...

“Gods, how did she do it...” Meri mumbles to herself as she grits her teeth. “I-It was a lot like Reflect, just- AH!” Meri reels in pain as several of the vines hit her face. She doesn’t lose ground- her cleats make sure of that. But her left eye is now black and covered in small, thorny cuts. I can hardly look at her without falling into anguish.

“Ya can’t do shit when you’re swarmed in tons of little attacks, huh?” The Pimp sneers as he pummels Meri. He talks a big game, but it’s clear why he hasn’t done this until now. It’s draining the monster’s stamina at a startling rate.

“I-I can do plenty of things!” Meri yells back at her taunter, refusing to give him an inch on her morale. “Like... using... Mom’s... Arts!”

“Y’all can use Reflect if ya want. I’ll just keep myself grounded usin’ my vines and keep attackin’ through the pain!” Pimpington makes good on his promise, extending his vines to latch onto two of the remaining statues tight as can be. It’d take one hell of a Reflect to dislodge him now.

“I’m... not... gonna Reflect...!”

The pimp stutters an attack out of surprise but continues his assault soon after. “Whatever ya got up yo’ sleeve, lil girl, it ain’t enough to take down this pimp! I’LL DO ANYTHING IT TAKES TO GET WHAT I DESERVE!!”

“I’m not gonna take you down, I’m... I’m gonna STUN you!” Meri roars as she takes a single step forward. She twists her hips and thrusts her tower shield outward like she was throwing a right straight.

I sit at the edge of my seat, watching as Meri’s small gratitude crystal crackles with red electricity. Pimpington’s fist collides with the center of her guard, and he falls right into her trap. The entire shield lights up with this lightning-like energy, and it enters the pimp’s body through his glowing, tattooed fist.

This new Art doesn’t have the power of, say, one of Zutiria’s lightning spells, but I don’t think it’s meant to. If I had to guess, the electricity was sent directly into Pimpington’s muscles since he locks up entirely and can’t move whatsoever. His vines loosen and fall to the ground since he can no longer provide the stamina it takes to control them.

Meri falls to the ground, smiling and sweating. “I... I did it... Mom’s Stun Guard...!”

Peri and Cherry jump into the air, raising their fists, and Snow sighs deeply with relief.

No use celebrating early, so I say, “It’s not over! Stand up, Meri! Sam, get ready!”

“A-Alright!!” Meri struggles to get on her feet, almost falling over in the process.

“Fucking bitch, you just keep learning Arts like it’s no big deal, huh!?” Sam frowns with obvious jealousy, walking over to Meri with her sword absolutely packed with an absurd amount of her own energy.

“I-I’m sorry, Sam!” Meri raises her tower shield towards the oncoming Great Blader. “You’ll get better, I promise!”

“Whatever... you ready for this?” The Princess drops her jealous grudge long enough to smile ear to ear and raise her glowing blade up to strike.

“Yeah... let’s finish this once and for all!”

Sam closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. When they open, they’re filled with her rage. She’s trying to channel the Royal Blood safely, and there’s no way I’m going to argue with that. We need to defeat Pimpington at any cost.

Like a hurricane, Sam’s massive sword strike creates an explosion of wind following its arc. The stamina stored within explodes on contact with Meri’s shield and creates a sound so intensely powerful that Peri, Cherry, and Snow all fall over on the ground and cover their ears.

It’s so loud that it’s like we’re actually there.

The three Catfolk screech and hiss, but I can’t spare the energy to help them. All I can bring myself to do is cover my ears and watch the explosive clash explode out into the world. Then, once it’s settled, Meri points her shield right at the pimp. “REFLECT!” She screams, and what happens next causes me to doubt my eyes.

This makes the Reflect that finished the Murdermoth look like child’s play. Faster than I can blink, the kinetic explosion bursts out and flattens him pimp up against the opposite wall.

An enormous, golden crater forms around him as all remaining stone statues in the wake of Meri’s Reflect crumble into nothing. The garden of rose bushes on that side of the room gets torn to complete shreds, too. The entire row of bushes is uprooted and eviscerated just as quickly, leaving only a whirlwind of bright red petal dust scattered in the air.

The slam’s blunt force breaks Pimpington’s remaining horn, and his leathery wings become riddled with innumerable holes from the blast. His entire body becomes one large mass of bruises and cuts, the wind spraying his blood back against the golden crater behind.

Once the explosive Art finishes, a crack forms on the large, stone heart covering his left pectoral muscle. It gives way to a greater web of imperfections before it, too, crumbles to dust. Beneath the stony plating is a tattoo of a heart. It’s gray and dreary to look at, but due to whatever magic coursing through him, the tattoo animates and starts beating as if it were a genuine heart. Color begins to fill the marking, growing just as red as all his others.

“This... this shit... ain’t... how it was supposed to go...” Pimpington coughs, tears forming in his eyes. “Gods, what the fuck... have I be... come...?”

Pimpington falls to the floor amid a thick cloud of pink smoke. Soon after, Sam and Meri fall, too. Their stamina meters have both reached absolute zero- not a shock in the slightest. Sam used everything she had, and Meri has to expend more stamina the greater the attack she’s trying to reflect. No wonder they both fall flat.

Gods, just how much raw strength does Sam actually have in her? I know it was amplified, but... I just can’t fathom the depths here.

“I-Is it over, nyaa...?” Peri picks herself up and warily removes her paws from her ears.

“I think so,” I say while watching Pimpington’s transformation become undone. He is now nude except for the magic, durable underpants that he mentioned wearing. I might have to invest in a pair of those. They must truly be adamant if they can survive being stretched to that extent...

“Girls? You alright?” I ask, and soon Meri and Sam both answer with tired moans. Good enough for now.

