Chapter 6.3

‘What’s wrong with you?’

Sangwoo whined inside and was appalled at himself. Until now, he had never felt so incapable while studying. However, no matter how he approached it, the text didn’t open the door to Sangwoo. Even after reading it a few more times, he was only able to take in the material at a superficial level and unable to grasp major concepts. It was clear that he was behind because he hadn’t been able to properly pay attention in class.

return 0;

Time went by regardless of his torpor.

It became night, and then it became day once again. The next day also started out this way, but not everything was exactly the same. There was a leather messenger bag in the seat next to Sangwoo, but it remained empty even 20 minutes after the class had begun. He could move it since the owner of the bag wasn’t there, but Sangwoo felt a strange discomfort because the interrupter that should’ve been there was missing.

Jang Jaeyoung stumbled in through the back door the moment Sangwoo’s digital watch read 22 minutes past the hour. A laser beam seemed to shoot out of Professor Choi’s eyes, which glared at Jaeyoung, who was late and then fell flat on his desk. Jaeyoung reeked of alcohol. Sangwoo wondered if he had gone drinking with the people he was with at the bench the previous day.

“Why are you late?”

The whisper that left his mouth actually contained another question. Yet it was meaningless to ask since he already knew the answer. Jaeyoung, who was lying facedown on the desk, turned his head slightly and looked up at Sangwoo.

“What do you think?”

“Because you stayed up late drinking.”

“You know it well.”

“With whom?”

The thinly veiled question slipped out of Sangwoo’s lips. Jaeyoung couldn’t even raise his head because his body was so limp, but his eyes glistened with playfulness.

“Why does it matter who I drank with?”

“I’m just curious who the stupid person is who would drink with you, sunbae.”

“If you want to drink with me, just say so.”

“Are you crazy? Me?”

Sangwoo wanted to blame Jaeyoung for not being able to concentrate on class when he arrived, but in reality, he hadn’t been able to pay attention even before that.

‘I have no idea what this class is about.’ 

Sangwoo often felt unfamiliar emotions these days. At the same time, he felt like he had been deprived of familiar feelings. Meanwhile, the dark brown head kept drawing Sangwoo’s attention away from his book. Today wouldn’t work out as well. He should have foreseen it.

Jaeyoung didn’t get up and was slouching on his desk even after the class had ended.

“Sunbae.”

He could’ve just left him and headed towards his next class, but Sangwoo called out to him anyway.

“… sunbae.”

Without lifting his head from the desk, Jaeyoung stretched out his left hand and grabbed Sangwoo’s arm. The action made Sangwoo very uncomfortable.

“Ah… it feels like I’m going to throw up, so I can’t help it,” Jaeyoung said while clinging to Sangwoo’s arm with both hands.

He managed to pull himself up, and he then grabbed the “Blackholic” from his bag and put it on the desk. There was only a canned coffee left in the spot after he had stumbled out. Sangwoo took the coffee and headed towards the next classroom.

Without fail, there was a backpack on Sangwoo’s preferred seat. Sangwoo hung his bag on the chair and sat down in that seat. It was unjust to clear off someone else’s seat, but Sangwoo knew that Jaeyoung wouldn’t show up.

He sat in his favorite seat for the first time in a while, but strangely enough, he didn’t feel good. That day, Sangwoo couldn’t concentrate well even if the content in the ‘Algorithms’ class wasn’t difficult.

‘Is he throwing up?’ 

Jaeyoung was to blame for drinking excessively despite having classes the next day. Sangwoo suddenly realized he had made a different judgment in a previous case with a similar logical structure.

‘Jang Jaeyoung was to blame for having someone attend classes for him. Accordingly, even if he wasn’t able to graduate, it was only right.’ 

Sangwoo was thrown into confusion. The strange feeling of a crack appearing in his consistent way of thinking neither disappeared by the time class had ended, nor even as he ate alone at the cafeteria.

Sangwoo didn’t have any thoughts at all. He just sat down, because there was a seat and ate soup because there was a spoon. And then, he got up because the tray was empty. His body mechanically disposed of the leftovers and placed the empty tray on the conveyor belt. The spoon and the chopsticks were put in separate containers, and he drank a glass of water by the sink.

There were no variables, only constants, so of course the time was 12:28. Sangwoo walked according to his routine as if he were a self-driving car. Before he knew it, he was at the snack shop, but he didn’t need to buy a drink. He realized it when he stood in front of the refrigerator. The owner of the snack shop, who had been sitting by the checkout counter, approached Sangwoo and touched his shoulder while looking apologetic.

“Student, it’s been a while. I’ve told them to deliver the coffee on Monday, so don’t worry!”

“I got it,” Sangwoo replied while pushing her hand off him.

“I felt so bad that it kept bothering me. You’ve been drinking it every day, so you must really be craving it, right?”

Sangwoo’s eyes turned towards the refrigerator. They didn’t turn to the empty shelf on the fifth row, but to the one above it.