441 Wash Hands

Late at night, the bell filled the air. In the silent church, an old man prayed with his eyes closed under the holy emblem. The gentle light cast a fleeting shadow. In the serenity, even the metallic arm seemed gentle rather than deadly like a weapon. After praying, Abraham opened his eyes and studied the emblem. As if hearing the footsteps behind him, he turned around. Seeing the white-haired girl, he smiled and waved.

"Professor, I was looking for you." Bai Xi sat down obediently. "I didn't know you were here."

Abraham chuckled awkwardly. "For some reason, I feel frustrated these days. I can only feel calm here."

"Here?" Bai Xi was confused.

"God is here." Abraham studied the emblem. "I pray to him to let Charles be safe."

Bai Xi followed his gaze toward the simple sign. Then she looked back confusedly at the old man. "You believe in God too?"

"Maybe others will find this funny. I am old now and completely different from how I was when young." Abraham laughed at himself. "I did not believe in God before because I had nothing to ask for. Now, I really hope that God exists and can protect all of you, giving you, Yezi, and Charles a great future. I'm sorry. I should be responsible for this but I can't do it well."

"Professor, you've already done enough."

Abraham shook his head. "For decades, I was troubled about the world's structure but now, I've started fearing. I am incompatible with it yet I wish it will treat me well. This is my weakness…" He paused and smiled bitterly. "I even think that being weak is good."

Bai Xi looked at him with curiosity rather than disappointment. "What were you like before?"

"Probably a bad person?" Abraham scratched his head. "I'm ashamed to admit that I've killed many people before. Some did not need to die, some were innocent, but I didn't care. Sometimes, I would even get drunk from the feeling of controlling life. At that time, I was like a demon. I was trained to be like that.

"Someone told me that to protect this world, I have to kill things and get rid of the termites. That was the meaning of my life."

After a pause, Bai Xi said quietly, "But you don't like that, right? I like how you are now. You're old but you look nice when you smile."

"Before meeting Charles, I was terrified by my bloodthirsty nature. I would often wake up from nightmares and be unable to sleep. But sometimes, I would miss the warm feeling of my hands covered in blood.

"No one taught me how to buy coffee, shake hands with people. No one was willing to shake my hand either because I held swords. I didn't want to live that life—that was what I started thinking after I found Charles.

"I learned how to change diapers and take care of a child. I did many embarrassing things too…At that time, he was still so small but when he looked at me, he wasn't scared. At that time, I thought that I had changed and it was good."

Abraham smiled. The smile had no shadows. When he looked at Bai Xi, his eyes became gentle and pleased. "Do you know what makes me the happiest nowadays? Washing my hands. I clean out ink and chalk dust from my fingernails rather than blood." He stretched out his right hand. The clean and gentle fingers ruffled Bai Xi's long hair. "Now, I'm scared of dying because I think that living is good. There are more and more things that I care for in this world. I have you, Charles, and Yezi. I have three students. My past shouldn't be mentioned but you are all my future."

Bai Xi let him play with her hair. She leaned into Abraham's shoulder and murmured, "Professor, you're the best! When I get married, I want you to sit where parents should sit so I won't be scared."

"Okay." Abraham smiled but for some reason, he really wanted to cry. Hugging the girl beside him, he let the hot tears roll into his collar. He murmured, "Okay."

-

In the night outside the church, an old man stood in the darkness. He stared at Abraham's back. After a long while, he decided against going in and turned to leave instead.

"Abraham, are you still dreaming…"

-

That same night, in a dark alley of the Sacred City, there was a dilapidated building. Under the dim light, the air was filled with the pungent smell of medicine. Bags of medicine ingredients were piled on the shelf but were all unlabeled. This was clearly not a proper pharmacy. Even though the Sacred City was powerful, drugs still existed. These illegal drugs entered the Sacred City through various channels and were sent to different locations secretly. However, the two parties now did not seem to be doing business.

The oily fatty now had a blank expression. He was clearly being controlled by a Mind musician. Staring at the man outside the counter, he said emptily, "You disappeared for so many days and everyone was worried. If you didn't contact us today, we would've thought that you died."

Charles leaned against the wall dejectedly and smoked a poor quality cigarette. His eyes were bloodshot. Hearing the words, he nodded and muttered an, "Oh."

The fat man asked dumbly, "Is the plan successful?"

