Chapter 12.5

“Why are you alone?”

“Choi Yu Choi went out to have fun.”

“Then it’s just the two of us. Good,” he said while moving the plastic spoon toward his mouth. Sangwoo didn’t know how to respond so he turned his head away. It felt like casually-spoken words had just hit him. He got thirsty all of a sudden. Sangwoo took his laptop out of his backpack, put it on the desk, and stared intensely at the black screen.

“Sangwoo.”

Why did he become so nervous when he just called his name as always?

“Yes,” Sangwoo barely answered.

“Eat some dumplings. I stood in line at a popular place to buy them.”

It was an order and not a suggestion. As he looked sideways, he saw that Jaeyoung was picking up a large dumpling with his chopsticks. The end had been dipped in soy sauce.

“Put it down. I’ll eat it myself.”

“Hurry, my arm hurts.”

The dumpling was right before his face, so Sangwoo didn’t have a choice but to open his mouth. When he took a big bite, Jaeyoung pulled the dumpling back and dipped it in soy sauce to finish the other half.

“That’s what I was eating.”

“Why do you care about such a thing between people who’ve even kissed?”

Everything he said today strangely affected him. Moreover, it was difficult to refute the logic that their saliva had already been exchanged in the past, so there was no need to be concerned about a bacterial infection.

“Do you want more?”

“…Yes.”

Jaeyoung put the remaining pieces into Sangwoo’s mouth as if he were unaffected. Sangwoo chewed hard on the dumplings, with his mouth full. Perhaps it was because he was eating too intensely or because the dumplings were hot, but his surroundings felt hot.

“Why is it so hot today?”

“I know, right?”

Jaeyoung put his chopsticks down and then took off his cap and put it on the desk. He grabbed the bottom hem with both hands and pulled off his black sweatshirt. As the white t-shirt underneath rolled up his stomach, Sangwoo forgot how to breathe. He messed around all day, yet he had firm abs.

Jaeyoung threw his clothes on the cot and put his cap back on. It wasn’t even the first time seeing this, but his bare arms drew his attention. Sangwoo’s gaze carefully swept over the muscles and tendons in Jaeyoung’s arms. Parts of the tattoos that started from his shoulders were covered by his sleeves. Even if he didn’t want to remember what that arm did to him in the car, he couldn’t help himself.

Jaeyoung suddenly spun his head around and made eye contact with him. Sangwoo was so surprised that he reached out to grab the mouse that he hadn’t even pulled out while he was waiting for the monitor to turn on.

“It’s the first time you’re seeing this, I see.”

Jaeyoung showed a weird tattoo by pulling his sleeve up to his shoulder.

“I saw it last time.”

“When? Oh…”

There was a moment of silence. Sangwoo grabbed a water bottle out of his backpack and gulped it down. When he finished it all and wiped some of the water spilling down his mouth with the back of his hand, Jaeyoung said, “I guess you saw it when you and I were having a good time in the car.”

It was stupid of him to have gulped down all the water, otherwise he would’ve spit it all out.

Jaeyoung muttered, “It was really nice that day.”

Sangwoo strongly felt the need to change the subject.

“Why did you get a tattoo?”

“Why? Do I seem like a thug?”

“A bit.”

“It’s a signature I designed a few years ago. I just think of it as a picture.”

“Why did you draw a picture on your skin?”

“Cause I wanted to?”

Jaeyoung just ate for a while. Sangwoo sat in a chair and observed Jaeyoung’s engraved signature on his arm. He thought that only gang members got tattoos, but maybe it was because that guy had one that it didn’t look too bad. At a closer look, it seemed like a bird, and like a letter from an unknown country, and like a falling meteor, and like a burning flame. Sangwoo felt that its shape resembled Jaeyoung in that it couldn’t be identified.

“You’re staring at it a lot.”

“It’s because it’s my first time seeing such a thing.”

“If it’s that amazing, I’ll draw something on your arm as well.”

Sangwoo frowned. At first, he felt like rejecting it, but then he immediately felt curiosity over something unfamiliar. How would it feel to have a picture on his arm like that? While Sangwoo was worrying, Jaeyoung finished his rice bowl with fish roe and crumpled the paper bowl.

He turned the computer on and said, “What’s your favorite shape?”

Sangwoo blankly stared at Jaeyoung’s profile, lost in thought. When Jaeyoung felt that gaze, he shamelessly said, “Something other than me. It’s not pretty to get a tattoo of a human face.”

“Are you nuts?”

