Chapter 15.17

‘You seem to like me a lot.’

He could tell by his face. It was a moment when he understood the worry that his lust was only getting worse. If he hits the ceiling, he’s supposed to fall. If it went all the way, it should cool down, but why is it getting darker as the days go by? Thinking that he had no idea, Jae Young took off his expensive shoes. He approached Sang Woo one step, two steps closer. With his eyes wide open and cheeks flushed, Sang Woo looked up at Jae Young without breaking eye contact.

“I didn’t know you were coming.”

“So, don’t you like it?”

Jae Young wrapped his arms around Sang Woo’s neck and pulled him toward him. When he put his chin on his shoulder and leaned on it, the negative emotions that had swirled in his heart before slowly escaped him. His eyes closed on their own, and a long and heavy breath escaped between his lips.

There was no such thing as an uneasy hobby. Why should he waste his time being anxious when he could spend it in joy? But the more he got to know him, the more passionate he became, the more anxiety grew. It was a bad feeling.

“I feel good.”

No, Jae Young always felt good when he was with Sang Woo. It’s never been like that before he fell out of control. He rubbed his face against his neck, his arms tightly wrapped around his back. Sang Woo, who always treated him like a baby, was warm and spacious.

“Hyung, you’re very strange today.”

“Why?”

“It’s my first time I’ve seen you in these clothes, and your smell.”

“So, you don’t like it?”

“…No.”

“That’s all right then.”

“And…. What happened at the funeral?”

Jae Young thought he was pretty good at impersonating people now. When he hugged Sang Woo without saying anything, he tapped him on the shoulder awkwardly.

“Who was the person who bullied you?”

“Aunts, uncles, uncles, aunts, cousins. They go and scold me.”

“Stupid,” Sang Woo sighed, “Did you get depressed because your relative harassed you?”

“You have to console me. Would you have come here to be scolded?”

“You want me to console you with my body, right?” he asked.

“What a rotten mindset. That’s not it. Say it kindly.”

Warm consolation. He whined even though he knew that Cho Sang Woo didn’t have such an ability. Actually, it didn’t matter. At this moment, leaning on Sang Woo and immersed in his body scent, Jae Young didn’t need anything more at all.

Sang Woo remained silent for some time. It was a precious silence for Jae Young. He said that he felt as if he could fall asleep standing up because he was so tired.

“In nature, strong individuals act alone. For example, the black mamba secretes deadly poison from the day it hatches from the egg, so there’s no need to protect it.”

“…”

“There are two main reasons why other animals don’t live in groups. Herbivores have weak individual strength, so they flock together to defend themselves against the predators, and carnivores form groups to hunt with cooperation.”

Jae Young took a lecture on zoology that came out of nowhere. Sang Woo talked extensively about a few other examples, such as an antelope, a monkey, and a hyena.

“Which side are you, hyung?” he suddenly asked.

“Well.”

Even if he tried to answer seriously, it couldn’t have worked. It’s absurd to put the animal and human world on the same line. Moreover, it was impossible to understand the situation of his family, which wouldn’t be strange if Sang Woo, who had grown up in an ordinary family, appeared in a crazy drama.

“If you’re a marsupial, you won’t know, but if you’re an adult, you’ll have to go through your own path. If you’re weak, one way to survive is to lean on the herd. But if the herd adversely affects the individual…”

Sang Woo, who’d been talking dryly, paused for a moment.

“It’s okay if you get out. hyung, are you confident you can survive without your family?”

The idea was that if there was a problem, you had to eliminate the cause. It was because he didn’t know Jae Young’s situation, but he wasn’t wrong either. However, ordinary people considered this idea cold.

“Do your parents know that you feel this way too?”

“Sure. It’s been five years since I left home.”

“Aren’t you disappointed?”

“The bond between family members is shared with phone calls every month and a visit every six months. And I plan to repay the money my parents spent raising me in nine years.”

“…What a good son.”

It was clear that Sang Woo grew up in a harmonious family, no matter what he said. From a father who’d beg for a heart to be added to his name, a mother who personally taught him how to drink in fear that her tactless son will lose money somewhere, and an older sister who complained like an ordinary brother and sister.

