Chapter 195 - Why Now ?

Father Lin first checked Xiao Shuyan , once Doctor Gu confirmed that Xiao Shuyan was really alright , only then Father Lin heaved a sigh of relief . After confirming Xiao Shuyan 's condition , he turned to look at his two son who were staring at him with vigilance and resentment . Though there was some relief and comfort flickering in their eyes , but the majority of their emotions were negative . 

Father Lin stiffened and then he turned around to look at Xiao Shuyan , seeing that the boy was still asleep , father Lin asked a nurse to take care of the kids before he brought his sons outside the medicine hall . 

Lin Yan and Lin Yu wanted to listen what their father had to say for himself so they quietly followed him outside , though their faces were still taut with anger and resentment . Lin Yan still gave the nurse who was taking care of Xiao Shuyan a hundred copper coins to brew medicine for the child . 

Their anger was a different matter and taking care of this sick child was  different . 

" they are not mine " said Father Lin at once , after the three of them came out of the medicine hall " those kids are the kids of my benefactor , the one who saved me after I drowned in the river because of the flood -my good brother and his wife .." father Lin broke away but there was no need for him to continue on with his sentence , because even without him completing the sentence , Lin Yan and Lin Yu understood that most likely the couple lost their lives because of the flood. 

" they left their kids under my care . I'm those kids Godfather you see " continued Father Lin blocking away his tears " that's why those kids call me father originally they called me Godfather but later on it became a painful reminder for those kids , every time they called me godfather , they would remember that they no longer have anyone in the world . So , I asked them to call me father .. their parents were really good to me . Its only natural that I am good towards their kids , after all I don't want these kids to think that they are orphans with me here "

Lin Yan cold face warmed up slightly on the other hand Lin Yu 's face that was stiff and stoic also lost some of its anger . However , the two of them still had many questions to ask therefore Lin Yan  only muttered an ' En ' while Lin Yu simply stared at his father coldly though the fists that were clenched on his sides told how agitated and nervous he was! 

" If you were al…alright why didn't you return ?" asked Lin Yu tilting his head slightly as he looked at his father in front of him " It has been more than ten years since you were gone , d…do you have any id…idea how much mo…mother suffered because you were gone !"

For the first time Lin Yu hated his stuttering more than anything in the world . He was clearly angry and enraged but because of his stutter he couldn't really let go of his anger completely . He didn't hate his father for leaving them for ten years but the reason he couldn't forgive his father 's absence was because of his mother's sufferings ! If his father returned would his mother's health deteriorate so much ? Would his mother go around asking for work at the embroidery shop , so that she could earn a little money for her sons ? Would the old Yu family suppress and trodden on his mother until his mother's illness flared so badly that she started to fall sick every now and then ? And even if ignored his mother's suffering could he ignore his brother's sufferings ? Can he forget how his elder brother almost lost his life ? Can he forget how his second brother was  almost r*ped by that old mistress ?Will he ever forget how his third brother was beaten until he almost died ? Or will he ever be able to forgive the helpless expression of his fourth brother when Grandma Lin told him that he could no longer study ? Even now fourth brother's tears were still fresh in his mind , even though it has been years - his fourth brother who always smiled like the gentle wind of spring cried for the first time that day ! Even if he forgot his pain and sufferings when he was thrown off the cliff - he will never forget his family's sufferings ! 

" Why co..come now ! Why are y..you only here now ! Why didn't you return b..before - if you di..did , if you di..did " Lin Yu broke away , his eyes turned red as all the resentment that he had buried in his heart broke free . Though the brothers acted like they all were fine after they lost their father but in fact , their father was the pillar of their family . Once he was gone , Lin Yu and his brothers felt as if they were being squashed by the sky itself! 

They have seen their mother fretting over the smallest expense - had seen her work till four in the morning before going out on the fields and plowing the land without any rest . If they didn't see their mother suffering so much , then their eldest brother wouldn't have ever went to hunt at such a tender age of sixteen . 

They have slept on hungry stomach , they have suffered through ailments and illness without medicine . They had gone past storms and now when everything was alright their father returned , now that they no longer needed their he came back - why did he have to return now ? Why not earlier when they all wanted him ?When they needed him ? 

However , no matter how much Lin Yu resented his father for his absence ,he was still really glad to see his father alive and well . 

Lin Yan saw his little brother crying and immediately embraced Lin Yu .. He knew that no matter how much this brat liked to act as a big boss , his heart was soft and warm - Lin Yu could pull small tricks but he was still a sixteen year old boy - still a child who haven't seen the world .