Chapter 14.3

At the end of the park, the wall continued. Since it was quite a famous spot in Seoul for going on dates, even Sangwoo had been there on a date with his ex-girlfriend. He recalled being annoyed because there were a lot of people there at the time. Perhaps it was because he didn’t spot a single rat now that his heart was just filled with excitement.

They simply walked in silence for a while. Sangwoo was looking ahead, but Jaeyoung’s left hand was always lurking at the edge of his peripheral vision. He used his right hand to scratch his nose, to touch the back of his head, and he even put it in his pocket, but his left hand always stayed in the same spot. The hand, which had been moving capriciously since the movie, was still there after a minute had passed, after two minutes, and even after three minutes had passed, which bothered Sangwoo. Sangwoo suddenly checked the time and discovered that it was nearly 2 a.m.

‘You said it was a shortcut.’

Even if it was two hours past his usual bedtime, his mind was clearly awake. His nerves were also more on edge than ever. From the right, Sangwoo was prepared not to miss any stimuli. He sensed the sound of Jaeyoung’s breaths, the traces of his hands swaying, the change in his steps, and the wrinkles shaped and smoothened on his pants.

“Jaeyoung sunbae.”

“What?”

No matter what, it was a bit awkward to ask if they could hold hands. Sangwoo was at a loss for words.

“How long until we reach the parking lot?”

“We’re almost there.”

Waves seemed to sway in his chest. The caged beast was howling. Sangwoo didn’t have any choice but to extend his hand while tightly closing his eyes, as this beast quickly urged him to grab his hand, or something might happen. His fingertips brushed against Jaeyoung’s naturally swaying palm. Even though he didn’t do anything, before he knew it, their hands were clasped together. Sangwoo quietly breathed. Their hands slowly moved back and forth as if they were swaying in the wind. A numb sensation began to spread throughout his body from their area of contact.

“Sunbae.”

“Yeah?”

“Never mind.”

However, that wasn’t the end of it. The beast living in Sangwoo’s stomach got to hold his hand, but then went crazy for more. Sangwoo told the beast no, and begged it to save face, but it didn’t listen.

“Sunbae.”

“What?”

“Just. It’s nothing, really.”

He had endured such anguish on the way to the parking lot. His palms were sweating. It was to the degree that if he wrung them like a mop, water would cascade down. He wondered how he had lived like a normal person for 25 years without such strong desires. He didn’t understand at all.

“You’re funny. You usually don’t hold your tongue. What’s up today?”

That was when he looked up at Jaeyoung’s playful face. As soon as he saw the face, which he had been avoiding throughout the walk, he got lightheaded. Passion to the degree of making him dizzy was seething in his chest. Sangwoo responded by detangling their hand-to-hand connection, which had a bad effect on him.

“I’m a bit weird today. Saying that people get excited at the movie theater. You didn’t drug the Coke, did you?”

“I thought that you lacked creativity until now, but it seems I’ll have to reconsider.”

Sangwoo didn’t know how to stop the steep upward trend of the graph. At some point during his intense internal conflict, they had arrived in front of the car. When they went to the cinema, the 10-minute distance was a 33-minute walk.

With a brazen look on his face, Jaeyoung said, “we’re already here.”

Sangwoo’s mind was full of other thoughts, so he didn’t argue against his words.

“Sunbae.”

“Yeah, tell me.”

However, it truly wasn’t easy. This was a really stupid thing to do. Sangwoo pushed himself and pulled out the words that had been lying on his lips as if pulling out weeds.

“What’s it like to sleep with a guy?”

“I think of it as similar to a relationship between a guy and a girl.”

“…”

“It’s a person being attracted to another person, so what’s the difference?”

“Sunbae.”

“What now?”

“Never mind.”

Jaeyoung didn’t annoyingly pry as usual. Without a word, he pulled out his car keys and unlocked it.

On their way home, the atmosphere was suffocating. Jaeyoung neither played around, nor did he say anything silly, but he simply drove while looking straight ahead. Sangwoo didn’t know what expressions he was making, because he couldn’t bear to look at his face.

The car moved nicely along the empty road, but Sangwoo’s chest was stuffy as if it were blocked. He couldn’t figure out whether he wished for them to arrive quickly or for time to go by slowly so that they wouldn’t arrive.

Regardless of Sangwoo’s wishes, the car, which had been going at a constant speed, arrived in front of the apartment complex. Jaeyoung parked the car properly and turned off the engine. Then, for what felt like a very long time, there was silence.