If he didn’t play around, it seemed like thorns were coming out of his mouth. Sangwoo bravely looked for a way to get rid of the disgraceful misunderstanding. He didn’t contemplate for long. He only had a few objects that he liked enough for them to be drawn on his arm.

“Please draw a forklift.”

“Okay.”

Jaeyoung turned on the monitor and opened the Internet browser to search for images. Sangwoo stuck close to him and interjected.

“Not a crawler, but wheels.”

“What’s a crawler?”

“That thing right there. It’s a Caterpillar tractor. Find the one with wheels instead of the belt-powered one. Wheels. Wheels.”

Jaeyoung kept clicking on the wrong picture. Sangwoo started feeling frustrated because he couldn’t understand what he was saying.

“The bucket in that one is too small. No, I said the bucket is too small.”

“I think it’s the nicest-looking one, though?”

“It’s not like it has to become 공팔 before it can move a bit. Really… You don’t know anything.”

“Stop being hard on me and just look for it yourself.”

When Jaeyoung passed over the mouse, Sangwoo found his favorite model and displayed it on the screen as if he had been waiting all along. Jaeyoung remained still and looked at the monitor for a minute, then opened the drawer and took out some markers. Unlike stationary sold on the market, these were wide.

“Where do you want it?” he said while still looking at the monitor.

Sangwoo thought about a location that wouldn’t be exposed and interfere with his regular life if anything went wrong. He extended his arm.

“Lift up your elbow.”

Jaeyoung turned his chair around, grabbed a marker and got closer to him. He grabbed Sangwoo’s wrist, unbuttoned the sleeve cuff, and rolled up the sleeve to his shoulder. He put his left arm against Sangwoo’s arm and wrapped his palm around the relatively soft skin under his armpit. Perhaps it was because it was a hot day, but that part also felt hot. It felt ticklish as if there were bugs crawling on his skin so he wanted to scratch it. Sangwoo was uncomfortable, but he didn’t have a choice but to remain still since he had already given his permission.

“Should I begin?”

“… Yes.”

Jaeyoung removed the marker cap with his teeth while making eye contact with him. It wasn’t even a big deal, but that gaze just looked captivating. Jaeyoung put the marker cap on the desk with the hand that was holding the marker, pushed his chair aside, and came right before Sangwoo’s face. After fixing the inside of Sangwoo’s arm in place, he began drawing with the large marker.

Glide. The tip of the marker became slippery against his skin. Straight, straight, straight, and curving. Strong pressure. Tilting downward. The thickness of the line changed every time he changed his grip.

Also, whenever Jaeyoung tilted his head, the angle of his face also changed. There were times when he could see the angle of his nose when his cap went down, and there were times when he could see the two completely immersed eyes. Since Jaeyoung was concentrating on drawing, Sangwoo was able to freely steal glances at him. An opportunity like this didn’t come by often.

“Did you use this marker to draw on my face during the first class of ‘Embedded Systems’ as well?”

The line Jaeyoung was drawing broke as he flinched.

“…I should have,” he said while drawing together the uneven line.

“Why are you asking that all of a sudden?”

“I didn’t think it would come off easily. I had a hard time trying to erase it that day.”

“I’m drawing so earnestly, so it shouldn’t come off easily.”

Jaeyoung then drew the wheel in silence. Because of his rough nature, he thought that he would draw anything that just resembled a circle, but he moved the marker upward to represent the saw-toothed tire tread in detail.

He started to feel increasingly weird. It wasn’t just anybody, but it was Jang Jaeyoung who was drawing his favorite shape on his skin, so he couldn’t help but to feel that way. Just Jang Jaeyoung alone was overwhelming, but his heart couldn’t work as it should if it was Jang Jaeyoung+Forklift. If he had drunk a lot and had his judgment become clouded, then he might have ignored the norm and attacked him.

Sangwoo quietly enjoyed the combined feelings of joy and nervousness, and discomfort and sexual desire. When he felt it for the first time, he didn’t know what to do, but now since he had been experiencing this for quite a while, it didn’t seem too foreign.

Apart from the sound of the marker, the picture was drawn in complete silence. Jaeyoung began by drawing the main body, followed by the attached rotating parts, and lastly the operational gears. Sangwoo felt excited by the appearance of the heavy equipment gradually forming on his arm.

“Sunbae.”

“What?”

“You’re like a wizard.”

Jaeyoung’s mouth formed into a line. He wanted to see his eyes, but the brim of the cap was covering them. Sangwoo began to dislike baseball caps and even Major League Baseball teams.

“Take off your cap, please.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want to tell you.”