32 Depression

Rishi started to narrate the incidents of his past. As he was unfolding his secrets, Aliya had varied expressions on her face. Though she knew everything, the way Rishi was speaking, she felt like she was transported back in time and herself living his life. While listening, sometimes Aliya had her eyes wide opened, sometimes furrowed or scrunched eyebrows, sometimes pity reflecting on her face and a couple of times her cheeks had the urge to turn pink but she successfully resisted.

"After what had happened with Amrita, I was shattered. My mind was repeatedly flashing two images in front of my eyes. One was of Amrita and the other was you. Both faces with distress, anguish... It was unbearable for me. My parents too almost abandoned me for a year. They left me in our house and went abroad for my sister's treatment and psychotherapy. I felt like whole world deserted me. I was left with loneliness. I had quit my food, alcohol... almost everything. Just to seek attention of someone who could see me and at least feel pity for my state. Maids would contact my parents complaining about me. They too had the same impression of me as a spoiled brat just as you have. Still my parents wouldn't bat an eye after knowing my condition. Of course, I was responsible for my own situation. I was filled with remorse. Finally everything led to depression.

Depression. Loneliness. Negativity. These were the only things I possessed at that time. I felt like someone sucked out everything from my body except sorrow. Sometimes I would slap myself for infinite times. I would roam around in the room talking to myself. I would be in my own world, imagining things and acting accordingly. It seemed as if an actor was acting in front of 20 cameras. But this was real. Reality. When the maids reported this to my dad, he made his one of the best decisions of his life..... Sending me to a mental hospital, among all mentally disabled people, to suffer as much I can, to bear shock treatments, to be tied up in a room...

Seeing Aliya's furrowed eyebrows Rishi said

"I am not talking sarcastically. I really appreciate his decision. Fortunately I was admitted in a reputed mental hospital. So there were no doctors, no nurses, nor any ward boys who hated mentally retarded patients. I lived there for quite a few months. And let me tell you, those were the most cherished moments of my life. At the very first day, I was given a shock treatment...

Aliya again had scrunched eyebrows.

"I know that is not a solution for depression. The doctors had never agreed for this torture for me. But my dad's wealth proved to be more stronger than the hospital's best treatment and reputation. As my dad threatened them to do this, they had to. I have still not figured out why he did this. But I again say that I was lucky I got a shock treatment...

This time Aliya had her one eyebrow raised up so high that it may exceed the length of her forehead.

"You will soon discover why am I claiming this. Due to the shock treatment, I faced hair loss. It caused overall hair thinning and I had to finally go bald. By God's grace, that effect was not permanent. The second effect was on my vocal cords. I screamed, yelled during the shock and even after it for a couple of days. This resulted in a change in my voice. Screams, shouts... turned my voice hoarse for 2 weeks. Before I was shifted to hospital, I had grown full beard and moustache. I had lost 5 kilograms due to my constant fasting. No gym, no food. My look was totally changed. If anyone who was familiar with my previous look had seen my current one, they could not have recognized me..... And as I said, at that time, not even you realized that it was me as a patient of that hospital."