“Are you going to live here?”

There was no laughter in his sarcastic voice. It wasn’t the kind of mood where one would laugh. Sangwoo’s expression was also stiff.

“I can’t get out right now.”

“Why?”

“I have something to do?”

Sangwoo was well aware that he wouldn’t be able to calm down if he didn’t do it. When he looked to his left, a pair of eyes met his, as if they had been waiting. Jaeyoung turned his body and put his elbow on the back of Sangwoo’s seat.

“Try it.”

Sangwoo indifferently looked into his eyes, but his chest was beating as if being struck by a bat. As he had seen before, Sangwoo grabbed the console with his knee and flipped his other leg over to the driver’s seat. As he placed his butt on Jaeyoung’s lap and held his shoulders with both hands, the latter opened his eyes wide with his head firmly pushed against the headrest.

“You told me to try it. Why are you so surprised?”

Sangwoo raised his right hand and stroked his cheek, closing his eyes and approaching him.

‘Calmly.’

Unlike his noisy and chaotic insides, his lips softly touched Jaeyoung’s.

‘Slowly.’

As he had learned, he put his opponent’s upper lip in his mouth and rolled it. He felt the soft flesh between his lips and stroked his neck with his hand.

‘Softly.’

Jaeyoung, who hadn’t reacted at all for a while, responded. Sangwoo sucked his lip in and then released it. Then, he met Jaeyoung’s tongue.

‘Breathe through your nose.’

He turned his head so their lips would meet more effectively and stimulated the root of Jaeyoung’s tongue. Jaeyoung groaned while they got entangled. His hand went underneath his T-shirt. The heat made their skin hot where they touched, and the upward curve became steep.

Jaeyoung caressed Sangwoo’s waist and back for a while, then he threw his cap off and grabbed his hair. With his fingertips, Sangwoo explored Jaeyoung’s ears, eyelids, and nose, which he usually only looked at, to his heart’s content. The bangs, which he thought had changed shape, were stiff from something that had been applied to them. Sangwoo messed up the hairstyle that Jaeyoung must have smoothed with his palms. The opportunity to touch him so freely was rare.

His excitement only gradually grew stronger without showing any signs of abating. Sangwoo felt both pleasure and pain. How many times did they kiss while changing the angle? Jaeyoung pushed his face away. Sangwoo, who thought that they had to do this forever, felt a bit disappointed, but looked into his eyes. It was the first time he saw his face so red.

“Did you… practice?”

“Yes.”

As he glanced at his watch, they’d been going for nine minutes. The practice had worked. Jaeyoung frowned as he gasped for air.

“How? With… whom?”

“I don’t want to tell you.”

“You didn’t do it with a person, right?”

“No.”

“That’s fine, then.”

With his hair a mess, he looked at Sangwoo. Sangwoo could easily sense the same kind of urges in his eyes. From the start, Jaeyoung had never hidden his sexual desire.

“I… I’m going home.”

Sangwoo brought his hand to the doorknob to take care of the uncomfortable situation of sitting on someone else’s lap. That moment, Jaeyoung pulled Sangwoo’s shoulder and held his upper body in his arms. He rubbed his lips against his forehead.

“Just stay a while longer. I’m too excited to calm down.”

Jaeyoung hugged Sangwoo with all his might. It was so tight it was difficult for him to breathe. Sangwoo calmly closed his eyes and faced the sexual desire that was swirling inside. It had always been like this. He was just swayed by raging impulses, and he had only properly taken care of them once.

“Hyung.”

Sangwoo didn’t have any intention of saying anything. They weren’t words of reason. Carnal desire, which had always failed to reach its climax, was behind the steering wheel.

Jaeyoung didn’t respond. He just took a rough breath and exhaled. Sangwoo’s mouth opened again.

“I want to do it. With hyung.”

It was silent. Sangwoo was surprisingly calm at that moment. His heart was rapidly beating, but it had been like that since the moment he had seen Jaeyoung lean against the car. He had a clear goal and he knew what the most effective solution was.

“Will you agree?”

His voice wasn’t trembling and his mind was clear. The grip on Sangwoo’s shoulders got stronger. After waiting for a bit, Jaeyoung replied in a sweet voice.

“Shall we head inside?”

“I need time to get ready.”

“How much time?”

“One hour.”

Jaeyoung raised his left arm and looked at his watch.

“I’ll be there at 3:32 a.m.”

“Yes. See you later.” Sangwoo said, and left the car.

return 0;