Soon, Christian and Keith had already recovered to an extent. However, after seeing that Robin was still tired, they had silently agreed via eye contact to wait until Robin had properly taken a break.
Christian, who would usually be the first to forge ahead, now felt that slowing down every now and then wasn't a bad thing. At the very least, now he could enjoy seeing a different side of Robin. The Robin whose head was nodding in weariness was adorable. It reminded Christian of a kid trying to stay up past their bedtime. Subconsciously, a warm smile crept up on his face.
Keith sighed off to the side. All of a sudden, he had begun to feel the weight and burden of knowing secrets. How much more of a burden had Robin have to bear? A glass in the hand adds weight with time. She had been holding onto this secret this whole time. How had it not crushed her?
"Uuugh..." Robin sat up and shook her head. Not good. She had almost fallen asleep just sitting there. She wasn't used to the loss of her sense of danger.
'What I need is a little pick-me-up to jumpstart my energy levels again. Do I have anything like that?' She pondered as she began to look through her storage bracer and magic bag. It was then that she rediscovered the sack of coffee beans she had purchased back in Ragnok. 'Perfect!' She smiled.
The coffee beans had already been roasted, as the ship owner described, they were 'at the height of their fragrance'. Robin snickered. Using coffee as a fragrance, how impressive. She grabbed the beans, a kettle, a jar, and 3 glass mugs.
"Hmm? Are you perhaps going to make some tea?" Keith asked.
"Tea? No. This'll be a drink that I think you'll like, uncle. It's called coffee." Robin replied.
First, she prepared. Filling the kettle with water, and heating it up via magic. Robin tied some cloth squares to the top of the mugs, making sure that there was enough give for a depression to form in the middle.Then Robin poured the beans into the jar until it was 1/3rd full.
"Beans? You're going to make us a drink out of beans?" Christian asked, confused, yet mildly intrigued.
"Mhmm!" Robin replied. "Watch this."
The beans within the enclosed jar were ground into powder. She had managed to recreate Ponzu's kitchen magic using a strong mental image, with magic to supply for what was missing. Her use of kitchen magic was quite a bit rougher, but in this case, it got the job done. Robin then opened the jar, and poured the resulting powder on top the cloth, covered mugs.
"Hmm? Isn't that-!?" Christian was so surprised he nearly stood up from shock.
"Ah, this?" Robin looked down at the jar, then up at Christian. "You know...just because Ponzu can only use this magic, doesn't mean it's an exclusive spell." Robin pointed out. "If you know the principles behind it, and have a bit of wind aptitude, then you can also pick it up."
Robin poured Hot water onto the ground piles, which gained weight, causing the center of the cloth to sag downwards as a rudimentary coffee drip funnel was formed. Robin did so a bit at a time, keeping the water piping hot.
"But, you know, it's probably best that you took Ponzu in when you did." She told Christian.
"Why's that?" Christian asked.
If someone threw a large scale version of Ponzu's kitchen magic into the battlefield, I'd feel sorry for the dead." Robin replied. "Anyone with advanced wind aptitude would be able to figure it out, I think."
"Advanced wind aptitude-wait, isn't that Gerard?" Keith suddenly asked.
Robin nodded. "Right. Didn't you know? Little Gerry's been helping Ponzu out in the kitchens lately."
"So you knew all about this?" Keith said.
"I encouraged it." Robin replied. "That lad is travelling with the Hero, after all. We've been lucky so far, but who knows how much longer our luck will hold? He needs a method to defend himself with in case he finds himself in trouble when we're not around."
"Aren't you more concerned of him being kidnapped because he knows this magic?" Christian asked.
"Why would I be concerned?" Robin asked, pouring a bit more water into the cups. "Currently, it's but a mere lowly kitchen magic. Only you and I am aware of its potentially destructive nature. In the future, you can take Gerard as one of your own men."
"So you planned this all out?" Christian asked. "Gerard's got quite the glorious future ahead of him, now."
"I've only made it possible for him to lay claim to a role which suits his talents." Robin replied. "Where he goes with it is his business. However..." Robin paused. "He's a kind lad, so I have faith in his character. He won't allow for good people to suffer."
"You mean, like you?" Christian asked. Robin did not answer. Instead, she removed the cloths with the coffee grounds wrapped up inside, tied them closed, then stored them in her magic bag. After that, she added 2 spoons of sugar to each of the mugs, and stirred.
Usually, Robin would add cream, but since she wanted to wake up, she opted not to add it this time. She handed Keith his mug, and shoved one into Christian's hands.
"Ah, ouch!" Christian quickly moved to grasp the handle, as the sides of the mug were still hot.
Robin sat down on the chair with her own mug, leaning back in a brazenly relaxed position. She took a good long sip of coffee. Due to her high fire aptitudes, she didn't scald her throat in the process. Instead the warmth settled in her c.h.e.s.t, like a soft warm ball of light.
"That's the stuff!" She smiled a bit, still savoring the lingering flavor. From the looks of it, both Keith and Christian liked it as well.
Robin stared off into the distance, Christian's words echoing in her head. Finally, she braced herself, and opened her mouth.
"Christian. I don't know what else you think I am, but I want you to get one thing straight: I am not kind." She finally said.
"You meddle so much, and have saved so many people, how can you not be kind?" Christian asked.
"All of that was merely for self-satisfaction." She replied.
"Complete and utter bull." Christian replied promptly, not believing a word of it.
"I'm serious." Robin scowled, shushing him. "Until I was ten, I was an ignorant little fool. After my parents died, I wasn't much better. But it was then that my eyes were opened to the ugliness of mankind. We are all, in the end, merely selfish creatures." Robin sighed.
"Ever since then, I've always wondered. Why would people do things that hurt others? Why would people ignore a cry for help? Why would people find joy in watching someone be brought to their lowest point? Why does evil and wrong exist?" Robin paused, and took another long sip from her mug, ending with a grimace.
"In the end, it's because mankind is selfish. We only seek our own benefits, whether if that comes through hoarding or giving, it's all the same. We just want to feel good about ourselves. And in my case, I didn't do it for them. I did it for myself."
"'I don't want to be like those who caused me to suffer.' 'I don't want to be bullied.' 'I don't want to be like those who just sat by and watched without doing anything.' Hero? hah. I'm far from. I'm just rebelling. Who set such ugliness within men's hearts? Who planted such an infernal seed? No matter how many times I cut it down, this damnable weed keeps coming back."
"But, kindness?...Kindness is something far greater than I." Robin's chin quivered. "My mother and father had kindness. No matter who it was, they were all treated well. If I made a mistake, it would be forgiven and forgotten. Even those snakes of a blood relation received their good will. Kindness is such an indescriminately blinding thing, shining down on good and bad men alike. So that's why, I am not kind." She said.
"There's probably something wrong with me..." She frowned. "I can't be kind, because I can neither forgive nor forget. Someone like me who bears such a massive rage against my enemies, someone who can't forgive...Don't be mistaken: I am not kind." Robin finally said, looking down at her palm, clenching it into a fist. "Even today, was just for my self-satisfaction. I threw myself into a fight, because I can't forget this rage. Nor can I allow myself to, for the time being."