Chapter 529 - I Am Him

"How did you manage to find that other portal in order for you to cross over to the Under Lands?" Evie asked and once again, Gavriel had quite a long pause where he did not say anything. 

Evie patiently waited but his pause made her heart raced a little. She could not help it. She had the feeling as though he was not quite willing to tell her what was going on in his heart.

"I remembered it," he finally answered, his voice heavy and she could sense a little hesitancy in it. Evie abruptly rose and looked at him. His reply had shocked her thoroughly. Was this not supposed to happen?!

Her eyes went wide with surprise. "You… you remember?! Does this mean…" 

Seeing the look on her face made Gavriel remember that night the both of them had talked about Gavrael in Raven's castle. Back then, he was so crazily jealous of Gavrael that he could barely contain himself. He had to abandon their talks halfway and seduce her to hide his emotions. If not, she would definitely find out how desperately jealous he was of Gavrael. He just could not accept the fact that his Evie had also fallen in love with Gavrael too. No matter how much she explains and reassures him that she loves Gavrael as well, only because he is also Gavriel, Gavriel still could not get rid of the wild jealousy that kept rearing its head within his heart like a poisonous viper. He had felt so bitter to the point that he had even regretted his last-minute decision that he had made at that time. He should have just allowed Gavrael and everything related to him to just completely disappear from existence and from the current timeline during that very last time he had spoken to Gavrael. 

However, since the very moment he laid eyes on the portal, he had started to see memories. Gavrael's memories to be exact. He was him, felt all his pain, saw through his thoughts as well as he crossed through the portal. Gavrael was smiling despite all the pain because all he could think about was seeing Evie again. Gavriel could feel the way Gavrael's heart beat for Evie, and he realized that it was exactly the same as his own. And when he began to see Evie in his mind, Gavriel felt his heartbeat racing too. 

The Evie that he saw, that was the Evie before Gavrael turned back time. She was Gavrael's Evie. But the moment Gavriel saw her, his heart just skipped a beat and started to beat for her as well. Even though he only saw her through Gavrael's memory, it did not stop him from having the same reactions as he did for his current Evie. He could not even stop it. It was as though the past Evie and the current one, were one and the same, and his heart instinctively beat for her helplessly. 

Gavriel did not even see anything more other than a few flashes of her smiling face and yet… his heart just recognized her as the very same woman he loved – Evie. 

He had always insisted that even though his and Gavrael's body were one and the same, their souls were different. He stood to the point that they were actually two different souls who lived in two different times but using only one body. He always had a hard time accepting it when Evie told him he is Gavrael and that Gavrael is him. But lately, since that moment when he had found his own heart beating for the Evie of the past, he had started to understand better what she had meant. 

Now he knew just why Evie had also fallen in love with Gavrael and insisted that he is him. She had always maintained the fact that he is not someone else but himself. Gavriel began to realize a lot of things – many truths – the more he experiences the flashes of Gavrael's memories in his mind. 

He realized that his jealousy and possessiveness towards Evie had blinded him to the truth in not accepting that he and Gavrael were truly one and the same person, be it their heart, their body or their soul. It was only their memories and experiences that were different. And due to those two completely different sets of memories and experiences, it had then created two distinct and different identities.  

It was then that it finally dawned unto Gavriel that Gavrael and himself were not two separate souls, but actually just two identities. Now he understood the reason why that sacrifice Gavrael had made back then did not actually work.  

He was an idiot for not seeing all these facts earlier, and Gavrael had also equally been an idiot for thinking the same. Well… that just means they were the same, right? Since they both were idiots. And Gavriel chuckled to himself when he thought of that.

"Tell me… what do you mean when you said you 'remembered'?" Evie probed more and Gavriel was glad that the jealousy he was feeling now when every time Evie remembers and misses Gavrael was no longer that severe. It was still there – just a shadow of it. But he could close an eye to it. He was still a jealous ass despite all the realization that he had, but it was not that kind of a painful jealousy anymore. And that in itself, was such a relief to him. 

"I don't remember everything. But… some scenes – past memories – from Gavrael's past life simply flashed into my mind when I saw that portal you crossed. That memory flash led me to the main portal." Gavriel answered and Evie blinked before her fine brows creased a little. 

"Does this mean… Gavrael's…" Evie kept pausing as if she was unsure or she just did not know how to say what she wanted to say. Was she being cautious of trying to not hurt his feelings? 

Gavriel bit his lower lip at the thought that Evie was hesitating like this just for his sake. It seemed that she had clearly noticed his jealous streak before this. 

Reaching out to touch her face, Gavriel smiled tenderly at her. "It's alright now, love. I finally understand everything. I truly accept now that Gavrael is me and we are not separate souls. I am him and he is me. Knowing my jealous ass, I would still feel jealous but from now on it would be a healthy kind of jealousy. Or else I would look too much like a fool for being jealous of myself." He said and Evie's mouth parted slightly, speechless and obviously confused as to why he was saying all this so suddenly. 

A sweet smile curved on Gavriel's face next and he said, "From now on, if you miss him, just call for his name and he'll come out."