“I can’t believe it...” Cherry yawns. A glance at the clock reveals that it’s almost eight in the morning. The girls finished the Pimpfort in just about five hours. Cherry’s not alone- I can scarcely believe it, myself.

“...You really did it, Guild Myaster. You saved them all.” Snow says with a conflicted smile.

As I look into her eyes, I want so badly to hug her in celebration. But I don’t. I look away, and even though it’s very passive-aggressive of me, I tell her. “All of them but one.”

Peri and Cherry don’t let me wallow in awkward tension for long. Peri tackles me to the floor and covers me in a billion chaste kisses. She purposefully avoids my lips, probably wanting to save that for tomorrow. “We did it! We did it! WE DID IT!” She says between smacking her lips against my cheeks.

“Geez,” Cherry grumbles and sits behind me on the floor, blushing. “You’re so shameless, nyaa... gimme some room, he’s gonna be my mate, too.” She giggles and starts kissing me from the other side.

Being peppered with kisses from my two adorable maids is enough to melt my heart and drift me off to heaven. “Girls, please... I can only take so much...” The adrenaline starts to wear off, and an unbearable shadow of tiredness hangs over my head.

They both leave my side and share an unsubtle glare at Snow’s direction, who is doing her best to avoid gaping at the display of affection. Then, suddenly, Snow’s eyes turn back towards the screen. She gasps and begins staring at something else entirely.

“Are you fucking joking?!” I scream, rising to my feet.

Pimpington is standing, walking across the dirtied floor towards his rapier. He’s beaten, bloody, and one of his comically long and curly mustache tips has been cut right off... but he’s on two feet and bends over to take the sword weakly in his hands.

“...Master, they got them stamina potions in they pouches, yeah?” He asks in an unsettling, calm tone.

I remain silent. Why in the Realms would I fucking tell him where their potions are? I watch helplessly as he shakes his head and starts moving towards Sam.

Peri, Cherry, Snow, and I all start screaming at the Taskmaster screen, begging Sam to get up and swat the villain with her blade. He’s so close to being brought down! It can’t end like this... not after everything that’s happened...!

He lowers himself to one knee and reaches inside of Sam’s pouch, lifting out a half-empty green potion. He pops the cork. I close my eyes, slamming the desk harder than I’ve ever hit anything in my life. I feel the wood splinter beneath my fist. Although it hurts, nothing hurts more than the pain I feel inside over failing to lead my adventurers... my girls... to victory.

Sam starts coughing.

I open my eyes in confusion. Pimpington pressed the bottle to Sam’s lips and emptied its contents into her mouth. Her stamina meter refills to half-empty instead of just empty.

I turn on the voice transmission. “Pimpington? What... are you doing?”

As he watches Sam sit up and wipe the fluid off her lips, a warm, genuine smile appears on the enemy’s face. “This pimp already lost the second y’all walked in, Master. Maybe even before that...”

The Princess scoots away as soon as she realizes who just held the bottle to her lips. She gazes at him in astonishment but remains quiet so he can speak.

“Y’know, things might’ve turned out a lot differently fo’ me if I had a Guild Master like you back in Imperalis. Would it be gay if a pimp said he was jealous of yo’ girls, Master?”

I hesitate before saying, “...Only a little.”

“Fuck it. This pimp is jealous of yo’ girls, Master. You care about ‘em, and you ain’t like the rest of your ilk.” He cracks a cheeky smile which I end up reciprocating, almost without my awareness. It’s a very odd sensation to be grinning back at the man who just fought so hard to kill my girls, but...

Sam tilts her head. “What the fuck is all this, then? Are you a good guy or some shit now?”

Pimpington frowns and offers his hand to Sam to help her off the floor. She doesn’t take it, but he doesn’t get offended. “Girl, things ain’t that simple. If someone becomes yo’ friend right after ya fight ‘em, means ya probably gave ‘em brain damage- ya dig? People’s morals and values ain’t so easy to change...”

“If you haven’t had a sudden change of heart, then, what is all this supposed to be?” I ask.

“I didn’t say I didn’t have a change of heart. All I’m sayin’ is I still went through all the things that made me who I am today, ya feel me? Whether ya meant to or not, Master, you pointed out some harsh truths. I can’t ever be Percival Chasteworthe again... but that don’t mean I gotta lose my humanity, either...”

Sam grabs her sword and looks at the pimp. She’s too tired to deal with the emotions at play here. “Are we still fighting, or what?” The potion must not have done much for her, 

“Naw... you won, that’s clear as day. I just got one request, is all. I want to be defeated as a proud swordsman, not as a monster. Ya dig?”

“Sam, what do you say? Think you can give him what he wants?”

“...Yeah, I dig.” She yawns and wipes her eyes, hefting her sword over her shoulder.

The bloody, practically nude swordsman stands several feet away from the tired Princess. He assumes the same stance he took at the beginning of the battle, and Sam, in turn, spreads her feet wide to properly wield her sword.

The two stare each other down in silence until finally, Pimpington lunges towards Sam. He pierces the mighty great blade many times, but the Princess blocks each attack. Her weapon is dangerously close to being more hole than metal, but that doesn’t matter when Sam pulls it back and swings the broadside like a club across his head.

Pimpington falls, along with half of Sam’s weapon. Her fearsome iron slab breaks down the middle, and with a tired groan, she throws the ruined weapon on top of the defeated fencer. I don’t think she’s coherent enough to even care about the state of her sword anymore.

Sam walks over and kicks the unconscious pimp a couple of times before making an ok sign with her hands. “He’s really down this time, Boss...” She yawns again and stretches out.

“So that’s really it, then? For real this time?” Snow sighs. Right as she asks, the door on the balcony opens up, the magical locks disappearing from sight just like all the other doors in the Pimpfort.

“...That’s really it, Snow. Your quest has been completed. For real this time.”