I can't believe we made it! Thank you so much for reading!
The following are several questions I've been asked more than once about Dane or the characters in this story. If you have more, you're welcome to join my author discord where I answer questions and chat with readers every day: https://discord.gg/92g42X4nRv
If I don't see you there, just know that I truly appreciate your support of this book, and me as the author. It's been a helluva ride to write. And you made it fun. God bless you, and don't forget, I have several other books here on WebNovel. So maybe give one of those a try?
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FAQ: "How did you come up with Dane? Is he based on anyone real?"
Yes, and no.
Dane is probably the most complicated character I've ever written. He is, at his heart, strong and loving, and actually very easily wounded. But because he experienced severe trauma as a child, he was molded to present himself as something much harder than he actually is—a defense mechanism to try to protect himself against hurt from others.
There are aspects of him that I based on my husband. My husband did NOT experience the trauma that Dane experienced. But he was raised in a way that created a lot of anger for him that he couldn't quite understand. We've been together 23 years, and married almost 20, so I had to go back in my memories of our learning and growing through our relationship and my learning and growing in understanding him.
I have always gotten to see a side of my husbands that others don't get. But getting to know him early on was difficult—he was so thoughtful and protective, a real "Man's man" and quite old-fashioned in his chivalry. And yet, under the right circumstances, he would shut down emotionally and it would seem as if nothing touched him. Like, to me, it felt as if he didn't even care.
In creating Dane, I took what I'd seen in my husband and exaggerated the effect. Because I've also dealt for years with people who suffer from serious trauma, and I know that the deeper the trauma goes, the more stark the emotional impact on their functioning.
Here's a tip if you want to know whether someone you know/love has suffered trauma: If you observe in them sometimes very extreme reactions to events or stimulus in their world that seem very small, and they tend to either become extremely angry, or shut down completely… chances are, something has just happened that—to their brain—triggers a fight or flight (or freeze) response.
Our brains trigger these responses WITHOUT OUR KNOWLEDGE. When we experience them, all we know is that we feel deeply—or not at all. Everything in us becomes focused on survival, rather than logic. We are literally functioning primarily out of a different part of the brain. Understanding why people react the way they do, can help you understand how and why they can get hurt (or hurt you) even when it's unintentional. I highly recommend reading, or attending an overview lecture of ACERS "Acute Childhood Event Research Study." They're all over the world and they give an EXCELLENT breakdown of everything from certain types of trauma and how it affects a person, brain development in children, and also, practical ways to be in a relationship with an adult who dealt with trauma as a young person without it destroying you (or them.)
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FAQ: What's up with Chris? Is he an asshole, or a psycho?
Chris is another complex character. One detail that is in the book that many seem to miss is that Dane and Chris share a MOTHER. Douglas is actually Chris's step-father.
Chris truly does understand and appreciate what Dane did for him in their childhood—but his jealousy over Dane's constant "bigger and better" has made him very resentful and selfish.
He appreciates that Dane protected him from Dane's father (Chris's stepfather), but he always felt inadequate next to Dane, because Dane seemed stronger, and more interesting to their parents. He has a strange moral compass that is easily shifted by his own needs, but when he thinks something is important, he's determined and single-minded, and won't let anything get in his way.
I tried to lay the trail through the story, but I'd say the biggest single clue to Chris's betrayal is his reaction to shooting Douglas.
He was not unaffected, but he also wasn't derailed by it. If you've ever spoken to someone who's had to kill another person (even in self-defense) it's an extremely traumatic and overwhelming experience. Even if they shut down emotionally, it leaves a mark. Chris was able to compartmentalize that experience somewhat because it served him well to do it.
Take from this what you will: Part of my character molding for Chris is the former head of the FBI, James Comey. I believe in him you see a man who is fully certain of his own moral compass, and yet, if you dig deeper into how/why he justifies the things he does, you find that he is, perhaps, not always seeing the truth of an issue, but rather, viewing it in a way that suits him so he can feel comfortable with the choices he's making.
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FAQ: Why does Lila put up with Dane's crap at the beginning?
The short answer is, she recognizes the traits I described above because she's had a lot more counselling and self-reflection than Dane has. She understands (better than he does) why he reacts to things the way he does. And because she can see past his initial aggression/defensiveness she's able to see the good man underneath. She wants other people to see it too.
With that said, Lila isn't flawless. She can be a dog with a bone. And her boldness can take her places that are often unwise. So… there's a certain amount of Dane being forgiving towards her, also.
For Dane meeting Lila is like having the world suddenly make more sense. He's always hated himself, deep down, but also struggled with knowing that many of his "problems" weren't self-inflicted. He's very confused by his own feelings, and that makes him angry. A lot. Meeting someone who accepts that about him and isn't scared off is an eye-opener for him. He doesn't know how to be another way, so having someone accept his flaws and still see the good in him gives him hope for himself.
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FAQ: Why did you make Doug such a psycho?
The pure truth is, villains are really fun to write. I have a dark mind, I've always been drawn to the darker side of humanity—not because I enjoy it. But because when I understand something, it doesn't frighten me. So, even as a young person, when someone or something scared me, I wanted to understand it.
Doug is a melting pot of the thousands of hours I've spent both in fiction, and real-life (I used to work for the Police and have worked in a support role in real murder and terrorism cases) studying and trying to understand evil people.
If you read this, you should count yourself lucky: I originally planned to go balls-to-the-wall with Doug and make him a truly sick and terrifying individual. However, I didn't think in the end that the romance genre was the right place to do that—and I didn't want to open the can of worms for Dane and Lila that would have resulted.
Believe it or not, what you read is the diluted version of Doug. If you want to know where I originally planned to take him (and Lila and Dane through him) you can join my discord chat room at the link above and I'll send you the summary.
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THAT'S ALL! Thank you again, for joining me on this very intense ride. I truly appreciate it. If you have any questions you're welcome to ask them in the comments--or join my discord ( https://discord.gg/92g42X4nRv ) because we have a TON of fun there, and I love answering reader questions in the spoilers chat!
God bless you and may you find (or keep) your own Dane!
-Aimee