Chapter 470 - Tonight

He was truly going to cut her off from him now. Why? That was what she did not quite understand. Why would he willingly choose such a dark and depressing future, and one that did not have hope whatsoever? And why did he not want to change course at all? Was there really nothing she could do to make him change his mind? Could she not really do anything for him? 

Vera knew now this man was so much like her. He was in the dark too, suffering all by himself and she knew whatever he was going through, whatever burden he was carrying, was something she might not even be able to imagine at all. All she knew right now was that there was really a huge difference between them. She had found her hope in him, and he was now the sole reason she wanted to keep going in this journey called life. But this man did not find his hope. Or rather, he did not want to find his hope, and it hurts her so much that she could not be his hope just like how he was to her. 

She just wished that she could be someone who means so much to him, or even just enough for him to at least have second thoughts. She would be so happy if she was just enough to make him at least hope for a brighter future. Just enough to make him change his mind. But it seems that she could not even become someone like that for him. And that was what hurts her the most, knowing that it was futile for anyone to force someone to change their mind. Because she herself was like that. No matter how painful it was, still, nothing can ever force or make her stop wanting him. 

This was why she understood what he was going through and if her, backing off will at least lessen his burden and suffering, then she would back off. She wanted to do anything and everything for him. And if that includes sending her away from him was something that he truly wished to do, then she would respect that, no matter how painful it will be. Even if it ends up killing her inside all over again. 

Vera's grip on him was so tight but he held himself still and did not move to return the hug. She could almost feel the vibration of his unwavering resolve and she could only smile to herself bitterly.

She sighed out, slow and deep. And they both just stayed still, until Vera opened her mouth again. 

"Before I…" Vera's weak voice echoed in his ear, still not letting go of him. "Before I let you go, could you grant me one last request?" Vera pleaded and there was something in her voice that caused him to look at her face.

Gideon's body stilled he seemed to even stop breathing for a few moments as he stared into her blue eyes that seemed to be so vivid and brighter than ever. 

"May I have you… all of you tonight?" Vera whispered, hugging him even tighter, as her voice shook. "Just for tonight. Tomorrow… I… I won't bother you anymore. I promise…" 

A long silence reigned between them, and Vera's heartbeat began to thump so loudly, praying that he would not reject this one last request from her.

"Please?" her voice echoed out again, as soft as a kitten's mew and Gideon shut his eyes closed. She is doing it again. And the warning bells were ringing damned loud again. 

But as everything inside him was still in turmoil, his treacherous lips opened and answered her. "Fine, just for tonight." His voice nearly shook as he said that as his insides screamed at him. F*ck it all to hell. He knew this will only complicate things. He could already see himself battling himself to the very extreme again once the night is over. But he knew he would willingly go through that again to grant her wish one last time. 

He felt her pull away from him and when he saw a soft smile on her face, Gideon suddenly felt his knees weakened and he fell back on the floor. And since Vera did not let go at all even as he stumbled back, she ended up straddling him as he sat on the floor. 

"Thank you…" she whispered, thanking all the gods above that he did not reject her this time and she could at least have this one wonderful memory with him.

And Gideon shut his eyes again, inhaling her unique scent, and reveled in the feeling of her soft body that was pressed against him. "This means… you're all mine tonight, right?" She whispered out a little shyly.

"Yes. Have all of me, all you want." He answered, helplessly. "Just for tonight."

"Mm. Just for tonight." She echoed and in the next few seconds that passed, they remained in that position, just listening to each other's breath and each other's heartbeats, feeling each other's warmth shared between them. 

Vera's heart finally calmed down a little. The pain was still there but he was still here with her and whatever time she had left with him, she wanted to make the most out of it. 

"Do you want to go out somewhere?" he asked but Vera shook her head immediately. She did not want to go anywhere else but just remain here. Knowing that if they go out, someone or something might take his attention or the person himself away from her. Even if it was only for a moment, she was not willing to share him or his time with any others tonight. He is finally going to be all hers – even though it was only one night – tonight. Therefore, she was going to jealously keep him in here, guarding him in this room, with her.

"I want to…" Vera swallowed as she paused. There was a slight hesitation in her actions, but her eyes looked decisive as she swallowed hard. Tonight, she was going to give her all to him. Everything she had left – all were going to him. She was not holding anything back and would offer it all to him. Since he did not want her heart, there was only one thing left that she could give to him, her body. It might not mean much to him. But to her, this was all she had left of herself. She had already given him her heart and soul… her body, she will also give this to him too and she knew in her heart that she would never regret this. Because she knew that this man was all she wanted and craved for in her entire life. 

When she pulled away, her eyes were sparkling with an intense gleam the next time she met his gaze. "I want to make love with you, Gideon…" 

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[4/8]

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