Chapter 368 - Gavriel Or Gavrael

"Gav… let me heal you…" Evie said, really panicking this time. 

"I'm… fine… Evie…" His voice came out in separate breaths. 

"You're not!"

"Well, at least, this body is very fine, trust me." A faint smile curved on his face. Then he brought her palm to his face instead, as his gaze fixed so intently on her face. He stared at her as if he was trying to memorize every contour, every detail of her features as though he was looking at her for the last time. "Evie…" he called her name so gently and with so much longing that Evie did not know why, but her heart had started to ache immensely. She felt as though needles and daggers were being stabbed into her heart continuously as she hears Gavrael's voice calling out to her. 

This feeling made her feel dread. Why was she feeling like this when she was supposed to be rejoicing now that he is fine, and his dark magic was not going to consume him anymore? Should she not be happy that she did not need to trap him in a crystal anymore? Evie had already allowed her magic to run through and checked that his body really seemed just fine. He was just a little weakened like he was completely drained but he did not seem to be hurt so badly. So why? What was with that unpleasant feeling that seemed to be growing by the moment? What was with that look on his face?

"Y-yes?" she managed to say, not knowing why there was already a painful lump burning in her throat and that made it harder for her let out a sound.

His thumb caressed her cheek so gently and emotion flowed in those usually frozen and strict eyes of his. Though Evie was confused, she was certain that the emotions she was feeling at the moment were hurt and sadness, as if she was about to lose someone she held so, so very dear. But what she saw in Gav's eyes was just so much more. She could see such intense sadness and pain. It seemed ridiculous in this situation, but its intensity seemed to have made her own emotion at the moment looked puny and insignificant against his. 

"I'm going…" He uttered, smiling faintly, the look in his eyes was just too heart breaking that she could hardly stand it anymore. And before she knew it, silent tears were flowing from her eyes. 

"Going… where? What do you… no!" Evie's body froze with shock and panic. "You're not going anywhere. You're not allowed to! NO!" She was really panicking right now. 

Gavrael lifted his other hand, and he cupped her face lovingly as though he were touching the most precious treasure. Then he pulled her to him and kissed her lips lightly. But that light kiss felt so emotional Evie felt fat tears continue to fall from her eyes. "Don't cry…" he whispered and then gently bumped his forehead against hers. "Listen, Evie…" he whispered. "I'm letting Gavriel return to you now."

"W-what?" Evie was confused at his words.

Gavrael let her go and looked at her bewildered face. His thumb wiping her tears that were falling still. "Don't cry…" he said again, "because Gavriel will finally come back to you the moment I'm gone. You've been searching for him so hard and for so long…" He cracked a smile so sad that she could hear her own heart breaking.

"No! Wait. Gav… what… what are you saying?" Evie stammered, her thoughts in a whirl that she could not piece everything together yet.

But he just smiled again before pulling himself up and hugged her tight. To him, this was the last time he would be enjoying this privilege. "Thank you for everything, Evie… please… be safe and happy." He kissed her once more before Evie could speak and when he pulled away, Evie saw his tears flowing from those beautiful eyes and she became paralyzed. 

"I love you, Evie… I love you so deeply you have no idea how much. And you will never know from now on. I wish I…" he trembled as he kissed her knuckles, his tears kept flowing silently. "I wish I could have even just one extra day with you… just one more day… but my time is up –" 

"S-stop." Evie began to shake as well. Her heart was hurting so much, she felt it ripping apart. She never thought she would see him cry like this. She could not bear this pain. "No. Y-you're not going anywhere, Gav. You will be with me… not just for one more day but forever –"

"I am not supposed to be here anymore, Evie. You know that, right?" His voice was sad but calm.

Evie shook her head, her tears falling like raindrops. Her mind seems to be refusing to understand or accept what he was saying. 

"I'm not supposed to exist anymore, Evie. I belong to a time and space that no longer exist. And now it's time for me to cease to exist as well, and for your Gavriel to come back. I don't want to leave you but… no matter. I'm not worried anymore. Because I know Gavriel will be there for you. That guy…" he let out a short breathless laugh. "I'm relieved because he loves you as much as I do –"

"It's because you and him are one, Gav." Evie said, choking. "That's why you shouldn't be saying all these things. You can't… I love you! So damned much. You know that! Gavriel or Gavrael… I don't care what or who you think you are. I love you no matter what. I love every side of you, not just your good and bright side but the dark side as well. Your past, present or future self… I love them all because they're all part of you. They are all you!" 

He smiled. A happy and yet painful smile. He looked like he had something more to say but he planted another kiss on her forehead instead. Then he hugged her tight again, as if this was the very last time that he would be holding her this way. His heart had swelled at what she said. She truly loved him too… he could not believe it. But the way she was crying for him like this, her confession… it all made his heart bleed from both happiness and sadness. He was beyond happy to know that she indeed loves him. But he was sad and pained at the same time because… he had to go now. He was going to leave her now. For good this time. There was no more another 'next time'. 

When he pulled away, Evie saw the blue of his eyes slowly disappearing. "I love you." he whispered again. 'Good bye… Evie…' he added in his mind and with one last smile, the blue in his eyes completely dissipated as the last wisp of dark magic left his body. Then his eyes closed before his body become limp as his head fell forwards and landed on Evie's shoulder. 

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Found this art on instagram and I think this is how Gav looked like when he cried :(