Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I grabbed Lisandro’s shoulder and made him turn towards me.

As I was facing him, a vague afterimage appeared.

I rubbed my eyes at the sudden phenomenon, but instead of disappearing, it became even clearer. As the surroundings became darker and the figure more visible, a bloody man with a frightening face stood up.

This was definitely Lisandro in the original novel.

His sinister blue eyes seemed like a paradox. There was malice behind his glare, but I couldn’t stop looking into them.

My shoulders trembled.

Why are you here…

But when I gulped and blinked once, the eyes that kept me frozen disappeared into thin air.

I rubbed my eyes again and looked around, confused about what was reality because it happened in a blink of an eye, but the afterimage did not appear again.

…What was that all of a sudden?

I couldn’t forget those eerie eyes.

Goosebumps rose up my arms. I blinked slowly and stared blankly into the air because of the afterimage that disappeared quickly, but I heard Lisandro’s voice as he tilted his head to the side.

“What? What are you looking at?”

“…No, it’s nothing. Anyway, you’ll listen to me, right?”

I shook off the afterimage.

I turned to Lisandro again, thinking that I must just be too tightly wrung these days.

Lisandro looked at me with a sour look.

“…Since you’re threatening me, I have no choice but to listen.”

That alone was enough. I gave him a satisfied smile.

“Then don’t force anyone, including Frey. Especially when it comes to emotions.”

Lisandro tilted his head more. He didn’t seem to understand.

I didn’t think he’d understand anyway, but he nodded.

My role here was to crush any hint of a budding obsession so that it could be cut off and would never grow fully.

That should be enough to change him.

In the novel, it was said that Yurenia always just watched them from afar.

But I was different. Because I’d be caught between them anyway, I started interfering of my own volition.

I believe my efforts would have a butterfly effect.

That’s a good way to go about things, too.

In the original, when Yurenia noticed when Lisandro’s obsession had begun, it was already too late.

But since I knew everything, I could just stop him from going down the wrong path.

No matter how much I wanted to hide and ignore my duties as a saint, an oracle would announce my existence. But before I got called to the temple, I had no intentions of staying away from Lisandro until then.

It’s not something I was paying attention to, but somehow, it was after Yurenia entered the temple that Lisandro’s obsessive awakening happened. This has been on my mind constantly these days.

“Don’t you want the person you like to be happy?”

“Um…”

Is this really something you had to think hard about?

As expected, there were already buds sprouting on his head…

I held myself back from crying and struggled to raise the corners of my lips.

“You don’t want me to be happy? If there’s someone bothering me, would that be okay for you?”

“Who’s bothering you?”

In an instant, the air around Lisandro became heavy and the surrounding atmosphere began to flutter violently.

He’s still a kid, but he already had this much presence.

This kid really is a walking timebomb of double standards…

It’s a good thing he’s my brother.

Wait, no, maybe not.

I pushed back my conflicting thoughts to the back of my mind and continued speaking.

“See, you don’t like it. Do you want to see Frey suffer?”

“Well, I don’t want other people bothering you.”

So do you mean you want to do it yourself?

There was no way to know where the starting point of the spoilt part was.

“Are you saying it’s okay if you’re the one doing the bullying?! You’re so mean!”

I deliberately looked at him with fear in my eyes, pretending to be surprised and exaggerating my reaction.

Lisandro’s shoulders flinched visibly.

“T-That’s not it!”

“Then why did you say that?”

“B-But is it bad to think that way…?”

Lisandro hesitated, asking this question carefully. Instead of affirming this, I shook my head in disagreement.

“Well, I can’t tell you if it’s right or wrong because people can think freely. So I can’t say anything.”

“…You can’t?”

Lisandro, with his expression frozen stiff and serious, parroted my words cutely.

I glanced at him and added.

“But if you act on it, then it’ll be bad.”

I knew I couldn’t change his way of thinking.

If that were the case, then there would be no criminals in the world.

But I could tell him instead that it was bad to put it into action.

If someone is repeatedly taught this from a young age, then they’d think that they shouldn’t do it.

That’s why people’s childhood is very important.

But seriously, why did Lisandro grow up like that? I’m sure our parents brought him up well.

Unlike other nobles, our parents cared dearly for their children.

They were doting parents who tried to do whatever their children wanted. If it was something they weren’t allowed to do, then they’d scold the children. But even if they did that, they were still merciful.

Perhaps like Yurenia, they couldn’t see Lisandro’s other side?

My situation right now was better than the original’s, of course.

Lisandro’s behavior was brought to my attention only because I read the novel, but if I didn’t know anything, I wouldn’t have noticed anything strange about him.

That’s why they had found out too late and couldn’t stop him, and everyone died by his hands…

I shook my head as I recalled the final moments of our parents in the novel. Suddenly, I felt sullen.

“If you think that way, there may be people who could be harmed. Even as far as death.”

The word slipped out of my lips unconsciously. Then, I closed my mouth because even I was surprised by my own words.

It might be difficult for him to accept since he’s still a child.

“…I don’t understand.”

“Why don’t you lay on your hands and feet with your head down and your butt up* until you understand?”

At my out of place, but strongly recommended suggestion, his gaze flitted to my face.

“Go on now.”

I don’t think he could understand it fully yet, but if I keep urging him through corporeal punishment, then he’d automatically think it’s wrong in the future, right?