Maybe that’s why he has less emotional ups and downs, not caring about other people’s perception of him, and has high self-esteem. Jae Young felt jealous and love at the same time for the man he was dating.

“Hyung is so contradictory. Why can’t you skip the stressful funeral and miss an important class?”

“If I don’t go, it’ll be a mess.”

“It’s called making a fuss. Your relatives are just people. No one can force hyung to act otherwise.”

“You’re all right.”

Jae Young was smiling before he knew it. It was strange to be comforted by such extreme solutions. His firm conclusion blew away his stress.

“That’s a bit exaggerated. I’ve never been hit.” Jae Young hugged Sang Woo tightly when he muttered and added, “Do I look stupid?”

“A little. Everyone has a weakness, so I understand. Even Superman has kryptonite.”

“I know. Even a perfect man like me should have a weakness.”

Jae Young thought it was a good metaphor. His only weakness was that he couldn’t do as he pleases while living freely. The family line that his maternal grandfather gave him over a long period made Jae Young weak. How was it different from Superman, who stuttered with kryptonite? There was something he was curious about.

“What is your kryptonite?” he asked Sang Woo.

“I don’t have that.”

Sang Woo answered without hesitation. Jae Young agreed without much doubt.

“Good for you, Superman without weakness.”

Lack of social skills, lack of sense, lack of empathy. But for a tough Black Mamba, that may not be a flaw. Even if he couldn’t get along with others, he can act on his own.

‘That’s how you’ve lived your life.’

Sang Woo slapped Jae Young on the back twice and said, “Okay, it’s over.”

That was all the consolation he could give.

“Do you want me to kiss you now?” he asked.

“Yes.”

Sang Woo’s fingers wrapped around Jae Young’s cheeks. Jae Young raised his chin and closed his eyes, but Sang Woo raised his face to his eye level and stayed still for a long time. Sang Woo’s fingers tickled Jae Young’s forehead and touched his eyebrows. He gently brushed down the bridge of his nose, his cheeks, and finally came down to his lips.

“They are strange people. Why are they harassing such a handsome relative?”

The moment he laughed, something else touched Jae Young’s lips. His lower lip was pulled into his mouth, Sang Woo’s soft tongue smacking over it. Sang Woo alternately kept Jae Young’s lips in his mouth and sucked them, then came inside with his mouth wide open.

‘He’s doing really well now.’

Jae Young made him practice a lot, but he became a player before he knew it. Jae Young forgot how tired he was and was dragged as Sang Woo pulled him. Feeling like chocolate was melting in his mouth, he let him tease his tongue sweetly. Tongues tangled together; Jae Young’s mind went blank. Everywhere Sang Woo’s lips and tongue touched, his senses awoke. It was a giddy kiss that stopped his train of thoughts.

After his lips fell naturally, Jae Young hugged Sang Woo again and whispered in his ear.

“Can I sleep here?”

“Yes.”

‘Isn’t he answering too quickly?’

“Then give me your pajamas. I’ll go wash up and come back.”

“No. You can’t change.”

Sang Woo quickly grabbed Jae Young’s arm and dragged him to bed. His face was flushed with anticipation and his eyes were ablaze. Jae Young fell on the bed as he led him, but was reluctant. Sang Woo, who got on the bed as well, sat down, embraced him, and turned to his side to lie down.

“Sang Woo.”

“Yes.”

“Let’s just cuddle and sleep like mom and dad today.”

He wanted to apologize after the words came spilling out his mouth.

“We are both men, so of course we can’t get married, but it was just a figure of speech. If you’re offended, I’ll be the mother. You are the father.”

Sang Woo just looked at his eyes without saying a word. Jae Young leaned closer to him and inserted his legs between his thighs. It felt pleasantly warm as their hearts touched each other. As if Jae Young’s heart was about to explode, his intense emotions subsided and he felt a hazy and warm feeling that caught the corners of his mouth. The calm waves that drove away hatred and anxiety calmed his mind. Jae Young thought it was a good thing to visit Sang Woo.