Chapter 48: Mother’s Love (Part 1)

I turned towards the source of the voice and saw a woman with silver hair. It was my mother. She looked at me with a faint smile.

“Mother.”

I sat up straight immediately with a happy smile, showing my emotion when I saw her.

“You look troubled,” she said with a puzzled expression as she walked closer.

“Um, no, it’s nothing, just minor setbacks, that is all.”

To be honest, I didn’t know if I should call it minor. But I’m just playing innocent here.

“Is that so? But even so, you look tired, what say we take a breather for a while. Besides, we are going for lunch later, right?”

I pondered for a while, it wouldn’t be bad to rest for a while. And, the way she was saying it, I can guess she wanted us to eat together.

“I guess it is fine.”

“Splendid! Leave the book, let us sit comfily on the couch.”

She pointed towards the nearby sofa facing the window where one could see the beauty of the view and nature.

I nodded my head and followed behind her like a true gentle and delicate lady.

“By the way mother, where were you? I didn’t find you around the library.”

I didn’t exactly go around searching for her, so I have to ask that.

“... I was inside one of the private rooms.”

She didn’t specifically tell me what room. Well, I did ask Vernon beforehand about Mother, so I quite expected she would be specific. But, whatever, no rush. I can easily determine which room she was using when she returns there.

We reached the sofa and my mother immediately sat down, I could sense that she was mentally tired. I slowly sat down beside her.

“Were you reading novels? How was the one you are currently reading?” I asked.

“... No, not novels.”

I looked at her with a puzzled face.

“Then… may I ask what you were working on?”

She smiled.

“Oh, just some stuff. You need not to concern yourself, focus on your magic lesson.”

I don’t even know if this should be called a lesson since I was self studying. But hey, I’m not complaining that much. It was not like I was not used to self studying.

“Okay…”

She then suddenly patted my head which caught me off guard. She gently caressed the top of my head, which was surprisingly…… pleasant.

“Mother?”

She giggled as she greeted my innocent gaze.

“Nothing, I was just thinking how you have grown. You still looked adorable as ever though.”

She pinched my cheeks. Seriously, why does everyone think I’m adorable? I look beautiful, not cute. Ladies preferred to be called beautiful than being called cute.

“I miss the hug of my baby.”

“!”

She suddenly pulled me and took me into her arms. She was tightly hugging me.

Woah woah! Hey! What the—

I was pretty startled.

“M-Mother?”

She caressed my head gently.

“I missed our mother and daughter moment, just the two of us.”

Her embrace was warm, soft, and comfortable…

“This reminds me of the time when you cried because Eleden kept ignoring you.”

Really? Oh, there were memories like that, I was around six years old that time, pretty vague memory, but it was the time when my eldest brother kept ignoring me. Wait, I don’t mean me, I mean Estelia… that… that was not me.

“It was quite funny honestly. You do know he was just teasing you that time, right?”

“Really?”

Really?

“You haven’t realized?” she asked with an amused smile.

She then rubbed her cheeks to mine as I was still in her arms. It was again out of my expectations, it was soft though. Quite, pleasant...

“After all these years, that was just mere teasing?” I asked.

My mother chuckled. She was clinging so much that I turned stiff. But… this wasn’t too bad...

“Hehehe. How I remember you kept clinging to me that your tears had begun to wet my dress. My cute Estelia.”

“Hm.”

“But now you are growing, sooner or later you’re going to turn into something other than my baby, unable to be easily hugged. I don’t want that. And now you won’t even hug me back, are you embarrassed?”

“What? N-No…”

I never had a mother. I never knew a mother’s warmth, nor their love. I didn’t even have any family. This was a strange moment for me. But, why was I feeling something strange?

Like, my heart was starting to soften.

I wanted it to harden it, but it… hurts. It hurts to force it, it was unpleasant. Like... I just want to let go.

But this was against everything I was. What I told myself.

I was starting to have doubts. Experiencing this moment for the first time, my mindset might be starting to change.

A question crossed my mind.

Was it necessary to keep holding on unto the principles I hold in my past life? This was a new life, a second chance. If such a feeling exists, that I myself can experience this. This warmth, this emotion that I feel I would melt. This delightful, pleasant… and beautiful feeling.

Wouldn’t it be fine?

This wasn’t too bad. I like it.

Mother...

What was I feeling towards other people again? Every time I observed other people, normal people having their normal life.

I remembered again what that was.

Envy.

Why do others have that and I didn’t? I want to experience that.

I want the life that they have.

…

I don’t know.

I don’t know.

It was still strange to feel this. I must not feel such emotions. Emotions are a nuisance. They would only get in the way.

But, get in a way of what?

Everything was starting to become confusing. I do not understand. Why was I confused?

I cannot assess myself. I do not understand.

I tried to recall the lessons they taught to me during my education in the organization. They will guide me. Help me decide.

But before I could, my mother’s calling brought me back to reality.

“Estelia? Estelia? Are you listening?”

“Huh…? Uh, I’m… I’m sorry mother, what were you saying again?”

“Hm? I was saying that you don’t have to be embarrassed and try to deny that you are indeed embarrassed.”

Oh, she was talking while my thoughts were in disarray. I was reminded again that I was still in her arms.

My thoughts became complicated again, it was starting to hurt my head. I do not want to think.

“Mother…”

I… I unconsciously snuggled more into her embrace as I quietly said that single word, even that word I didn’t mean to utter. It just came out of my mouth.

But...

It was comfortable.

I never felt something like this before in my life. This type of comfort was different from normal. Words cannot begin to explain it.

Family.

My mother.

“Estelia? You must be pretty tired, lay down for a while.”

She lowered me and placed my head on her lap. She must have noticed something was wrong with me.

“... M-Mother I’m fine.”

“Nope, relax there for a while.”

With her strong tone, it compelled me to do as she said.

She stroked my hair gently. I took a deep breath, somehow my mind became clearer.

I closed my eyes as I unintentionally savored this moment.

Tearing_Sanctuary

Finally, the competition is over! I can be at ease now. Thank you all for the support. Wew...

Let's see... I think I'll talk a bit about the MC design. Hehe. Initially though, her appearance was gonna be inspired by Jeanne Alter, you know from the Fate Series (cause she's best girl). But, later I decided to have Estelia's eyes color to red. So yeah... the closest character that resembled Estelia is here:

Image source: https://twitter.com/gilangak92/status/1224961443717509120

White haired female characters are always the best hahaha!

I can only dream to have an official character design (I tried practicing digital art, but I gave up lol).

Thanks for the time! Please leave a heart and comment!

Oh, I'm sure some of you are familiar who that character in the photo is. :) Their characters all have badass designs like damn! So cool.

Should I add the photo to the Glossary? Hm...