Then there’s no way he’d carry out such bad thoughts.

He frowned at my words.

“It makes me feel dirty just thinking of that kind of suffering.”

“That’s right. Other people feel the same way.”

He listened to me obediently and internalized this agony.

This was a good start. If I demand too much in the beginning, then it might just blow up in my face later on.

Once again, I managed to talk to the young Lisandro without any difficulties.

“I’m not saying that you have to stop looking good in front of the person you like. I just think it would be nice if you don’t force them to do anything and obsess over them to the point of anguish.”

Lisandro’s lips were sewn shut, his head down as if he was deeply troubled.

“Is it hard for you to understand?”

“It’s not difficult and I understand. But why?”

“Huh?”

“Why can’t I just do what I want to do?”

Ah, I could feel my smile cracking.

I grinned bitterly and pinched his cheek. I couldn’t hold myself back.

“How can a person live doing only what they want? Is that right or not?”

“No, but…!”

I put more strength into my fingers and pinched Lisandro’s cheek harder when he tried to talk back.

“Ack, oww it hurts!”

“Yeah, it hurts, right?! Don’t you think that your greed would destroy a person? Huh? Aren’t they going to hurt, too?!”

“Y-Yes they’ll be in pain too but…!”

“But? But what?!”

He looked at me and opened his lips.

“S-Still…”

This guy is really out of his mind. I thought he already understood even a little bit, so I felt some relief.

I didn’t think he was already thinking of such poisonous thoughts behind this innocent face.

“Lisandro, listen. Because of your greed, if you just make the person you like unhappy all for the sake of your self-interest, then…”

“T-Then…?”

His pupils were trembling as he gulped.

His face was filled with fear.

“I’ll beat you up until your butt’s on fire.”

“Uwaaaahh!”

Lisandro eventually burst into tears, unable to withstand my terrifying expression and intimidation.

As if the creepy words he said earlier were all lies, Lisandro cried and cried, pure, transparent drops flowing down his face.

Seeing him like that made me feel mixed emotions. No matter how differently I looked right now, he was still just eleven years old, and I was technically a lot older than him.

I felt like a mean sister who made her younger brother cry.

As my body got younger, I felt like my mental age got younger as well by itself.

While I was wondering how I could soothe Lisandro, the library door opened and there entered Frey, the target of Lisandro’s obsession.

Frey looked alternately between me and the bawling Lisandro. His eyes went back and forth, and his hair swept from side to side as he did so.

How cute…

Lisandro was crying right in front of me, but here I was, distracted by Frey’s cuteness.

“Lisandro… why are you crying?”

“Y-Yuni…!”

“What did I do, huh!”

“Uwaahh…!”

Lisandro whined and snuggled in my arms, sniffing through his tears. I looked down at him with my arms tightly folded together.

“Noonim, I won’t do it. Okay?”

“What is it that you won’t do?”

When I continued to refuse Lisandro even though he wanted to hug me, he sniffled again and said in a clear voice—

“I’ll never destroy anyone because of my greed.”

“Never?”

“Yes, promise! Never! I hate it more when Noonim gets angry at me or hates me!”

I pretended to hesitate for a moment.

It was hard to keep my mouth shut because he looked so pitiful.

“…Good.”

Only then did I hug Lisandro, who smiled broadly after hearing my answer.

Lisandro cried in my arms, relaxing in an instant.

Whether he called me Noonim or called me by my name and went on his own way, this baby lunatic would always be my baby brother.

Aristocratic children usually have tight schedules already even at this age, and we were required to learn nothing by etiquette, the usual academic subjects, and the history of the Empire.

Our parents would tell us that even though we didn’t want to do a lot of things now, we could learn them later when we grew up.

Maybe that’s why Lisandro was acting like a brat now.

As I watched Lisandro, whose eyes were red with tears, I felt like I was pushing him too much with difficult words, but the afterimage I saw and memories of the novel confused my train of thought.

And the words that Lisandro would casually say were so creepy…

I couldn’t see Lisandro through clear eyes because I could still vividly feel Yurenia’s heartache from dying by her brother’s hands in the novel.

Loving him dearly, yet hating him terribly.

These paradoxical feelings kept plaguing my mind.

I wondered why my dream and the novel could shake me so much.

What the hell was the reason…

As I was patting Lisandro on the shoulder, who was still crying in confusion, Frey grabbed my hand.

“Huh?”

When I looked up at him in bewilderment, Frey smiled and forced me and my twin apart.

“It’s getting worse, Noona.”

Unlike his bright smile, Frey looked at Lisandro with narrowed eyes.

Lisandro glared at Frey in return as fiercely as he could, even when he just said he would follow my words.

“You—!”

“It’s the book that you asked about, Noona.”

Frey naturally cut off what Lisandro was about to say and sat next to me, handing over a book.

I looked at the dark red cover in his hand, on which the title [ Dawn of the Full Moon ] was neatly written.

——

tl/n:

* there’s no English equivalent that I know of, but if you google 엎드려 뻗쳐 you’ll be able to see pictures of how it looks like (it’s not exactly like planking, but it’s similar)

also, i edited the way Frey and Lisandro call Yuni! Frey calls her Noona while Lisandro calls her Noonim (the more formal way of saying ‘older sister’)