"So-so," Charles muttered. "Not good or bad."

Sensing his bad mood, the fat man asked, "Anything else?"

Charles fell silent. After a long while, he replied quietly, "I don't want to do it anymore."

"Huh?" The fatty did not hear clearly.

Charles raised his voice and repeated, "I'm not doing it anymore."

There was a long pause as if the other man could not process it. After a while, the Mind musician made the fatty say, "Charles, are you sure?" The voice was cold like an interrogation. "Have you thought it through? Have you thought of the consequences?"

"How many f*cking times do you need me to say it?!" Furious, Charles's head snapped up. He glared with red eyes. "I'm done! I'm f*cking done! F*ck the Revolutionaries! F*ck the Silent Authority! Lock me up and let me get a break! Lock me back up!"

He glared at the fat man. In a daze, the fat man became a dead fat man. He instantly decayed. A crude rope hung around his neck. As if he was hanging from somewhere, black blood flowed from his eyes, nose, mouth, and ears. His mouth opened but when he spoke, maggots and flies crawled out. They crawled…

It was happening again.

Those d*mn feelings were back…

Shocked, Charles stumbled back. Energy sapped, he slid down the wall and thumped onto the ground.

"F*ck…" he muttered, holding his head in pain.

The fat man stared at him coldly for a while before saying, "Okay. If you won't do it, there are many others. You can go now."

Charles froze. It could not be so easy.

"Anyway, that's all your worth for," the fat man said nonchalantly. "Do you know why Constantine thinks so highly of you? Because you're a genius? What a joke! It's because your teacher—"

"What are you saying?" Charles gaped. He climbed up and his eyes grew cruel. "This has nothing to do with my teacher! What do you want?"

"Nothing to do with him?" The fatty laughed emptily. "This is the sin that your teacher, Abraham, committed under Gaius when he was still a Dragon Rider! Now, it is time for him to pay. Charles, did you really think it through? If you don't want to do it, then fine. We can use Abraham as bait and—"

"Don't you dare!" Charles grabbed the fat man's collar and roared.

"This is your choice, Charles," the fatty said. "No matter how crazy Ye becomes, nothing will change. The Silent Authority doesn't care about titles. There are quite a few nobles locked up in the Mithril Cellar…You don't want your friend to be locked up because of you, right?"

Charles's grasp weakened. Clutching his head in pain, he stumbled back and curled up in the corner, mumbling. He seemed to be cursing someone but it was unclear. After a long silence, he looked up. The capillaries in his eyes were like burning flames. The eyes were emotionless and dull.

"My excuse was to buy medicine." He reached out. "Give me the stuff on this list."

The fatty smiled and patted his shoulder. "That's the way."

Silent, Charles accepted the medicine and left.

－

At night, the Sacred City was colder than usual. The water vapor frosted on the steel walls. Charles walked out of the secret location of the Silent Authority with his ridiculous medicine. Hanging his head, he walked toward the warehouse that he lived in. But then he heard a sigh behind him.

"You take forever." It was a bearded Revolutionary with a cigarette—his roommate. He leaned against the lamppost and used the weak light to look at Charles with a strange smile. "Got a cold?" His eyes seemed to knowing; they were chilling.

"How…" Charles stopped, speechless.

Beard Guy stuffed his hands in his pockets and walked up with a smile. Charles was frozen in place. He stared at Beard Guy's hands, not knowing what was hidden.

"What a coincidence." Beard Guy reached out. He was not holding a sword or rope. He just patted Charles's shoulder and said meaningfully, "I came out to buy cigarettes and heard that you were nearby so I decided to wait for you." Pausing, he looked in the direction Charles came from. "You were there for so long. Were you thinking of leaving?"

Charles smiled stiffly. "Why would I?"

"Then let's go." Beard Guy put a hand over his shoulder. His hand was strong like pincers. "Let's go back first. We can talk about the other things later."

Face pale, Charles clenched his jaw and forced out a smile. "Okay."

－

At the same time, Constantine sat on a chair under the dim yellow light in an abandoned warehouse. Emotionless and wordless, he tapped the table. The other men either sat or stood. Their expressions were dark but they all stared at the table and the document that was being tapped.

Behind Constantine, the examiner lowered his head and sharpened his dagger mindlessly. It grated in everyone's ears.

When someone knocked on the door, he smiled.