Chapter 446 - This Gamble

"Leah… Leah…" he continued calling that name while his body shook like a leaf in the wind and his deep voice sounded as though it was drenched in so much sorrow that Vera could feel her own heart break without knowing why. 

Vera felt like she was breaking down as well since the moment he called that name out with his broken voice. And as he continued calling that name out, her heart kept on breaking like glass being hammered on again and again. 

She stayed very still, letting him hug her so tight as he called out someone else's name. Then a small, pained smile curved slightly on her face. Why? Why must you end my dream this soon? She knew that with her luck, all that had happened was just too good to be true. Just as she wanted to throw herself fully into this dream come true, it all came crashing down like a house made of glass.

Now she understood why. Why he was treating her so carefully and delicately like this. All his too good to be true actions towards her… it came as a crystal-clear flash to her now… it was all because he was seeing the image of someone else superimposed over her. It was now that she finally realized that he had never called her name even though he already knew what it was. And it just … hurts so very bad. 

Of course… how naïve of her to think someone she had just met would truly care for her… would even fall in love with her. Now that she was rudely awakened, it was laughable how she had indulged in her own wild fantasies. A sad and very soft chuckle escaped her red lips, unnoticed by Gideon who was currently lost in his own memories.

It was unbelievable how he had made her feel like she was in heaven and then made her feel like she had fell into a burning hell the very next moment. 

Vera let out a shaky sigh and her hands moved to his back. She started patting and stroking his broad back so gently as though she was trying to soothe his pain. It was obvious to her that he was in so much pain just like her and with all his trembling right now, she could tell that his pain must be much worse compared to hers. He felt so broken in her arms. Who would have thought that this man would suddenly shiver and tremble in her arms like this? She did not need to ask who this Leah was to understand his pain. For a man like him to be reduced to a state like this… Vera could already tell who Leah was in his life. 

Silently, Vera continued caressing Gideon's back absentmindedly. Her baby blues had long since turned back to their previous doll-like emotionless eyes as her gaze fell straight to the window, looking at the crystals gleaming up there until Gideon's trembling stopped. Her heart felt as chilled as the cool and icy crystals that worked as the sky in the Under Lands – bright as though it was the Sun, but in actual fact, without an iota of warmth. It could be said that her heart had lost all warmth and felt as though it were made of lead, exerting a heavy weight in the cavity of her chest.

She eventually felt him become very still for a long while. Then he pulled away, carefully. 

Their eyes met. The blue fire in his eyes were much calmer now. As calm as the eye of a storm. 

He abruptly averted his gaze from hers and looked at her lips. She scoffed in her mind, feeling contempt for herself after seeing his actions and could only accept that she was only a body that resembled that Leah he was obviously pining for. She saw his brows creased slightly before he held her face, resting his hand below her ear as his thumb settled near her lip. 

"Stay put," he said then he began licking the blood on her lips again. 

Vera let out another shaky breath as she shut her eyes. She viciously told herself not to overthink things. It was unbelievable how even breathing seemed to hurt so much, the pain from her wounds could not even hold a candle to it. Ah… this gamble… it was just the beginning, but she was already fading away, knowing that there was no way for her to win this man over as hers. He was already someone else's. At that thought, there was a pain like a thousand needles pricking her heart. 

The heat from his erotic tongue no longer brought her pure pleasure. There was a flavour of pain along with it now and yet she did not want to push him or pull herself away. 

It seems she was trapped now. She had willingly walked towards a trap that was himself despite his earlier warnings. This pain was not his fault… he had warned her. 

Still, she would not allow herself to regret it. She will never regret. This pain… Vera told herself it will dull as well eventually, just like how all her other wounds healed over time. She just needed to hold on for a little while longer like she always does for as long as she could bear. And after that, the pain would just slowly become numb. 

When he was done, Vera did not rush to open her eyes, even when she felt his gaze on her. Until she felt him climb off the bed, only then did she allow her body to relax a little. 

Opening her eyes, Vera took another quiet breath before she turned her eyes to look at him, standing there, his back facing her. 

"You are…" Vera's voice echoed softly in the room, sounding defeated and tired, "… going to give me over to Azrael today, right?" Her eyes then lowered a little at the end of her question.

He stiffened at her question. Then she saw his hands turned into tight fists. 

"He… Azrael was the one who agreed to have me as his bed warmer after all." She added with a nonchalant tone as she informed him and then he was suddenly before her, eyes blazing violently as he bent over her. 

"I was the one who brought you over here!" he told her in a controlled voice. However, his body was so tightly coiled up and tense that Vera could clearly sense it. "So you stay here. With me. You're my bed warmer now." His voice hardened as he almost snarled the last line out. 

"But… what if I choose to be Azrael's bed warmer?" Vera retorted, her eyes that were lifeless and doll-like, looked into his. Her voice dull and sounded tired. 

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